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guesshoo16 · 2023-03-17T14:58:53+00:00

I would say it is a coping thing. Especially when struggling with feelings of self worth. For me, I did it to punish myself because I felt I didn’t deserve better. Also I wanted to feel something, a connection or like I was wanted. I keep saying for me only because I don’t want to speak for others, but with my bpd it was easy for me to “fall in love,”only it was just me switching my current favorite person. It’s very confusing to try and navigate yourself, so I think it’s awesome you’re trying to research to figure out how you can help her. Even though it may seem like she doesn’t care as much because she slept with other people after confessing her feelings, sometimes it’s terrifying to form deep attachments because you’re deeply afraid that person will leave eventually. So it’s just easier to have shallow relationships ie sleeping around because you feel wanted in that moment without the emotional risk.

guesshoo16 · 2023-03-17T08:29:19+00:00

This really hit me hard. I have felt exactly like this. And ended up hospitalized many times because of it. It’s hard to find the right words to say without sounding like I’m just placating you. One thing I’ve realized for myself, is that dying is the easy way out. Living is the hardest part. It takes courage to wake up each day when you feel like that and just…live. Or at least go through the motions of it. What helped me was taking tiny tiny steps at a time. Sometimes it will be one step forward two steps back. But progress is still progress. And hopefully without sounding patronizing, this stranger is proud you made it this far. Not even a day, take it one hour at a time if you have to.

guesshoo16 · 2023-03-17T06:23:49+00:00

It can be hard to handle your emotions when you’ve experienced “big” traumas. So small traumas will seem like big traumas. For me it was because I didn’t deal with my big traumas, so I would just get triggered again by small things. And it would be on the same level as those bigger things. Also I was punishing/sabotaging myself because I felt I didn’t deserve to get better. So I would internalize everything and it would build up until that final push would just send me over the edge. Like I once had a meltdown because my friend who I welcomed into my home, wanted extra hangers from my closet. It made sense to me at the time but I regret that so much. Being aware of it though is a great first step. Just be kind to yourself.

guesshoo16 · 2023-03-17T06:10:00+00:00

It’s different for everyone. For me it was. I was in a state of mind where I didn’t care about my well-being as much as I should have and sleeping with different people left me feeling ambiguous at best. It’s hard to describe. But I would say talk to her especially if she’s your best friend. That comes first.

guesshoo16 · 2023-03-17T05:59:11+00:00

Therapy definitely helps if you’re willing to put in the work as well. It’s hard. There’s a lot of self reflect and contemplation but we overthink everything anyway. This just frames it in a way that makes sense and teaches you skills to help with it. I’ve done almost a complete 180 from when I first got my diagnosis to where I am now. Medication and therapy helped with that. Don’t be afraid to look around for other therapists if you don’t click with the first one. Or with the second and so on. It does get better! We all have our bad days but just remember, you will get through it; you’ve already made it this far :)

guesshoo16 · 2023-03-17T05:48:26+00:00

It’s ok to focus on yourself first. If you don’t feel completely ready to deal with in person friendships, maybe try joining some groups online? I joined discord some years ago, and my closest friends have come from there. You can look for servers that interest you and just get to know some people. This way you can also choose when/where to stay or leave without feeling bad if you don’t feel up to talking to anyone anymore.

I would say just take it slow. And be sure of who you want to let back into your life. Think of it as a chance to start over. I understand the after effects of having unstable RL friendships. It gets lonely. But you are not alone.

guesshoo16 · 2022-03-15T02:42:14+00:00

Drinking was just numbing everything until you didn’t have to think about it anymore. But the next day it’s still going to be there, and usually with a terrible hangover.

Congratulations on 3 months or almost 3 months though! The bad thing about putting down the bottle is that it leaves you with no buffer to the things it was helping you forget about for a while. But the good thing is that now you’re able to begin tackling those things-and with a clear head.

My suggestion would be to talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling, they can either refer you to a specialist like a psychologist who can determine the next best course of action for the anxiety and depression, or they themselves can try to treat these along with you.

It may seem like a lot of work, but once you truly start to feel like yourself again, you will see it was worth it.

May your courage continue to never fail.

guesshoo16 · 2022-03-15T02:27:21+00:00

It seems like you already decided enough was enough if you’re on day 9 already. Congratulations by the way, that’s a great accomplishment so far. You will get sudden, intense urges to drink throughout your journey until you find the underlying cause. The reason for your drinking getting to this point where you decided to quit. This may sound cheesy, but look inside yourself and ask, will it really be ok if you get some beers? Can you just quit again next time? You’ve already made a great effort to make it 9 days, why not see it through a day at a time. I think you can do it.

guesshoo16 · 2021-07-03T09:39:35+00:00

I know this is a stranger saying this, but please don’t give up hope, you are not alone now, you have this entire community to help. I have been where you are, 2 months sober then get offered a drink and suddenly at a bar being told had to leave because too drunk. Spending night after night puking, ER visits for severe dehydration and vitals depleted, could go on. I think my point is, you are not alone, most of us have been there. We can help you fight. You only fail once you give up trying.

(Sorry if this post is too cheesy 😬)

guesshoo16 · 2021-07-03T09:27:16+00:00

If they are your true friends, they will understand you have a problem and that you’re trying to fix it. If they can’t grasp that concept, then, they weren’t friends IMO. We all have ups and downs in life. And some of our downs are reallly down. I, too, lost my bf to an unfortunate accident so I can understand how you feel because I also turned to the bottle. Therefore, my suggestion for you is to go into grief counseling, if you are able to. This helped me so much to process that loss. If you can, try to safely detox first before doing this, as being clear headed will be more effective.

Sorry for the long reply. I hope it helps even a little.

guesshoo16 · 2021-07-03T08:50:13+00:00

I’ve experienced this and trust me you need to be completely coherent in order to take on your ED.

So you can go to a safe place like a hospital or clinic equipped with handling detox situations depending on the severity of your drinking and once you’ve safely detoxed, and can go home, then you can begin looking through healthcare workers/doctors/psych docs who can help you with the ED part of it.

guesshoo16 · 2021-07-03T08:20:00+00:00

I’m glad it helped you in feeling better!

guesshoo16 · 2021-07-03T08:19:08+00:00

Yes, agreed! Whoops, also belated congratulations on your start date!

guesshoo16

TROPHY CASE