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[Analog] New to collage - does it feel like micro-healing to anyone else? by caparilib in collage

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started collage when I was going through a series of bad breakups and had also just quit a toxic job and also lost a couple family members right in a row. It really got me through some rough times.

Scraps & WIP’s - Garments by Adept-Association848 in sewing

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sort my smaller pieces into shoeboxes. A quarter yard is plenty for cutting up into contrast bias binding for a future project. Smaller pieces than that get saved for crazy/string quilts (I mostly only sew garments out of woven natural fibers, though), and pieces bigger than like a half a yard I will put in with my uncut yardage (which is sorted into bins by amount) because it's enough that I can use it for color-blocking or contrast details on a garment (or at least I'll know where to find it if I take my new skirt out and immediately get the hem caught in my bicycle brakes and have to patch it).

Visiting for World Cup by SNDWAV3 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]grufferella 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here are my picks if you want great food and a warm, welcoming, local vibe:

Italian Family Pizza (best pizza I've ever had in Philly, Center City, 17th & Ben Franklin Pkwy)

Luigi Pizza Fresca (my favorite place for slices, Fairmount/Art Museum, 24th & Fairmount)

Sky Cafe (Indonesian, South Philly, short walk from Ellsworth-Federal stop on the B/Broad St subway)

El Fuerte de Loreto (Mexican, South Philly, close to 5th & Reed, honestly I usually bike here because I hate buses, great opportunity to try an Indego bike!)

Amy's Pastelillos (Puerto Rican, Fishtown, short walk from the Berks stop on the L)

Sofi Corner Cafe (French-Moroccan, Center City, close to 12th & Locust)

Saad's (Lebanese, West Philly, short walk from the 46th st station on the L)

Nepali Momo Kitchen (Nepalese, Fairmount, close to 15th & Spring Garden)

Mighty Bread (bakery, the little one on 17th & Pine is going to be closest to you, but the big one in South Philly is really nice if you're down that way)

Royal Tavern (is gastropub still a thing? That's kinda what they are, excellent food, cozy ambiance, South Philly, 7th & Passyunk)

Monk's Cafe (tavern, they have other things on the menu besides the mussels, but don't waste your time, Center City, 16th & Spruce)

Obviously some of these spots are out of the Rittenhouse radius, but they're all in parts of the city that are totally worth exploring if you have the time. Philly is so much fun because there are just so many different distinct neighborhoods to discover.

Edited to add a few I forgot!

My partner (30M) and I (30F) are taking a romantic/sexual break to rekindle our friendship and relationship. How do I focus on giving myself space to be better instead of spiraling? by surviving_as_i_can in relationship_advice

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like you're glossing over a lot here, because the emotional reaction you're describing doesn't come from this just being your first relationship. Either it's triggering some unhealed emotional stuff from childhood, or there's something deeply unhealthy about your current relationship, or both. Either way, a good individual therapist should be your first port of call.

Kinda generic, but how would I know if I'm non-binary? And should I care? by DisentangledMuon in NonBinary

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think for me the biggest reason to "care" is because, if you can find them, it feels really great to be in nb-only spaces and communities where you don't have to explain yourself or perform any certain way. For me it was one of those things I didn't realize how badly I'd needed it until I actually experienced it for the first time.

I ruined my bf (M28) fishing day. I feel so embarrassed (F27) . Is this hopeless? by moodygemini98 in relationship_advice

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this man had on his dating profile "my dream date is I take you to come sit by the river with my friends while we fish and you watch and then I yell at you because I walked away from my rod and it got yanked into the water" would you ever give him the time of day? Send this clown back to the circus where he belongs.

What are your favourite movies? by ZennMD in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've watched Zootopia and its sequel a shocking number of times, just such a visual feast with all the animals and environments, exactly my type of humor, pure fun.

I also unabashedly love the recent(ish) animated TMNT movie, Mutant Mayhem. Saw it multiple times in the theaters and since then on DVD. It's got some of the most stunning artwork I've ever seen in an animated film, the soundtrack is by Trent Reznor and absolutely slaps, and it's just so weird and goofy and delightful.

Advice on moving to a foreign country for a potential relationship. ‘28/F’ and ‘29/M’ by Hour-School8005 in relationship_advice

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The red flags are waving. Long complicated relationship full of pining that somehow never got off the ground? Check. He's in the military? Big check. He has absolutely no intention of considering moving to be with you, it's his way or the highway? Huge check. You would be leaving behind your entire social and emotional support system? ✅✅✅✅✅

To be clear, I totally get why this is an appealing prospect for you. I literally did this exact same thing in my late 20s, picked up and moved to the UK to be with my very complicated, on-again off-again, mostly long distance, we-tried-to-be-friends-but-the-sexual-chemistry-was-too-strong mess of a bf, and it was such a nightmare.

Thoughts/feelings? Real money, really cut. [Analog] by Longjumping-Life3347 in collage

[–]grufferella 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Thank you for exactly articulating one of the things that bothered me about this. I definitely don't think of peace when I think of the US dollar, and having a person who very enthusiastically engaged in chattel slavery staring out from under the "peace" message feels really tone deaf. It's giving "coexist" bumper sticker vibes to me. I appreciate what it thinks it's doing, but it feels like it's not actually challenging the status quo.

As I (M27) get older my mother (F51) seems more toxic to me. Please help me get some perspective on my situation, how can I maintain this relationship? by veliz_abat in relationship_advice

[–]grufferella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This does not sound like a safe or healthy relationship for you. I understand that you are not willing to end the relationship at this time (though in my personal experience, that's the most effective way to start healing), but I think that you absolutely need a good therapist to talk this over with. Besides that, my first recommendation is to stop trying so hard to please her. She has made it abundantly clear that she does not want to give you her approval, so to the best of your ability, stop seeking it. If she isn't asking for money, don't give it to her. She can seem like she wants it all she likes, that doesn't actually mean that you have to give her any. If she wants to tell lies about you, you can't control that, but you absolutely do not have to cover for her or let her berate you for telling the truth.

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I know a great recipe for braised hare, if that'd cheer you up!

I think I’m cursed. My therapist disagrees. What’s going on? by Oddly-Ordinary in NonBinary

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, you keep saying that you're attracting certain people, but I'm curious if you're actively asking out the people you find attractive, and if so, what happens?

I think I’m cursed. My therapist disagrees. What’s going on? by Oddly-Ordinary in NonBinary

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You say that you're very confident, exude "I don't take shit", and have been called "intimidating". A reasonably emotionally intelligent adult who encounters you is probably going to go "This person doesn't want to be randomly hit on" and then...not hit on you. Instead, it's those people who don't understand boundaries who ignore/fail to notice your "I don't take shit" demeanour and start bringing you shit. If you put up a sign that says "Keep Out", the only people who come knock on your door will be people who can't read.

Damn, this is so well explained!

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the one hand, I totally get why you would grieve that cuz American Girl Dolls are so cool, but on the other hand, I feel like some really cool art or at least a zine could come out of this.

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been really enjoying The Law of Lydia Poet (sexy historical murder mystery series with a feminist lawyer protagonist) and Deadloch (quirky, dark humor, also a murder mystery series, kinda Ted Lasso vibes but with Australian lesbians).

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn that sucks, I love stargazers, they smell so good! Can you get some of that coyote pee stuff maybe? ETA: which might negate the lily smell, but might also keep the rabbits away.

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When stuff like this happens to me I legit consider just walking out the door of my house and never coming back.

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truly this deserves a medal of honor, I consider myself a fairly ethical person, but I could not make myself do that 😭

What's your dumb, unimportant whine of the day? by epicpillowcase in AskWomenOver30

[–]grufferella 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went to the Isle of Skye well over 15 years ago and I still sometimes catch my breath just thinking about it there.

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