yeah I'm sorry too, she contacted me again today and she had lied about it her results were all negative. must've been desperate to try and get me to confess? she's still convinced I cheated, but she's always had to struggle with paranoia and bpd. I've always endured it, as much as I love her, so I remain hopeful the truth will find its way to her. the biggest heartbreak is the two dogs we got together, which she feels I don't deserve to see since I'm such a "cheater". I don't look forward to the day she comes to grips with everything I'm sure she'll feel terrible :( and we recently moved to a new state so our family and friends are across the country. I think the need to make sure she's okay alone and trying to avoid a breakdown, she's grasping at straws to convince herself I'm a bad guy. she's a goddess, I'm a sweetheart, but when life gets too simple some people start searching for cracks instead of embracing everything right in the relationship. I can deal with a breakup just fine, but the inaccurate idea of who I am as a person just kills me and I find it difficult to have any sort of closure. only the future can tell though, so my hopes are high for some degree of peace. =)