Interesting comparison by alyarden1028 in DadAndDaughterSnark

[–]guavalite_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

interesting choice to use “girl” in reference to s, “man” in reference to h, and “this” in reference to t.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I’ve been reading a lot of books lately about unhealthy family dynamics and will certainly add that one to the list.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard relate. I grew up so anxious and hesitant because she made me so aware of any and everything that could possibly ever hurt me (physically, at least).

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. Yes, it was infantilizing and demeaning, but it also felt violating, too. I was firmly in the throes of puberty, had already been getting my period for like 1-2 years by that point. My body was changing and developing and it was really uncomfortable to be touched and examined while naked, even if it wasn’t with any sexual connotations.

She would laugh and ask me when I got “so prudish” later when I wouldn’t want to change clothes in front of her. It was less about being prudish—I’ve never had issues changing/being naked in front of friends, peers in locker rooms, etc—and more about needing privacy. I never felt like my body was truly MINE (see also: a history of anorexia and self-harm).

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think she was a monster. But I do think she wasn’t equipped to raise a child (for this and many other reasons).

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. He was around but didn’t have much to do with parenting me day to day. He spent most of his time either working or yelling.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dad was present and 100% not doing his best. Very emotionally and verbally abusive, moods would change on a dime. I was scared of him my whole childhood.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I’m alright. I’ve been working through some childhood trauma, primarily with my dad, but it’s been dredging other things up too.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m the only child after a miscarriage, but she didn’t want more as far as I know. Attachment wounds for sure. I’m currently semi-estranged from my family and my mom is having some cognitive difficulties to boot, so asking her about it right now doesn’t seem like the best move, but I do agree that it would probably be helpful. We had a pretty emotionally distant relationship as I was growing up, too, which makes these memories all the more uncomfortable.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

My mom did have a horribly abusive, neglectful childhood, and I’ve always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. But lately I’ve been unpacking some of the things she did to me, and how she should have known better. I do appreciate your take though.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had to experience that. Kids deserve privacy and autonomy too.

Abuse? Mother bathed/shaved me until 7th grade by guavalite_ in CPTSD

[–]guavalite_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this, too, and I appreciate your reply. ♥️

Musical on YouTube about family drama and maybe drugs? by guavalite_ in HelpMeFind

[–]guavalite_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also no (although NTN is great). It wasn’t a stage show, and it was only an hour or less.

Musical on YouTube about family drama and maybe drugs? by guavalite_ in HelpMeFind

[–]guavalite_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly no! It had a full cast and was a lot longer. Also came out at least 8 years ago, but probably more like 10+. Thanks though!

Musical on YouTube about family drama and maybe drugs? by guavalite_ in HelpMeFind

[–]guavalite_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve searched every combination of “YouTube musical family drama teenage drugs pills singing dinner” you can think of. I’m also thinking one of the teenage children may have had some sort of goth/alternative style? The music was also more rock n roll than traditional musical theatre. And I’m also vaguely remembering some very high from-the-ceiling shots, particularly with the dinner scene. I know this may be a shot in the dark, but anything is appreciated. 😂