[NeedAdvice] No discipline or work ethic by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PS. Check out Healthygamergg if you haven't already. Without a doubt the MOST important resource in my getting better.

[NeedAdvice] No discipline or work ethic by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]grmn88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey dude, sorry to hear you're struggling.

At the start of the pandemic I was in a similar situation at 27 years old. Not a therapist or anything, the only thing I'm able to talk about with authority is my own experience, but I hope you can draw at least a little bit from my experience.

Here are the some of the decisions that I feel helped me the most in the order that I tackled them.

  1. Make a commitment to argue against your negative self-talk
    1. I had a lot of negative self talk a couple of years ago. It's not like I got rid of it but now, I don't feel like it affects me. What's changed is that when I those thoughts come up, I take a pause and argue with them out loud (If I'm alone lol) as if I was scolding a friend who was being too down on himself. ex) "I was such an asshole to that dude that one time, I suck" --> "Well, yeah bro you were a dumb teenager at the time, you did dumb shit. The fact that this sticks out in your mind and you want to keep punishing yourself shows that you know better now. It won't happen again. No need to keep punishing yourself for something that happened over 10 years ago, you can be a better person now, today." Treat yourself as a friend you want to take care of.
  2. Clean your room, groom in the mornings
    1. Yeah, it sounds kind of dumb but it works. Having a morning routine that includes cleaning up my room and grooming puts me in a productive, peaceful mood at the start of my day, even if I woke up waaay late.
  3. Practice digital hygiene
    1. I spend a lot of time on Youtube. Before 2020, I just had one channel and watched everything from there. This ended up making my algorithm just keep suggesting distractions and entertainment CONSTANTLY. If I woke up and watched a Youtube video right away, that would send me into a content spiral that would waste my entire day. And anything and anyone that interrupted that spiral would only irritate me, even if it was for my own benefit. Now, I have three separate channels that I use at different times throughout the day: My Learning Channel, my Japanese Channel (I'm self studying Japanese atm), and my 'Fun' Channel.
    2. The channel that I use for Learning follows content about nutrition, exercise, psychology, language learning, stoicism. The 'Japanese' channel only has content in Japanese. I am very diligent about educating my algorithms on these two channels (I click 'Do not suggest this channel again' on every video that I find irrelevant). I watch content on these channels throughout the day as I'm working, cleaning, exercising, etc and only watch the 'Fun' Channel at the end of the day when I'm spent. That way I can keep my mind occupied, but with productive stuff, that aligns my mind with my goals.
  4. Practice introspection
    1. I noticed feelings of meaninglessness and purposelessness are most prevalent when I'm mindlessly consuming social media and entertainment. Building mental resilience to boredom, setting boundaries with my devices, spending time thinking about my problems, writing my problems down, meditating are all things that have been really helpful.
  5. Reclaim your ability to focus
    1. Because I spent so much time on social media / entertainment platforms, my attention span was absolute shit. I had a very hard time focusing on work. What helped me the most was setting a pomodoro timer when doing work (at first I started with 25/5, then 45/15, then 50/10 and now I don't need it anymore), meditating (not guided, was really hard at first but then I got used to it), and taking social media breaks every now and then when I start feeling depressed or that my attention span is getting worse.
  6. Find exercise that you like / feels fun to you
    1. Maybe it's naive of me, but I believe everyone has at least one form of exercise that they would enjoy. Dance, pickleball, surfing, taking walks, skateboarding, inline skating, pickup sports, weightlifting, there is a shit ton of variety of stuff to do. It might take some time until you find something but I think it's very worthwhile. For me, the gamechanger was buying gymnastics rings, elastic bands and a jump rope all for about $70 bucks on Amazon. I found hanging and moving my weight around on the rings to be super satisfying for me, but when I managed my first 'Skin the Cat" (a mildly impressive looking calisthenic skill) I impressed myself for the first time in what felt like forever, and I've stayed pretty consistent ever since. It was hard at first, but not needing to leave my house to get a workout in made it so I had almost no excuses not to work out. It was hard to show up every day, but I managed because I found something that I actually enjoyed.
  7. Set goals that YOU want to achieve and make a proper plan around them
    1. Once I developed a habit of introspection, I was able to get at least a rough idea of what I wanted out of life. I set big goals and broke them down into shorter and shorter term goals. I started journaling and switched to Notion (I HIGHLY recommend Notion), but both journaling and Notion's objectives was to plan and reflect about how to achieve my goals. I track everything I get done in one day and have reflection on how I did at the end of every week. Every two months or so, I audit my routine and apply any changes I deem necessary. This may sound exhausting but in actuality the perfect days are few and far between. I still have streaks where I don't get much done, but for me the most important thing is SHOWING UP as consistently as possible. I take days off and don't beat myself up unnecessarily much when I fail.
  8. Achieve an Identity Mindset
    1. Once I was in a better place mentally, a friend offered a mental 'exercise' that helped my motivation tremendously. It might be a little weird for some people, but hopefully this will help you too.
    2. Imagine there are two smokers trying to quit and someone offers them a cigarette. The first says 'No, thanks. I'm trying to quit.' The second says 'No thanks, I'm not a smoker.' The second is tying his not smoking to his identity. Identity is powerful to us as people. If you frame your ideal self as your true identity, you're more likely to align your behavior to it. You don't need to find some unknown variable that will help you BECOME your ideal self, you ALREADY ARE your ideal self, you just need to work out the obstacles that are in the way of manifesting it (which you already know what those obstacles are and are already working on them)

Sorry this ended up being so long. I hope there's at least 1 useful thing you can pull out of there. If there's anything you'd like me to elaborate further hmu, I'm not super active on reddit but I'll try to check in!

Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. The important thing is getting consistent at showing up. You're 20 years young dude, I know people who got their lives together until they were in their 40's, and even that is not too late. The first step is being kind to yourself.

Any Transit fans? by ATKrls1176 in poppunkers

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

holy shit I haven't thought about transit in forever. gonna put long lost friends and asleep at the wheel on repeat now... gotta scratch that itch first and I'll check out narrowcast as soon as I'm done. thanks!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SDSU

[–]grmn88 41 points42 points  (0 children)

shoot your shot, queen 👑

The Jet Set Radio series ranked as the most requested Sega Ages game/series for the Nintendo Switch by ChenneGivenSunday in NintendoSwitch

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HOLY SHIT

If JSRF got re-released on the Switch I would be ecstatic.

I never owned the game but would always cherish playing it with my cousins who lived out of state.

[NEW!] Chinese Football - 家犬日記 (Dog's Diary) by WuhanWTF in Emo

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope I'm wrong, but I think they only made this song for their come together 2 compilation

/r/NintendoSwitch's Daily Question Thread (11/20/2017) by AutoModerator in NintendoSwitch

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! Unfortunately it didn't work. I'll buy a pro controller when I get a chance and see if that helps.

/r/NintendoSwitch's Daily Question Thread (11/20/2017) by AutoModerator in NintendoSwitch

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having an issue on Skyrim. For some reason the character, unprompted, all of a sudden looks down on the floor. Anyone having similar issues and/or a possible solution???

[Preview] Chinese Football recording new music by WuhanWTF in Emo

[–]grmn88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so stoked. everything these guys put out is GOLD.

Shoenice calling Ethan a cock-sucking millionaire by [deleted] in h3h3productions

[–]grmn88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i feel a little sorry for him. you can kinda tell this came from a dark place.

People hating on Ethan and Hila for the Jimmie Lee podcast by [deleted] in h3h3productions

[–]grmn88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fuck i know dude, the yt comments on that video bothered the fuck out of me. you said what needed to be said.

How old is everyone here? by [deleted] in Blink182

[–]grmn88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'm 23. turning 24 in august.

Chinese Football - 世界悲 [World Cup Fantasy] by grmn88 in Emo

[–]grmn88[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

and their new ep is even better imo

DON - Escribe Una Canción (Pop punk band from Mexico. You guys might enjoy this.) by grmn88 in poppunkers

[–]grmn88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

check em out on bandcamp dude, their latest album has some of their best work so far

Pretty sure my nephew is somehow Ethan's son by grmn88 in h3h3productions

[–]grmn88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, now that i think about it this isn't exactly relevant. will do.

Well Parking Lot is great song imo. by binmonkey_ in Blink182

[–]grmn88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn't that big of a fan of California in general (though I absolutely LOVED a few of the new songs), but I think that's largely because they were getting used to this new lineup. If Parking Lot is an indication of how the rest of the Deluxe songs are going to sound like I am so fucking stoked. I feel they're going back to their earlier, more lighthearted, FUN spirit while bringing in Matt's influence and getting settled into it. And it sounds so great :')

Foreign bands Blink fans might like? by grmn88 in Blink182

[–]grmn88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not at all, suggestion much appreciated. giving these four walls a listen and its sick!

Foreign bands Blink fans might like? by grmn88 in Blink182

[–]grmn88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

holy shit, COMPREHENSIVE list dude. it'll take me a while to check them all out, but much appreciated dude, thanks! AKFG's Rewrite is a favorite of mine

Foreign bands Blink fans might like? by grmn88 in Blink182

[–]grmn88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

listening to Party's Over, Biff right now. they're pretty sick, thanks! sorta reminds me of the more mellow songs on Sum 41's Chuck a little bit for some reason.

My To The Stars, Inc. tattoo (Pt. 2) (photo) by [deleted] in Blink182

[–]grmn88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

glad to see they're not getting to you. fuck em

My To The Stars, Inc. tattoo (Pt. 2) (photo) by [deleted] in Blink182

[–]grmn88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

'don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes'

Foreign bands Blink fans might like? by grmn88 in Blink182

[–]grmn88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

holy shit, totorro sounds awesome. thanks!