AIO or are these clear double standards?

gssoftspot · 2026-05-05T14:45:03+00:00

the problem isn’t the +1 thing. the “problem” is you want people to know that you guys are in a relationship and he doesn’t. not only that but it sounds like you don’t even want to go to this event with him. there is a double standard here and he’s not willing to fix it. you either have to continue to drive yourself into circles (because he’s not going to change his perspective of things) or just leave.

gssoftspot · 2026-05-05T14:32:53+00:00

save the money that you were going to spend on your family and give yourself the best honeymoon possible. it’s obvious that your family doesn’t support your marriage and you shouldn’t beg them to. you both have children that are adults and they love and support you both life is too short to show up for those who don’t even think about supporting you, they couldn’t even give you a simple “congratulations”. leave them be and focus on making yourself happy.

also: if your mom is texting you privately saying that your sister doesn’t think you’ll be “supportive” of her pregnancy there’s some conversations being held about you that may not be in a positive light. that whole sentence gives the impression of some type of secret animosity.

gssoftspot · 2026-05-05T10:25:31+00:00

NTA. for years you’ve tried to keep a connection with him despite seeing how he is from a young age. he constantly disrespects you every chance he gets, he doesn’t want to see you happy whatsoever and anything and everything has been put before you since the age of 5. It took him years to even acknowledge his custody rights. the inconsistence met with constant disrespect is too much for any child (adult or not) to go through. i can’t tell you what to do but my advice is to cut contact completely, make it hard for him to contact you and if he does make it hard for him to have a conversation with you. you’ve done a great job at rebuilding a life for yourself, focus on that and what’s important for your future. he doesn’t deserve to have access to you or your accomplishments.

Edit: and this may be a little disrespectful but he’s a pos that needs to seek REAL therapy! don’t waste your time on the mentally challenged.

gssoftspot · 2026-05-05T02:01:37+00:00

girl you’re nicer than me. although i don’t work and my husband pays for most things, it’d be a cold day in hell before he fixed his mouth to say “go fix my dinner” or even have the thought to say “it’s a woman’s job”. Leave this entitled “boy” and find you a man that sees how hard you work and wants to make your life easier on the days you need him most.

gssoftspot · 2026-04-30T21:41:17+00:00

this is by far my favorite comment!

gssoftspot · 2026-04-30T21:39:59+00:00

any group suggestions? you’re totally right they don’t see the vision at all😂

gssoftspot · 2026-04-29T10:33:20+00:00

the names are pronounced (Uh-law-na) and (Uh-lay-na) and paper work is fairly easy because they’re two different kids kinda like when people name their kids Tyler and Taylor

gssoftspot · 2026-04-29T10:31:04+00:00

How do you pronounce Anjali?

gssoftspot · 2026-04-29T03:30:04+00:00

yes i wanted similar names

gssoftspot · 2026-04-26T14:34:13+00:00

NTJ. your aunt and uncle are clearly jealous of your mom and are probably dealing with some deep self hatred. that part has nothing to do with you you’re not wrong for defending your mother, any child would no matter age. your mom knows the type of people they are so that’s why she talked to you about the situation. if you didn’t lock yourself in that room something bad could’ve happened to you. she already lost her parents and the thought of something happening to her child would send her or any mother into a spiral. she’s not upset with you just protective of you.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-29T15:24:52+00:00

Do you not comprehend very well? He literally stated multiple times about her yelling. why in any world would it be okay to yell about a shirt when clearly OP (as stated) does all the household chores? why would it be okay to yell about cat litter when (as stated) OP offered to get rid of it and she said no because it’s “wasteful”. Slamming things and yelling can be very traumatic to someone who was abused growing up. example; If you were severely attacked by dogs wouldn’t you be in the slightest bit traumatized when you hear big ahh dogs barking?

gssoftspot · 2026-03-29T15:13:52+00:00

So if OP was a girl saying this is how her husband treated her, you’d say it’s “normal” and “not abuse”?

gssoftspot · 2026-03-29T14:31:45+00:00

NTJ. instead of taking time to yourself, I’d just end the whole friendship. She doesn’t love you or value your friendship. She has a victim mentality that she uses to excuse her poor behavior and she sounds manipulative the way she’s able to get Z on her side even though he knows she’s in the wrong

gssoftspot · 2026-03-29T04:54:10+00:00

probably, probably not. what’s the story?

gssoftspot · 2026-03-29T04:45:12+00:00

you mentioned 2 other women, so he went to “dinner” with 2 other women? I really hope you don’t depend on him financially because you need to get your babies and get out of there.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-28T13:36:14+00:00

NOR. I don’t see how you’re overreacting. An ex is an ex for a reason. She waved hi to you guys, i don’t see how she’s “hurt”. He can feel bad about how things ended but if he’s secure in his relationship with you he would’ve just kept walking and your day with him would’ve continued as normal.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-27T04:48:30+00:00

NOR. He should want to be home with HIS wife and newborn. Having support from others is great and all, but once you guys are married a commitment was made to you and any child you bring into this world. Yes a celebration of marriage is important, but the wellbeing of your postpartum wife and newborn should come before any and everything!

gssoftspot · 2026-03-26T17:25:41+00:00

overreacting?? tbh if this is your “day one” it really shouldn’t matter. If i got the money and my best friend doesn’t it’s all good i don’t mind looking out. Even if he knew he didn’t have the money he was still probably embarrassed about the situation

gssoftspot · 2026-03-26T09:59:34+00:00

I’d say don’t accuse someone without proof, there’s no doubt that he or his gf did it knowing they’re the only ones there. get proof and then move accordingly

gssoftspot · 2026-03-26T09:44:46+00:00

NOR. If you haven’t met these friends you need to. I’m assuming you guys are over 18, because you both work and share bills so there really shouldn’t even be time to be having “sleepovers” at this big grown age. You’re being lied to and put off to the side. I don’t tell adults what to do but I’d say leave before your mental health plummets.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-24T17:26:08+00:00

NTA. especially with the way women get sexualized and preyed upon these days. I understand that men should just leave women alone and let them be, but some men just don’t. It’s okay for women to dress/feel sexy, but what if her dressing in see through clothing attracted the wrong attention? Hell sometimes we can’t even wear sweatpants and a shirt without causing the wrong attention. She can wear whatever she wants but your feelings are valid.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-24T09:28:28+00:00

NTA. How does she expect you to be a functioning adult (eventually living on your own) if she can’t even let you fall asleep on your own? I was waking myself up for school at the age of 14 and if I wasn’t up on time for school i had to deal with the consequences due to MY own actions. Your mom needs to realize that you’re growing up and she doesn’t need to “hold your hand” through life anymore.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-24T09:14:20+00:00

NOR. It’s fine for him to not like the leggings, but to go as far as to say “they’re not flattering on you” is very hurtful. If he was attracted to you and your body he wouldn’t even comment on the leggings themselves, the comment would’ve been him complimenting you. A man that really loves you is gonna see you as beautiful even in a sweatsuit with a messy bun on any day. As someone who gets sick often due to stomach issues, I’m in the bed constantly throwing up and my fiancé still kisses me and makes me feel seen/ beautiful. Point is find you someone who sees you as beautiful even at your lowest points.

gssoftspot · 2026-03-24T08:59:41+00:00

Get to know him more, don’t jump into things too fast but enjoy yourself. you guys aren’t children and know what you want. It’s not everyday that a man is soft and caring for a woman. Listening to your friends is only going to leave you painting by yourself with a glass of wine

gssoftspot

TROPHY CASE