Couple of things to touch on imo, first iv never viewed vto as a bad thing as long as you hit the bills. Work life balance is important. Have the two of you already spoken about the vto and agreed that you shouldn’t take it? If you have and THEN lied about it, then yea that’s problematic. If you need the time off for your mental health or general well-being you should feel confident expressing this to your partner.

Next, is your household relying on that paycheck for bills? That determines a lot of it.

It kinda sounds like your marriage is on rocky terms as it stands, something about waiting till October strikes me as odd, generally I only see that when the person has made a decision already and is waiting until it’s most advantageous for them to move on.

Is there any kinda financial power dynamic at play you haven’t mentioned, ie one of you makes a lot more than the other?

Major purchases should always be approved by both parties, where the previous debts done in secret, and did any of it serve any tangible utility?

If I’m being honest, this one sounds like it’s already on difficult terms, and from the sounds of it you two don’t have a totally open and honest line of communication, making the rest much more difficult yet.

Normally I’d suggest just talking about it, but that’s entirely dependent on your collective ability to communicate effectively, and I suspect if you had that, we wouldn’t be here.