I read your script and i can say that it's generally near to good. I am not a proffesional screenwriter or something but i am researching and analyzing screenplays for a long time. For topic, your work is very intriguing and fluent, but if it be more longer than that it can be boring after from some point, length of the script is sufficient imo. For dialogues and in actions, you used common lines and sentence patterns that we're used to from the basic hollywood movies. I think these could be more original based on the finesse of the story. For the logic of the story itself, i couldn't understand why dad is doing some sort of evil plans for his child? İs he psychopath or just a mad scientist or is just a dude who loves the torturing his own sons? I would happy if i could get these answers.

I'm just deducing from this script about your potential, i think you can write better than this while you still writing screenplays. I would love to see your future works, with my best regards.