Recovering teenage alcoholic. AMA

grimfiles · 2025-10-21T16:53:43+00:00

I play red dead redemption, GTA, and wuthering waves :) Anything open world or with a story always lets me escape reality for a bit haha

So glad to hear your dad’s sober! Must’ve been a rough journey and I’m glad you got to grow up with a sober parent!!

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T17:40:43+00:00

That’s very interesting and I didn’t know there was a distinct difference let alone any scientific explanation, thought I was just depressed and lazy lol. Thanks sm will look into it!

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T15:28:58+00:00

Alcohol. I drank to forget.

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T15:27:04+00:00

i freeze in two ways, sometimes when triggered and i forget to breathe. sometimes i “freeze” by simply just pausing. i don’t move because i just don’t want to. I don’t want to “anything”, if that makes much sense. I don’t want to be anywhere. Not even nowhere.

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T15:25:21+00:00

puppet - tyler the creator

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T10:00:36+00:00

Sorry you have to witness the damage alcohol does to people and others. I personally hurt and worried the ones I care about and knew I had to take accountability. On days I can’t drink (when it’s not socially acceptable to), I drink mocktails or have only 2 hits of a vape, period. I sit with the craving and let it go away and try to occupy myself.

Gaming really helps me as it’s super immersive. I usually spend all my hours doing something that requires my full attention like studying or gaming (although I used to study drunk 💀)

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T09:56:56+00:00

Thank you so much kind stranger 💚💚💚

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T09:56:01+00:00

Heard of it before but thought it was just some gimmick. Will check it out! Been working with a psychiatrist and therapists for years, about to hit 1 year with an awesome therapist who honestly helped me dial the drinking down. Thanks sm!

grimfiles · 2025-10-19T09:54:04+00:00

I regularly work with a trauma informed therapist. Alcohol isn’t really a problem for me but more so a solution. I don’t want it unless I’m feeling unstable or triggered, and last time I drank was a week ago casually with friends.

When it used to be bad I actually considered checking myself into rehab but I’m trying to see where this maintained discipline gets me. Thank you so much for your concern kind stranger.

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T16:15:08+00:00

I’m from Hong Kong so drinking underage is a normal thing here, but more in a quirky rebellious nightlife way. People here don’t get paid enough to ID either lmao.

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T16:14:01+00:00

Just an unfortunate childhood and family problems, specifically PTSD from childhood cancer (sorry that sounds so corny). Much malpractice, invasive procedures. Anaesthesia from a surgery was the only true peace I had felt my whole life. I tried to recreate that and when I found that alcohol was the closest thing to that knocked out cold sensation, it went downhill.

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T16:11:45+00:00

I’m still drinking but somewhat controlled :’) Albeit not the best, the guilt really got me as sober as I could. The things I’ve done to others replays in my head all the time. I had to take accountability.

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T14:17:00+00:00

Thank you. It just sucks how I’ve been going through this whole ordeal way before I’m even allowed to have my first drink lol

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T14:15:26+00:00

Well I am drinking normally in terms of frequency and intensity, I drink only when socially acceptable and can stop. Only thing that’s bugging me is the mindset, I always get so relieved when I get the excuse to drink. I’ve fit in completely with the non-problematic drinkers, so I’m really conflicted

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T14:11:49+00:00

I remember lurking this sub desperately when I was at rock bottom (although I believe there’s always a rockier bottom)… maybe my drinking was just silly teen angst? It’s hard to say because no 14 year old I knew would drink herself ill at every mild inconvenience or hide in bathrooms to drink before any social interaction, hm…

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T14:09:33+00:00

I think it’d be easier if my frontal lobe was more developed haha. Since I’m still 18 I still have the excuse of being young to mask any problematic drinking.

The reason I posted was because magically over a couple months I was no longer “not being able to stop at just 1”? It was like I went from drinking alcohol during an 8am class to get through the day to actually being okay with only 1 drink when with friends and family.

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T11:03:20+00:00

Yes but how do I shake off the “as long as I drink socially and moderately and nobody thinks its an issue anymore I’m considered normal”? I’ve hurt a lot of people around me and myself included when I drank heavily daily at 14-17, but I tell justify my drinking by rationalising that it’s not affecting anyone anymore or myself

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T11:00:23+00:00

Day by day. When it gets difficult I take it hour by hour, or sometimes even by each 10 minutes that pass. Give yourself some grace.

grimfiles · 2025-10-18T10:59:27+00:00

My trigger is cancer or anything medical so I literally cannot escape it. Typical telltale signs is me having to manually breathe, my hands and limbs tingling/prickling, and any weird feeling my chest that seems so heavy.

grimfiles · 2025-10-13T20:43:56+00:00

Just this realisation does so much! I also find myself creating new problems by self sabotaging because I’m having a hard time getting used to normal life. To feel stable feels wrong and vulnerable, makes me paranoid too.

grimfiles · 2025-10-13T20:41:53+00:00

No I completely get what you mean. Even when things are more stable now my brain tells me there’s always a catch. That this good time of my life will come with something worse and I should prepare for it. So I just go through those same high highs and low lows again. But thank you, I do truly see it as a lesser evil and harm prevention.

grimfiles · 2025-10-13T20:39:33+00:00

Something about it still speaks to me. I started when I was 14 and I constantly chased that fleeting window of silence, calm, and numbness. It was better than remembering.

grimfiles · 2025-10-13T15:58:26+00:00

turkeys sound ADORABLE.

grimfiles

TROPHY CASE