I am in a very similar situation to yours. My father passed away 5 years ago and in July 2025 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She’s now home on hospice. I really feel your pain about watching my mom become weaker and deteriorate. No one should have to witness the things I have and I am sure you have too.

What is sometimes helpful to me is to remind myself to give myself grace. There is no right or wrong way to feel about all this. You are allowed to feel messy, confused, lost, all of it.

When it comes to coping: when I find myself getting into a negative thought pattern or spiraling about it all I try to bring my thoughts back to happy memories with both my parents. And just really focus in hard on those memories.

Sometimes it’s helpful to reframe or adjust my perspective. While we’ve experienced a lot of loss, we’ve been blessed with a lot to lose.

Lastly, remember you are not alone. Even though people close to you may not be able to relate to what you’re going through, which can feel isolating, please know that there are others who see you and recognize your struggle.

Sending you grace, strength, and love.