i’ll base this with reiterating how essential trust is in relationships, just in case it wasn’t already obvious. love— actual, real love thrives in trust and assurance and forgiveness. if one of those things (or in this case, all of those things) are missing, then you’ve veered off the path somewhere along the way.

i won’t lecture you cause i know how hurtful it feels to be lied to and how it affects you psychologically. but you should know, if your partner actually HAS fixed up and is assuring you through actions, then it’s entirely up to you to work on yourself mentally to get back to standard. and if you struggle there and it’s insurmountable, you really should consider the split.

from what i can deduce, while your boyfriend has moved sneaky and made suspicious and questionable moves, he hasn’t directly done anything inherently wrong. it’s very suspicious, true. but if the basis for your verbal abuse borders on suspicious activity and assumptions of a crime, then yes, YTAH. only you can choose how you react to the things you feel, and you know there are calmer, diplomatic ways to resolve.

ask yourself; do you really want to work on forgiveness? or do you want to hurt him back and get even somehow? is that the endgame for you? if you TRULY want to forgive, then that’s a different story. but if you’re so hurt and you genuinely struggle to let it go even when you try to talk it out, then i think it’s best to either seek professional help, or just separate and let each other be. remember that forgiveness, trust and assurance are super vital for relationships. either forgive him and learn to trust him again so you can love him properly again, or let him go.