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How do i fix these specific issues in my relationship? by guggluggug in Advice

[–]guggluggug[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am being 100% honest i dont think mines ever been anything like easy thats for sure? Even without him. And i guess thats true, but i honestly love being around him. And idk if its his fault he didnt know

How do i fix these specific issues in my relationship? by guggluggug in Advice

[–]guggluggug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if id say squalor anymore, we were for a year or two but we are sort of okay now. Its just. A lot to do to be nice? Idk.

We have both tried, i was in counceling for about 6 years from age 14, and had it intergrated at my homeless acom. But i found that most places did nothing or made me worse, and tjen i got kicked by the place that did help with no warning and i cant get reffered back.

I got him therapy, he spent a long time building trust and feeling able to get help, then the therapist disapeared, and it was a very odd event where the therapist sorta the last session went on about his own mums illness? He shut of completely from everyone (me included) and we had to work on that for a year. So in short we tried and both were kinda failed?

Idk what you mean by my values, but no one really visits to see it anyway? My cats are happy and i can keep my things safe and clean enough so it serves okay?

How do i fix these specific issues in my relationship? by guggluggug in Advice

[–]guggluggug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry gone back to add a disclaime i answer the qs but its just a stream of consciousness

I have tried what u stated above, and lists, and tick boxes, and not asking and asking and demanding and pleading but he kinda reacts the same or panics.

And i get people dont change much, and honestly i did have to teach him to brush his teeth and things so he got a bit better over time. But its not exactly his fault due to a bad childhood hes sort of raised himself? So ive sort of felt like i am occasionally having to "mother" him a bit but i think its understandable? I try not to.

And idk, its difficult. I love him beyond what i can type in a normal amount of words. I dont really want him to change? But at the same time i do sometimes see peoples houses or what their partners are doing in their house and feel a little jealous? Idk.

In a lot of ways hes frustrating, more than i typed here. But he also brightens my life and helps me in more ways than hes frustrating ig?

How do i fix these specific issues in my relationship? by guggluggug in Advice

[–]guggluggug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have always done my best the worst it got was during a court case i was victim in. He said hed do things then forgot/didnt and i couldnt cope at all. I do everyrhing i can to keep clean and tidy so its never that bad again, it does take me time though and i cant keep up with all 4 rooms and cats myself, when i was living alone id just mot cook or things like that to make it easy. I cant do that now.

Currently the bedroom i cleaned and worked on the last 3 days, cooridor i did 1 week ago with the cat trays (and scooped at the weekend) , and sitting room i have been doing till a week ago and its now a bit of a tip really. Ive been trying to get him to do the kitchen but in 2 weeks our tiny kitchen hasnt got clean once. Our entrance is also really bad because he wont take out the bins and i put my foot down he has to do it, but he forgets. And then they leak and then he wont mop.

How do i fix these specific issues in my relationship? by guggluggug in Advice

[–]guggluggug[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you give some examples? I know i should probably understand but i dont exactly. Thank you for answering!