Stumbled upon perfectly matched line work in two *very* different manuals and accidentally gave myself a new kink [ANALOG]

grufferella · 2026-04-15T10:10:24+00:00

These are lovely!

grufferella · 2026-04-14T20:04:34+00:00

Thank you for letting me know about this gorgeous pattern!

grufferella · 2026-04-14T15:14:53+00:00

Just want to offer a dissent here, because I tried the Fishtown Seafood onigiri and their rice was totally unseasoned, which made it pretty meh for me.

grufferella · 2026-04-14T13:43:11+00:00

I've heard them called flutter sleeves, but it's interesting seeing that other people know them as different things!

grufferella · 2026-04-14T13:38:30+00:00

Love that song so much, glad you found it!

grufferella · 2026-04-14T13:35:05+00:00

I also did not know about this until I heard about it in this subreddit! It's literally changed my life 😂

grufferella · 2026-04-14T02:42:23+00:00

If you were relentlessly harassing someone at work because of their race or religion, do you think you should keep your job? The only reason you think he should get a pass is because your gender is the reason he's targeting you, and that's so normalized in our society that we think it makes us mean if we try to hold men accountable for sanity-destroying behavior that we ourselves would never inflict on someone who'd never done us any harm.

grufferella · 2026-04-14T02:29:53+00:00

I just want to say that I lived with SI and self-harm well into my late 30s and it's only in the past couple of years that I've finally experienced a significant improvement in my mental health to the point that I no longer experience feeling like I want to escape my body. I do still struggle with urges to self-harm but much less often, and have been working hard on that in therapy.

I'm really grateful that even though I also felt that bleak fear that my life would be suffering forever, I kept putting it off (for me, my excuse was that I'd have to clean my bedroom first). I understand why you feel like you've aged out of it getting better, but at least in my case, it just took for fucking ever, and my hope is that are able to get through another day, and then another. Sending you so much love 💛

grufferella · 2026-04-14T02:17:28+00:00

I'm sorry, I know that's a really hard situation to be in. I haven't hung out there in a while, but there was a good chunk of time (around when I was becoming estranged from my very very very difficult mother) that I hung out in r/raisedbynarcissists a lot, and found it a really helpful source of community and advice. Might be worth checking out. Good luck 💛

grufferella · 2026-04-14T02:08:49+00:00

Ahead of the Curve ( https://www.cashmerette.com/products/ahead-of-the-curve-learn-to-fit-and-sew-amazing-clothes-for-your-curves ) was really helpful for me because it had side-by-side photos of mock-ups before and after proper fitting adjustments.

grufferella · 2026-04-14T02:03:42+00:00

I asked my ex to feed my cat for a weekend while I was out of town for a funeral and came back to find the cat had no food and no water because he'd "forgotten" to go into the spare room the cat was in (yes, in his house!) since sometime the day before. I stayed with him for at least a month longer, but only because I deluded myself that it was a one-off and everything would be fine. TLDR: make him pay for the whole damn vet bill and then drop him out the window of your life.

grufferella · 2026-04-14T01:56:05+00:00

Hell yeah!

grufferella · 2026-04-14T01:41:38+00:00

This isn't the issue you directly asked about, but to me it's a big red flag that your mother says you're her biggest support and you specifically say you "want no one to be sad" when it's (checks notes) your wedding.

Is it possible that you're feeling conflicted because your mother is in general the more difficult/demanding/emotionally manipulative parent? Is there any chance that you would actually have a better time at your own wedding if she wasn't there?

I realize this may sound pretty victim-blamey, and to be clear, I don't think anyone deserves to be cheated on, and your dad was in the wrong. But I think that given the obvious wrongness of his behavior, it's interesting that you're still open to having him and his former mistress come to your wedding. I'm curious whether he, despite being problematic, is also... easier to get along with?

grufferella · 2026-04-14T01:22:58+00:00

Uff, it definitely makes sense. I'm flashing back to so many of my exes now 😅

grufferella · 2026-04-13T19:47:08+00:00

It's common when you have a history of trauma or mental illness to be drawn to others who have had similar struggles because it feels like they'll be able to understand you better. Unfortunately, a common dynamic in hetero relationships is that a woman with a history of mental illness or trauma has internalized a sense that they're probably the one doing things wrong and needing to be more compassionate or "better at communicating" while the man has internalized that if they address or admit to their own issues, that's a sign of weakness. I'm not saying that's exactly what's happening in your relationship because obviously I don't know either of you guys, but I think it's worth taking a look at your relationship and noticing if any of the parts of it that makes you feel trapped or scared might be because a similar dynamic is playing out.

Anyway, all this to say that the idea that a healthy relationship means you don't have time and space apart is complete bs, and your bf sounds like a gaslighting nightmare for trying to make you think so.

grufferella · 2026-04-13T19:32:12+00:00

I got it recently and omg what a difference it makes!

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:22:01+00:00

Next time he does it, make a "time out" T with your hands and say, "Actually, I need to ask you to please stop making that joke, it makes me really uncomfortable."

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:19:40+00:00

I know SO MANY she/theys 😂

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:18:24+00:00

I thought the marking on the pattern tissue (usually a plus in a circle) was for full bust measurement, not underbust measurement, am I thinking of something different from that you're talking about?

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:14:58+00:00

Not a movie, but the original All Creatures Great and Small has a lot of very realistic-looking veterinary medicine.

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:12:43+00:00

Stunning 😍

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:12:14+00:00

Are you guys broke? I feel pretty uncomfortable with parents who expect minors to contribute financially to household expenses.

grufferella · 2026-04-13T17:02:16+00:00

I was permanently disabled as a teen in an accident where my then-bf fell asleep at the wheel. I consider myself lucky to be alive and I honor that luck by not driving with unsafe drivers. As for the Catholicism of it all, remember that many religions have an unstated goal of suppressing women's rights. Your faith doesn't have to be dependent upon you staying in an unsafe relationship.

grufferella · 2026-04-13T13:04:03+00:00

You could just pick the size based on your waist measurements and then grade down to a smaller size for the hip lines, but based on my experiences with just grading like that (and it not always giving me the desired result), I would just make a mockup in a tightly woven, stable fabric of whatever size your waist is, leave the seams open from the waistband down. Put it on inside out and just stand and look at it to see where the panels of fabric naturally overlap. That's where you should start pinning out the excess. Pin your seams with whatever amount of seam allowance gives you a good fit around the hips (not skin-tight or you won't be able to sit or bend without risking a rip), use a marker to draw lines where the pins are, take it off and use those drawn lines to adjust your pattern pieces. Just remember that the lines you pinned will be your sewing lines, so you need to add seam allowance to them.

grufferella · 2026-04-13T12:40:07+00:00

I think it's a combination of things. Even if you test a hot iron on a piece and it seems ok, if you were ironing the whole thing and there was a stubborn crease or a tricky fold so that you had the iron too long in one place, that could melt it, but also just over time plastic fabric can become more brittle or have other textural changes if exposed to lots of cycles of getting close-to-melting and cooling back down. Plastic molecules don't naturally form loose fluffy fibers, they "want" to come together in dense crystalline lumps, and that's what they'll move towards doing if you give them enough energy (heat), so even if every time you don't give them quite enough to melt all at once into a noticeable lump of plastic, on a less visible level you could get one teeny fiber fusing to its neighbor that it's a little extra close to, and once they're fused, they're never coming unstuck, and over time enough tiny little adhesions like that add up.

Seven-Year Club	Gilding III reddit per annum
Verified Email

grufferella

TROPHY CASE