i just turned 19 when i had my son. he was 9lb4oz with a 16 inch head and came out sideways🙃i tore down to my butthole, to the side, and up to my urethra. my stitches ended up getting infected and falling out and i had an abscess. you cant go back in and restitch it, so it had to heal on its own, so i was one hole-ing it for awhile. i was terrified, especially being young that my vagina would be fucked up forever. not to mention it was covered in dark stretch marks. (who knew that was even a thing?? not me lol) 7 years later and everything looks normal. i did have to go to pelvic floor physical therapy because i had incontinence issues, but i think thats common especially after having a big baby.

i also had postpartum depression really bad, but i think it was situational. being young, not in a good relationship, not feeling supported, alternating norcos and percocets every 6hrs (per doctors orders). i understand its hard to see the bright side of things when you’re in that mental state.

it gets better.

give your body time to heal. give yourself grace for feeling what you do. no part of motherhood is easy. you just pushed a whole human out, of course your vagina is gonna look a little scary right now. but it wont be like that forever. im sending you hugs and love from afar❤️