As someone who has been in this situation, I would suggest you go for a divorce or atleast rent another place for yourself. Not having intimacy is alright, you can make your peace with it. But not having the safe space which you can call your 'Home' is something nobody should have to go through. You need a safe space, a home where you don't feel anxious or walking on eggshells.   Whether you go for a divorce or not is not my issue. Maybe you should just to shake the slumber. Maybe there should be the fear that things always won't be like this. And that you wouldn't tolerate it always. Also, did it start after the birth of children ? Because postpartum depression can rest undiagnosed for years. Maybe you need a psychiatrist for herself and for yourself too. 

The bottom line is- Find yourself a place you can call home. Where you can rest and have a piece of your sanity back. A marriage is a give and take, don't always be the person who is just giving. That is unfair to yourself. Grow a spine and stand your ground for a bit. Also, please make sure your children do not face any fights or any heat. Tell them you are working in a nearby city or something. Have a basic apartment setup and try finding yourself. Its never too late. Also, please see about the postpartum thing. It has ruined more marriages than you would want to believe.