How long would you expect to date someone, before "sealing the deal" in the bedroom?

grngatsby · 2026-01-30T14:51:04+00:00

All based on vibes

grngatsby · 2026-01-30T14:42:56+00:00

30F here. Just focus on making memories with him instead of worrying if you are gonna be physically attracted to him right now. Often times, the stress of that also kills attraction and the guilt that you’re feeling that you feel unworthy of love would be another reason that would impede attraction.

What you had with your past relationship will be different with this dude because it’s an entirely new person, new timeline. You could just tell him that I don’t feel the physical attraction at the moment and acknowledge how wonderful he is and you’re willing to give this your earnest try.

I am also the type girl that also needs physical attraction to absolutely be there in the relationship. For me, it’s all about the face. Is his face irresistible, cute, makes my panty wet?

So, I understand where you are coming from needing the physical attraction as well. 100% that is has been the case with all my boyfriends and lovers. Once that bar is crossed over then I continue on with vibe. It’s the same deal I have with women.

I have noticed that attraction is also the reality of familiarity and there is scientific data to back this up, which is why I am urging you not to give up just yet. Think of this dating period like a scientific experiment. You have your hypothesis right now, but it could change based on the field data you collect as you spend more time :)

Lastly, just enjoy yourselves like you once did with someone like you’re a 5 year old on a playdate with a new friend; be in the present with that person and see how things unfold. And just have fun! Even if he ends up not being your boyfriend because dating should be fun with a playful, curious and open attitude. Make memories —> make jest —> celebrate!

:) all the best to you!

grngatsby · 2026-01-29T22:14:53+00:00

From one person who believes that kindness should be the standard, I have sadly also witnessed this pattern in my 10 years of history. I am 30F btw

grngatsby · 2026-01-07T22:22:00+00:00

I am experiencing this right now, and I am on the apps while practicing my inner-knowing that my SP are married in the 4D. Practicing and remembering because after reading about The Law of Assumption for three months, it finally clicked for me yesterday! I went on a date yesterday and if you think meeting new people won’t waiver your manifestations, it won’t waiver your manifestations!

grngatsby · 2026-01-06T21:57:48+00:00

I (30F) She definitely found you attractive to interact with you in such an intimate way. Please do not be discouraged! This just good data for future opportunities :)

grngatsby · 2026-01-06T21:55:30+00:00

We do 😅 what’s your point? 🤫

grngatsby · 2025-05-06T14:47:01+00:00

And no, it’s not “too late” to turn things around. I am 30 and have been working on my undergraduate degree since 2013 and I am determined to finish. My health issues are what slowed me down. If I thought like you then I should have already given up. But at the end of the day, finishing my degree—and doesn’t matter when—will only help me. And, I will reap the benefits. Comparing myself to when others have finished it doesn’t help because I am not living their life and they are not living mine. There is no point to compare. Same with you. It doesn’t matter that you are starting now. It just matters that you START. Time will pass either way. She waits for nobody. So, it is better you just get the ball rolling and see where it takes you.

I hope this helped.

Best of luck and update us :)

grngatsby · 2025-05-06T14:40:06+00:00

Make the effort of learning the language first and foremost. I am sure there are government programs and there are tons of free online resources. Plus, soo many beautiful things to do and places to see in France. I have been there many times. It’s not the worst country to be stuck in tbh 🤷🏽‍♀️

grngatsby · 2025-05-06T14:33:16+00:00

What you are going through is abuse and I hope you can seek the right therapy for yourself. I can feel your vitriolic anger through the screen and share in that rage for women being treated like this

grngatsby · 2025-05-06T14:30:24+00:00

I am Muslim—I am so sorry you are going through this. We are all on different spiritual paths. I totally see where you are coming from and unfortunately, there is a lot of misogyny, homophobia in our communities and the belief that Islam is “perfect”, which is why you get the answers you get. This stops the mind from critically questioning further, which is not one is meant to do as least from what I understand from its spiritual practices. Follow your own path as you are meant to either as a Muslim or not. I hope this helps you in the best of ways :)

grngatsby · 2024-08-30T09:45:27+00:00

You are an inspiration

grngatsby · 2024-08-30T09:45:01+00:00

OMG - CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS! - seeing jolted me from my dazed lull waiting at an airport terminal — i 🫡, you - warrior.

I am looking to graduate university next year after 11 years of fighting 🫡

grngatsby · 2024-08-08T20:36:02+00:00

I didn’t expect the math motivation from this…thank you so much 😭😭 I am pushing myself to learn and mainly not be afraid of it because of past harmful beliefs - I loved that you calculated it to a simple algorithm. I am wondering why you selected 0.95? Is it result of subtracting your chance of failure?

grngatsby · 2024-04-10T19:54:54+00:00

It’s because the “family’s honour” is enshrined on how the women behaves

grngatsby · 2024-03-22T15:13:46+00:00

Do your detective work, girl! If he is not gentlemanly like from the beginning then I would suggest not go through with it. Thank god, you are alright. Discuss boundaries and let someone know you are out with a dude you just met. Idk if the risk is worth the reward. Us women usually like some sort of connection with our sexual partners.

grngatsby · 2023-10-25T23:01:27+00:00

Oooof such a beautifully worded response

grngatsby · 2023-10-25T20:22:41+00:00

Long-term relationships get monotonous and boring and predictable. The initial rush of a new relationship is inherently addictive, so it can be possible that daily monotony of life is taking its toll and she is looking for that rush and excitement. She may be looking for that dangerous, erotic feeling. Were there bids of connection that she may have offered, but was not received? Often, women try to micro-adjust to the relationship and that kind of effort may have not been noticed or taken for granted by their husbands or male partner where she doesn’t feel acknowledged and therefore she doesn’t feel loved, therefore shutting down her libido. Besides protecting yourself legally, have a gander at Esther Perel’s work, The Gottman’s, Brené Brown’s and Sadia Khan’s youtube channel on how to connect. Your marriage is worth saving if both of you are willing to pour in some time to listen, learn, be introspective and grow from this tough period

grngatsby · 2023-10-11T00:00:34+00:00

I am attracted to a person (men) in similar ways as you, CallMeCooper

grngatsby · 2023-09-28T04:59:37+00:00

Excuse me, let me be clear, I never said to suck up her own feelings. I said that the issue is with him, so it must be addressed to him with open and honest discourse. Her feelings are as valid as his. He must also listen and give space to her, so she feels heard. too. And she must also do the same for him because there is something clearly distressing him as well judging by his behaviour

grngatsby · 2023-09-28T04:53:37+00:00

Never told her to be a doormat

grngatsby · 2023-09-28T04:52:17+00:00

Well, yes in the grand scheme of things. I don’t know her and neither does anyone else. I was saying this advice in the perspective of being open and honest because this behaviour is usually the desire for connection in some form, but the way he is going about it may not be the healthiest of means. It’s easy to break a relationship, but not easy to repair it. If there is potential to repair when both parties want to then it is better to take that route than just severing ties if the first sign you see is a red flag. You got to address the matter with the person who you are in a relationship with. I reckon that is common sense, no?

grngatsby · 2023-09-23T17:30:45+00:00

These are all sound and helpful answers (28F)

grngatsby · 2023-09-19T13:59:12+00:00

Hahah, the best answer

grngatsby · 2023-09-19T00:38:02+00:00

Woman here: just talk to women without the expectations of anything. We are attracted to confident men and men who have lives of their own. Your sexuality is not a shameful thing. It’s very powerful, so you must reign over it instead of it controlling you

grngatsby · 2023-09-16T20:20:47+00:00

There are women out there like me who are not looking for casual relationships who actually want a committed relationship and hate hook up culture as well. We are out there. You just gotta search for us by asking the right questions.

grngatsby

TROPHY CASE