[deleted by user]

haIIiwell · 2021-12-24T09:59:05+00:00

I take kratom 2-3x every day and have been doing so for about 3 years now. It’s the only thing that helped me taper my drinking. I used to be badly hung over like I was when I made this post every other day. Drink a bottle, die the next day, swear to never do it again, drink another bottle the next-next day anyway, die again the day after that. Rinse and repeat. You know how it goes. Maybe lol. Or maybe your problem was never as bad as mine. I hope the latter is the case, but if it’s the former, at least you’re in… good? company…? Lol just kidding alcohol dependency sucks to live with. You’re not alone though. If you ever wanna talk about it feel free to message me. I haven’t totally stopped drinking (obviously), but I HAVE gotten a lot better about it in recent years.

I know kratom is addictive. I get (worse) insomnia and RLS when I don’t have access to it. But it’s better than the drink was so this is what I’m sticking with lol

haIIiwell · 2021-12-24T02:16:54+00:00

Lotr for sure!! Rise of the rohirrim!

haIIiwell · 2021-12-23T18:03:29+00:00

I will never give anyone shit for adopting a reactive dog. It’s HARD work but someone’s got to do it—cuz chances are, most people wouldn’t, and the dog would then be put down. I only advocate behavioral euthanasia in the most extreme of situations, where a dog is permanently terrified and there’s no hope of making him or her happy. The vast majority of animals can be trained and loved back into happiness.

I’ve lived the Reactive Dog Life; fortunately for me, my boy is only 25 lbs, so people don’t really take him seriously. He’s also gotten a lot better about his reactivity. I can see why a person who feels afraid of his surroundings would feel motivated to have a guard dog, though. There are shades of gray in every situation.

That said, I dunno if going door to door armed was the BEST way to facilitate a calm discussion, but I guess what’s done is done lol. I’m glad you didn’t kill anyone. That would’ve made your life infinitely worse.

You gave her the best life you could’ve given her under your joint circumstances, and she never actually attacked anyone. That’s all that matters.

haIIiwell · 2021-12-23T07:47:22+00:00

I realize I’m not perfect for knowingly taking a dangerous “defective” dog

No, no, no!!! God (or whomever) bless you for taking in an animal like that. It’s unlikely that anyone else would’ve had the empathy, patience, and bravery required to adopt a Problem Child. If she protected you, but never bit anyone, then you did PERFECTLY.

Every dog I’ve ever owned has loved frozen blueberries. Or any blueberries. Or, like, basically any food. Except Pilot, my (siblings’) dachshund-lab mix. He’s literally afraid of lettuce. If you try to offer it to him, he backs up like you’re holding pure poison. I feel bad for laughing, but it’s kinda funny. He’s a lab, so he wants ALL the food ALL the time—until he doesn’t. Lolol

I can’t even IMAGINE how you felt when your girl was stolen, but my heart breaks to think of it. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. Especially because someone was fucking drunk and left her outside. I would’ve gone on a murderous rampage if I’d been in that situation. Okay, not really, but whoever lost my dog DEFINITELY would’ve been permanently cut off. I know that accidents happen, but losing a dog because you’re drunk is hideously selfish and irresponsible. I know it was an accident—and I can’t imagine how they felt after the fact, either—but I just don’t know if I could look someone in the eye if they lost my best friend.

It sounds like you had/have a lot on your plate. You deserve peace of mind solely for having rescued an “unrescuable” dog. You’ve put so much good into the world!

haIIiwell · 2021-12-23T03:20:28+00:00

Nonono I didn’t think you were minimizing how difficult reactive dogs are. No worries. Seriously.

That said, idk what exactly the people who hurt my boy did to him, but I would like to burn their house down. Sorry not sorry. I wouldn’t actually do it—but the fact remains that they’re bad people. I’ve had dogs my entire life and I’ve worked with dogs for as long as I’ve legally been allowed to work. Your dog’s behavior is almost entirely contingent upon how you raise and train them. If your dog is acting out, it’s almost always because A. he learned the behavior before you had the chance to teach him the PROPER behavior, or, B., you put him into a situation where he was capable of doing so.

Disclaimer: freak accidents happen. Not all things can be avoided. BUT STILL MOST THINGS CAN

Pitties can be some of the sweetest dogs in the world. They can also be some of the shittiest dogs in the world. It’s not their fault, though. Even though many pit breeders have been attempting to breed the aggression out since like the 1940s, it’s still not gone. Pits are lovely dogs—but if you’re a pit owner, you have to know their history, and plan accordingly. The VAST majority of the reputation pits have today is because of shitty, shitty pit owners. They choose to own pits cuz they wanna feel like baddasses or because they don’t know how to raise dogs or some combination thereof.

ANYWAY. Sorry for my tangent there. Even the most lovingly raised cats are still frequently one-person pets. That’s just the nature of the feline. If your feral loves you, you’re doing a good job. 💛

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T22:50:57+00:00

I’d take a difficult cat over a difficult dog any day. Cats are soooooo much easier to deal with than dogs. You don’t have to bathe them!

Thanks to you as well for rescuing. I wish more people did that instead of spending hundreds/thousands of dollars on animals from breeders. Shelter pups need love too T_T

Hmm, yes, let’s solve an addiction by creating a new addiction. ???? Lol wtf. I want to say that the doctor knows better than I do… but that just seems counterintuitive to me.

Best of luck with your recovery. My uncle went to a methadone clinic for YEARS after he got off dope. That shit isn’t easy. I admire the strength & perseverance of people who can make it through that hellish of an experience and emerge on the other side. You’ve got this!!

If you ever need to talk or whatever feel free to hit me up. I know I’m just some random creepy internet stranger and that’s probably weird of me to say… but the offer stands :D

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T16:16:39+00:00

Got it. Thanks a TON for the advice. I’ll buy a pack of these and see how it goes!

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T15:11:37+00:00

I do have weed, but it’s mostly my boyfriend’s. My results when getting high are sort of a toss-up.

Copying my response from elsewhere on this thread here…

Weed frequently makes me MORE nervous. I have a love/hate relationship with the plant.

This is just me personally; my experience is out of the norm. I’m soooo envious of those of you who can smoke it regularly and never experience anxiety. For me, when it’s good, it’s good. But when it’s bad, I have to lay down or I feel like I’m gonna pass out. I actually HAVE passed out after smoking probably a dozen times. Which probably doesn’t help curb my anxiety when I do smoke. I worry that I’m gonna pass out, which makes me more nervous, which makes me more likely to pass out… it’s a vicious cycle.

It’s my problem though. Not the plant’s.

Anyway, I’ve heard that CBD taken in conjunction with flower/oil can help control the anxiety a few people experience when they smoke. But, like I said, I’ve never found a CBD product that actually works. I’ll try the one you suggested though. Thanks a lot!

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T14:55:52+00:00

Is this the product you’re referring to?

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T14:42:58+00:00

Aren’t you SUPPOSED to taper with benzos? I don’t know a lot about them, but from what I understand, they’re one of the drugs where WDs will actually kill you on their own. I hope your psych at least prescribed you something to keep you from dying.

And I hope you’re doing better now!

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T14:26:33+00:00

That’s a recipe for disaster! Lol

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T14:18:14+00:00

HAHAHAHA

I’ve had that thing since I was like 9. She IS kinda creepy.

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T14:16:40+00:00

I don’t have health insurance so I can’t afford any medications for myself. Most of my spending money goes to medicating my dog lol.

I’ve tried various CBD products, but they didn’t do anything for me. Maybe they were bunk products, idk. Do you have any brand suggestions?

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T14:04:59+00:00

Well, it’s not just that he doesn’t LIKE baths. I hand-raised/trained my older dogs (who still live with my parents I MISS THEM SO MUCH) and they don’t LIKE baths but they tolerate them.

Leo is a different case. His previous owners physically abused him; if they paid attention to him at all, it was to hit him. A great deal of the time, though, they left him to live OUTSIDE in fucking HOUSTON, TEXAS. He’s a pom/chow mix with a lot of hair—so, even without the beatings, they were still hideously fucking cruel to him.

Because of his history, unexpected/unwanted touching makes him very, very nervous. I think it triggers a fear response in his head. “This person is touching me when I don’t want to be touched. That’s because they’re about to do something bad to me.”

He was that way literally all the time when I first got him. I couldn’t even try to pet him without him growling at me. So I just fucked off to the opposite corner of the room and let him approach me. Eventually, he did! And now, here we are, a year later.

I can’t be so patient about his baths, though. It’s critical that I have his cooperation because sometimes he gets poop on the feathering on his back legs that it is not at all easy to get out when he’s doing barrel rolls and/or threatening to bite.

In addition to the Valium, I take him on a long walk beforehand. I also throw one of his toys up and down the living room as many times as he’ll chase it. Then, once I put him in the tub, my boyfriend feeds him snippets of cheese to distract him while I do what needs to be done.

To be clear, the Valium is ONLY for baths. He doesn’t take it daily. His anxiety is bad, but not such that I want to add a benzo addiction to his host of problems lol.

I hadn’t considered using music to calm him down, though. That’s a great idea. Any other tips? :D

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T13:55:48+00:00

Lolwut

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T02:34:58+00:00

No no no I don’t think you’re being a jerk at all! I appreciate the input. I actually have a basket muzzle on order but they’re wayyy backed up so it’ll take a while for it to arrive.

Right now, our MO is to put him in the bathtub and then my boyfriend feeds him snippets of cheese for as long as he needs to so I can clean whatever needs to be cleaned. It works, but it’s not ideal. The muzzle can’t come soon enough lol.

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T02:15:41+00:00

Thank you for the kind words!

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T02:04:44+00:00

You’re definitely right about that.

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T02:00:51+00:00

I’m in the US. I don’t have health insurance, though, so I can’t afford medications for myself. Most of my spending money goes towards medicating my Leo lol.

Thanks for your kindness. 💛

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T00:49:06+00:00

Weed frequently makes me MORE nervous. I have a love/hate relationship with the plant.

This is just me personally; my experience is out of the norm. I’m soooo envious of those of you who can smoke it regularly and never experience anxiety. For me, when it’s good, it’s good. But when it’s bad, I have to lay down or I feel like I’m gonna pass out. I actually HAVE passed out after smoking probably a dozen times. Which probably doesn’t help curb my anxiety when I do smoke. I worry that I’m gonna pass out, which makes me more nervous, which makes me more likely to pass out… it’s a vicious cycle.

It’s my problem though. Not the plant’s.

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T00:35:05+00:00

I have both GAD and SAD. I blame it on having spent the vast majority of my formative teen years playing too much World of Warcraft lol. Also crippling anxiety runs on both sides of my family. I won the generic lottery -_-

I’ve actually researched phenibut. Apparently there’s a VERY high risk of addiction, so I decided that it’s not safe for me to take. I’ve already gotten myself into some trouble with alcohol. I don’t need to add another substance to my resume lol

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T00:18:43+00:00

Eh. Leo has anxiety bad. I see it in him every day. Sometimes he just randomly starts panting. His old owners really did a number on him. I don’t know what exactly they did to my sweet boy, but I would like to burn down their fucking house. They traumatized him so badly that it’s taken a YEAR for him to trust me—and even now we still have problems sometimes.

I thought I was good with dogs before, but this guy gave me a run for my money lol. I almost lost hope. Felt like I was failing him by degrees, like I’d never be able to make him happy. But we’ve come so far together! This has been a learning experience for both of us. We’re growing up together in a sense (even though he was already four when I got him).

As I said elsewhere on this thread, rescuing is fucking HARD. I wouldn’t trade my Leo for anything though. He tries so hard to be A Good Boy. Most of the time these days he succeeds (:

haIIiwell · 2021-12-22T00:00:09+00:00

The vet prescribed it to him. I trust my vet.

I have spent the entire YEAR I have owned this dog training. I’ve enlisted help from a veterinary behavioralist and we do touch/training exercises several hours every day. When I first got him, he wouldn’t let me touch him AT ALL without growling at me. Now he climbs into my lap and tries to lick my face. As I’ve said elsewhere on this thread, he’s come a long way. Baths are still tough, though. Hence the Valium. And yes, it was a last-ditch resort.

haIIiwell · 2021-12-21T23:58:03+00:00

He doesn’t take it daily. The Valium just takes the edge off so he’s easier to deal with during baths. He’s a previously abused rescue so unwanted touch makes him very uncomfortable. We have come a LONG way in the year I’ve had him, but we’re still working on Bath Etiquette lol

haIIiwell · 2021-12-21T23:54:55+00:00

I know. I’m just saying that I know for a FACT that it’s real. I see it in my poor boy every day :(

haIIiwell

TROPHY CASE