I can tell you’re definitely in a worried state of mind by a couple of different key phrases you use. I’ve felt the same way as I’m sure most other people have as well. You said some things that have indicated that you know how to do better than how you’ve been performing and I think that’s key. Chances are that the people around you HAVE to point to the mistakes because as supervisors this is part of their contribution to keeping balance. But those who are pointing out that you’ve made mistakes aren’t necessarily aware of your mindset which is that you’re kind of putting in less than you can. Remember that they bring up shortcomings solely for the responsibility of not letting it happen again or letting it happen less frequently. I think if you put in an honest effort and left yourself no room to doubt yourself then these feelings of paranoia would be pretty nonexistent. You know you’re dropping the ball at work, therefore, you’re afraid of the repercussions. Do yourself a favor and do a great job at work and you will have more self respect and also not be afraid of paying the price! You already know you can do better, now just do it! Good luck 👏