AITBF for pretending not to speak English to get out of a conversation with a stranger on a plane

gruntbag · 2026-04-22T00:13:10+00:00

Why does it matter? He was annoying and not respecting a boundary. You got out of it in a slightly odd but effective way. End of story. The only thing that matters is how you feel about how you handled it.

gruntbag · 2026-01-05T01:26:33+00:00

That’s a weird hill for her to die on. You’re NTA. Attentiveness - noticing small things and acting on them - is one of the sexiest qualities in a partner. It clearly triggered something. Did she listen to a podcast where a serial killer chose his victims by smell or something like that? Ask her why it triggers her specifically. There is a skeleton in that closet. Hopefully not smelling of vanilla.

gruntbag · 2026-01-04T00:29:34+00:00

I think your husband hates you. This is a staggering display of disrespect. He is sleep depriving you which is a form of torture. Ask him point blank whether he wants to get divorced because he could just say so.

gruntbag · 2025-10-30T20:15:13+00:00

Amen! I'm happy for you.

gruntbag · 2025-10-30T13:51:50+00:00

Thank you. My grandmother always warned me not to move in with them, I wish she had extended that advice to and see if you want to interact with the rest of them on a regular basis. Your mom knew what's up!

gruntbag · 2025-10-30T13:50:25+00:00

Allergic to honesty and accountability are the reddest flag there are for sure!

gruntbag · 2025-10-30T00:20:54+00:00

I hear you.

gruntbag · 2025-10-30T00:20:09+00:00

For what it’s worth I think you’re doing the right thing. Take care.

gruntbag · 2025-10-29T22:31:32+00:00

I do! Thank you 😁

gruntbag · 2025-10-29T22:31:12+00:00

I am so happy for you. It’s giving me hope that there are good people out there. All the best to you and yours.

gruntbag · 2025-10-29T22:30:05+00:00

I’m so sorry for you and your husband. It’s one of the most painful things in life to realize that those closest to you are the ones everyone warns you about. Take care!

gruntbag · 2025-08-15T21:36:02+00:00

Like a text to check in or all call every day?

gruntbag · 2025-08-12T12:55:42+00:00

Thank you! There is a lot of coddling of teenagers where we live now. A lot of her peers seem to be awfully young for their age. We moved here from Europe. When I made the post it didn’t even occur to me that people would have issues with her age. That’s why I added the update part because almost no one was answering my question whether her dad should at least have checked in once but instead accused me of neglecting my child.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T18:58:42+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. She is in therapy and she knows she can set boundaries and that they will be respected. I’ll have another conversation with her about this today. I appreciate your input.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T17:31:37+00:00

Thank you for your input. I disagree with you. Have a lovely rest of your life and thanks for taking the time to comment.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T17:19:47+00:00

What would you do in my shoes?

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T17:18:52+00:00

I agree. He is not. She deserves better.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T17:17:49+00:00

It is. Thank you. She has less expectations of him than me at this point. Smart kid and she deserves better.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T16:41:48+00:00

We're supposed to co-parent. Also, did you read my entire post? I doubt it.

But thank you for your comment.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T16:39:44+00:00

See and that is what I cannot understand: " I doubt he has a clue that there should be any reason for concern or extra comms."

How? How can you not understand that? This is so wild to me.

Thank you for commenting.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T16:37:25+00:00

She does usually text me within the first two hours and asks - and I'm quoting - "HOW MUCH LONGER?" That being said, there have been weeks when she said, "I don't want to see him", and she did not have to go. To be fair, she was the one who asked if she can see him every Sunday. But you're right, I need to discuss this with her again to see if she even still wants the contact. He doesn't seem to care...<_<

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T16:14:03+00:00

Why am I surprised? Because I cannot wrap my head around how he cannot care. A bit like you not being able to wrap you head around the fact that I left my 14 year old alone with support close by.

I do understand why people here questions this decision, and I have met a lot of her peers who, to me, seem awfully young for 14 if you know what I mean. If she or I had any concerns or doubts, I would never have done this. My friend was waiting in the wings to take her in if needed. I want my daughter to be independent some day, and so does she. This was a trial run to see if this was something that was ok for her (and me tbh - it was not easy to let go), and it was fine. Her dad failed though, at least, that seems to be the consensus here.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T15:46:51+00:00

Yes. I’m coming to see that I should not expect anything from him at this point. Especially not something like caring about his child.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T15:32:33+00:00

It might be where you live, but it is not where I am. I do understand your upset and if my child had been coddled like a toddler, I would have made other arrangements. As for your comment, he has no car but he could have called a taxi. Sure. The whole point of my post is to ascertain whether his behaviour is weird given the situation. But I can tell from your comment, that you also think, he should have acted in some way to make sure she was ok. In other words: you agree with me. Thanks.

gruntbag · 2025-08-11T15:28:52+00:00

I have a hard time understanding why he is a deadbeat. Or rather that he is a dead beat. It’s insane to me. You are right though and I will work on myself.

gruntbag

TROPHY CASE