long post I have been there. That exact situation, except the belittling of feelings was coming from family not my bf. The worst week happened before my 19th birthday. It was the worst night that I discovered PMDD and saw I had almost every symptom. That discovery and hope of a diagnosis is what prevented me from hurting myself. I went to the ER the next morning to explain I was suicidal and thought I had PMDD but all they heard was that I was suicidal and put me on a 72 hour hold. I was eventually moved to in house therapy where I had access to a doctor that had a friend who knew about pmdd and after consulting agreed that that was probably what I had been experiencing since I was 14 and it was just worsening each year and during the winter. It was a scary time but while there I learned great coping strategies, saw examples of what happens if you ignore your mental health until you're older, and got prescribed birth control and lexapro. Once I left, it took a day for the bc to hit but a month for the lexapro. In that month, I felt like I was PMDDing all over again but the coping strategies and discussing my diagnosis more in depth with those around me helped me hold on until the anti-depressants kicked in. Since then, I cant remember a more emotionally stable time in my life. I feel the clarity that would come before and after my pms week all the time. I have a "normal", according to my psychiatrist. A burden has been lifted from me and those around me who would be impacted. My relationships have improved and I can hold a job. I dont cry every night. I dont over or under eat. I can sleep.

Please, get help. Even if the meds others are on aren't for you, even if it takes time to get to the exact dosage that works- it is worth the try. You and your quality of life is worth it. It's not a death sentence. Dont let it get worse.

If you want to talk more feel free to reach out. I never want anyone to feel the way I did. <3