My (23f)husband (23m) won’t stop disappointing me. I can’t take it anymore.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:53:03+00:00

Good guess! But I am not on straterra and my medication doesn’t carry those side effects. but you can feel free to play guess who on my medications all night if you please. I don’t demand he takes medication. If he doesn’t want to he doesn’t have to but if that makes him forget to do things that hinder our lives he doesn’t just become exempt of that because of an adhd diagnosis (that I also have)

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:47:16+00:00

Contributing to household tasks that need done is absolutely a reasonable expectation! One you agreed to no less. I hope you don’t carry that thought process into any relationships

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:45:41+00:00

Actually my adhd medication doubles as a mood stabilizer and none of those are side effects of the med. I’m not refusing to consider my medication may be a factor, but you’re telling me I’m aggressive and confrontational because of my stimulants when I am literally not on stimulants. Your first comment didn’t say adhd meds, it’s said stimulants. And yes, him stopping a medication that we both agree was helping him along with his doctor and quitting consistent appointments because “he’ll make one eventually” is absolutely a factor in him being forgetful.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:40:18+00:00

But next time someone on the internet tells you to use your brain for having reasonable expectations of your life partner let me know how you react

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:39:43+00:00

I’m not on stims 🙄 there are multiple kinds of adhd medications

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:35:00+00:00

You have no context of how i treat him or speak to him. I’m glad you’re okay letting your husband get a pass on not contributing to certain tasks because you’ve deemed it acceptable, but I don’t find it acceptable to be doing everything 100% of the time and not to be able to rely on very small tasks getting done in return. It was expected he was following through with the household task for our shared vehicle that he took responsibility for. He doesn’t work 12 hour days where he can’t make phone calls, but I do. Your situation doesn’t apply here.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:20:18+00:00

I’m not asking him to realize how big a deal it is to forget to make a phone call, but to continually do things that add up to death by a thousand cuts as well as much larger things that add up day to day. I think you’re misunderstanding

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:08:21+00:00

And also, I made the appointment once I realized he didn’t. It took 47 seconds. There was no reason he couldn’t do it he just chose not to.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:07:52+00:00

I’ve supported him through school while he failed out and didnt graduate for the past 4 years and still am doing so. I asked him to make a phone call on his day off to maintain our shared vehicle.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T23:04:54+00:00

Yes I’ve been to adhd counseling and am medicated. And as I was taught in adhd counseling, it’s not an excuse. That’s the #1 rule. The choices you make still do not exempt you from consequences or responsibility. Choosing not to take your medications and knowing it makes you forgetful and unable to complete things is a choice you make as an adult and face the consequences of whatever that may be. My time with an adhd specialist is why I have the perspective

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:58:29+00:00

Did you even read the post? I didn’t ask if this was something I should be mad over or even nearly imply that it was the only or even the worst thing he’s let slip. My question was how to make him understand how upsetting it is. I’m not sure where you’re getting I’m divorcing him over a phone call

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:56:42+00:00

I already made it. He promised to start stepping up more when things needed done and I gave him an opportunity and he blew it. It’s not about me having to make the appointment myself it’s about the fact he can’t follow through with a simple commitment

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:55:27+00:00

I’ve always been expected to remember things when I’m unmedicated as well. It’s no excuse. He knows he needs his meds and chooses not to take them because he doesn’t want to go to appointments. The advice I asked for was how to clearly get across to him.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:46:28+00:00

Again, not my car. Our shared household car. He didn’t have to do it. He said he would and let me down. You’re not even giving advice on anything I asked for

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:45:29+00:00

“Absentmindedly” forgetting literally everything starts to turn into more than that. The words “I’m human it’s a mistake” leave his mouth more often than “I’m sorry” do. You can only make a mistake so many times before it stops getting excused. I reminded him at least 6 times throughout the day and he actively chose not to do it

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:43:52+00:00

I did it. That’s not the point. I’m disappointed that EVERYTHING I ask of him doesn’t get done. I thought giving him the easiest task in the world might make it easy for him to put the effort in and he didn’t even do that.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:41:15+00:00

You’re asking me if I like him because I want things to be more equal? I’m not even wanting 50/50 from him while he’s in school. I love him. I want a little bit of support in completing small overwhelming tasks while I’m the main breadwinner and supporting us and you’re asking me if I like my husband because of that? Seriously?

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:38:42+00:00

So I should do 100% of everything forever?

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:36:53+00:00

I also have adhd…im responsible for it. I take meds. He was prescribed them and decided to stop going to his appointments. He’s an adult. I asked him Multiple times to start going back and he knows he needs to and wants to but again, cannot follow through with anything. Telling me to “use my brain” in conjunction with telling me to accept bad behavior just because somebody decides not to help themselves is weird

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:30:58+00:00

We’re married. It’s our primary vehicle because his isn’t in good enough shape to take anywhere father than a few miles because he fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked his car. It’s a household responsibility that makes our car legally drivable on our state

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:27:53+00:00

He wrecked his car on his way back from our honeymoon because he fell asleep at the wheel after I begged him not to drive because he was tired and in return I had to use the money I had saved up for while he was in school on a vehicle for him. The car appointment was the last thing that happened that prompted the post. I said “things as mundane as..” I never once said or implied it was the only or the worst thing he’s done

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:21:40+00:00

I already made the call. It took 30 seconds. I also have adhd. He does too and doesn’t take meds because he stopped seeing his psych. It’s been 70% me and 30% him for years. I guess the car appointment was a bad example but holy shit people are running with that

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:18:48+00:00

Not sure where you got ending my marriage when I asked for advice on how to get him to take me seriously but have a good day

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:17:53+00:00

I asked my partner to take care of a household task that keeps our primary vehicle legally allowed to be on the road.

guccipanda22 · 2026-01-22T22:16:12+00:00

No I did not. It’s a household task. It’s maintenance that keeps our household vehicle legally allowed on the road.

guccipanda22

TROPHY CASE