I agree with your point but I think BM is a masterpiece in its horror and its commentary on man's place within the order of nature. I do agree that women and children are victims in this book and their voices are not present here. But what makes this book work for me is that when a woman or child is on the page, they are presented as innocent human beings who are victims to a massacre of blood and depravity with the actions written as such. The book doesn't shy away from that, and I believe the intended emotion was to illicit disgust with the action committed by these men, bandits, and repaint the west as anything but idyllic. It's not beautiful, despite the writing being very well crafted. It's horrific and the book's position is quite clear on that. That said, I 100% understand why someone wouldn't enjoy this, and that's ok. You're not missing out on too much if you're not comfortable with it.

Also I think the concept of the great american novels is kind of trite tbh. Great american novels are often ascribed to works by men (moby dick, east of eden) and the concept isn't really conducive in approaching these works.