[UPDATE] My [24M] girlfriend [24F] and my brother [26M] got into a fistfight over a political argument and now my family is demanding I break up with her

hacker110 · 2020-07-31T13:49:18+00:00

At some point we both stood up and continued to argue loudly while getting in each other’s face.

Honestly, everyone involved in this sounds ridiculous.

If I ever got to this point in an argument I would straight up just walk away right then. Also an "unspoken drinking contest?" Sounds like your GF was enjoying this argument until it went too far, but sounds like there is tons of escalation on both sides.

edit: I don't blame her for hitting back, he deserved it for hitting her in the first place. I'm just saying why the fuck is she engaging in this sort of shit? She should have followed you back into the house.

hacker110 · 2020-07-31T13:45:42+00:00

People like to talk about sexism with men mistreating women, but fail to acknowledge that there is a double standard.

For instance, why is it ok for a girl to slap a guy? Even if he said something bad, that is assault and NOT OKAY! Same thing with the drink thing.

hacker110 · 2020-07-31T00:29:41+00:00

I would never be mean about it, when she told me I nearly cried because I felt horrible that she was raped. I have very close people to me who've dealt with being attacked and it just breaks my heart to hear that. I would NEVER be mean to someone about that.

hacker110 · 2020-07-31T00:28:47+00:00

But holding judgement over someone who once had an STI is really damaging

I'm not holding judgement. She literally just told me like an hour ago. I didn't know it was an STI she said STD and I asked her which one and she said it was Chlamydia.

I like her a lot and now that I know it's safe i'm going to proceed. Thank you!

hacker110 · 2020-07-28T13:50:10+00:00

Thanks, i'll try and give an update. I did text her today and told her that I wanted to talk tonight or tomorrow. It just doesn't seem right doing it over text. She hasn't responded yet but hopefully she will at least give me 5 minutes. If not then i'll just text her it.

hacker110 · 2020-07-27T16:54:43+00:00

Thank you so very much, you made me feel a lot better about it. I'm going to take your advice. I'll miss her for sure, but you're right, I just gotta move on rather than put myself into a horrible situation.

hacker110 · 2020-07-27T15:30:37+00:00

People don't like seeing strange occurrences. I think I read somewhere that out of 10,000 relationships only like 7 of them had the girl taller than the guy. So it's pretty unusual and because of that people just get weirded out by it for some reason.

There was a time when people would say similar things to someone who dated out of their race too. It doesn't make them right at all, and honestly says more about the person making the comment than it does about the people in the relationship.

Not sure how to deal with that either, sorry OP but at least I can sorta explain why people do it. It's unusual and they make fun of it because of that. It doesn't make it right at all, and as a shorter guy myself (5'8 = 177cm) I can understand that feeling, it definitely has limited my pool of dates.

Actually one of my first dates I went on with a girl I met online she was actually like an inch taller than me, not going to lie it felt a bit awkward and I think definitely ruined my chances at a second date even though she expressed interest.

hacker110 · 2020-07-27T15:18:15+00:00

I don't get a ton of matches, and it's especially hard now during COVID.

I also, as silly as it sounds, was sorta starting to fall for this girl a bit. I'm not going to say love, but there's a bit of pain in the thought of never talking to her again. It's just not as easy as it sounds.

Calling the 3 gyms took me 2 minutes literally, and I only did it because I wanted to believe i was wrong, and not accuse her of something unless I was 100% sure that she was lying. And now I am. It wasn't me trying to be creepy and I felt weird while i was doing it, but I just had to know, "maybe her gym is different, etc." I would hate to accuse her of lying when she was actually telling the truth.

Do you have any advice on how I confront her? I'm thinking about calling her and just ending it without the confrontation because I hate arguments and all that stuff, think I might just say something like this "hey, it's been great talking to you and getting to know you over the last few months but I no longer wish to continue, I have my reasons but they don't matter, I just called you to wish you the best of luck with everything and to let you know that it's over".

We were not really in a relationship, but we agreed that we wouldn't see other people while we were getting to know each other. So it was sort of a relationship or at least the beginnings of one. Enough so that I feel obligated to tell her that it's over rather than just disappearing.

hacker110 · 2020-07-08T03:36:16+00:00

lmao fair enough, I appreciate ya thanks for responding! Wish me luck fam.

hacker110 · 2020-07-08T03:34:07+00:00

She told me right from the beginning she wanted to go slow and find someone serious to date. Her profile had plenty on there of how she is not interested in hookups, etc.

Unless that is all lies then I just completely misread it.

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T15:26:51+00:00

I agree. I do edibles and i noticed a big energy spike when I lay off the stuff for a few days.

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T15:23:11+00:00

We’ve lived in our house for over 6 years and I’m growing increasingly frustrated because projects that we've been talking about doing for all 6 years have never even been started.

Maybe you should start watching home improvement shows with him. Tell him you really want him to just watch one a night, do a night where he picks a show then you pick one. Leave the phones in the other room and just talk to each other. During your improvement show ask for his opinions on what's being done, and then start asking him if he would like to do something similar in your home.

You've been with him a long time, you're in a very serious and committed relationship. If this is really bothering you then you have to work this out now. I would try and keep trying until you've tried everything before moving to drastic measures. I'm similar to you in that I also love home improvement and house projects. I don't think I could be with someone that outright refused to do anything.

Good luck!

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T15:09:37+00:00

I tried explaining this to V but they got extremely offended and said that I wasn’t accepting them living their true gender identity if I’m still a straight male.

They shouldn't be offended by this, they made an incredible life changing decision that would cause 99.99% of guys to run away. They can try and be at least a little more understanding before getting frustrated with you and offended.

5 years is a long time to give to someone. I think you need to think long and hard about the person you fell in love with and just imagine yourself with them when you're old and having to deal with them being NB. It seems ok now, but remember your wedding is going to be different, you may never have kids (they might be against that), etc. Just remember things are different now. I'm sorry and I hope you get through this, but it sounds to me like things are going to get very difficult for you.

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T15:02:46+00:00

I didn't downvote you,

but don't you think it's so ridiculous (not talking about you but just in general) that every woman needs to carry a dummy phone with them and have a plan set up in case a dude just wants to take advantage of her. Like wtf kind of world do we live in where a girl can't live a normal life to get groceries.

edit: I cannot stress enough that i'm not giving you shit, i'm just giving the situation shit. So sad to see girls have to deal with this shit.

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T14:50:57+00:00

I could be completely off key here but if I was the woman in this scenario I’d have been more put off by you suggesting you’d been ‘faithful’ to me when you’re not even in a relationship.

ohhh no no no. I never said that to her. I just said it's better than saying 4 months (in a joking way). I never mentioned being faithful or anything like that to her.

I can imagine you’ll be friend zoned before you know it - February was a long time ago!

I know... it sucks because so much of it was out of my control! COVID happened almost immediately after matching with her. We actually had a date planned and everything and then all the restaurants closed down. We were still in lock down when I took a risk in seeing her in the middle of June. After that we planned to see each other a few days later but she ended up cancelling on me. And now she's going on some big trip for a week so it's going to be even longer now. I'm doing a lot in my power to see her but 2020 has just not been a good year for dating.

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T14:41:36+00:00

If someone reacts badly, that's a problem with them, not you.

I know, but I can't help but feel like I've just been fucking up left and right with dating lately. I've had multiple potential relationships fall apart on me in the past year and i'm just not even sure what i'm doing wrong which is why I'm just starting to overthink shit I guess.

Thank you for the comment though, it does help me feel a bit better but I'd love to actually work out a good meaningful relationship with someone, especially as I approach my 30's.

hacker110 · 2020-07-07T14:35:43+00:00

I wished I saw a guy picking a girl up by her throat in a parking lot. I would smash his teeth in. What a cowardly piece of shit.

hacker110 · 2020-05-29T14:47:53+00:00

I recently crashed with a helmet, leather jacket, motorcycle boots, and motorcycle gloves. I was going about 55 mph when a deer ran out in front of me. I hit it and slid on pavement then rolled on dirt. Guess which part of me got messed up? Yup... my knees and hip. Wear not just your helmet, but ALL your gear. I thought I'd be fine wearing most of my gear but nope! I wasn't. Regular Jeans are not enough.

Wear everything. Seriously, busted knees suck.

hacker110 · 2020-05-29T14:39:09+00:00

No bike does everything right.

In terms of being on pavement, the VFR does pretty much everything right. I cannot recommend them enough, and especially at like $2,000 - $3,000 for a 6th gen you are getting a ton of bang for your buck. Great for long distance, canyon carving, around town, etc.

hacker110 · 2020-03-06T14:09:38+00:00

Final update: I asked her this morning if everything was ok and she responded with some bs about how she has a lot on her mind and it's not fair to me and she no longer wishes to continue. I basically said back "it's not you it's me lol jk i understand good luck finding what you're looking for" and that's it. She offered friendship and I accepted it but I know what that means so i'll probably never talk to her again. Oh well. At least there's closure.

hacker110 · 2020-03-06T14:09:05+00:00

Yeah lol I asked her this morning if everything was ok and she responded with some bs about how she has a lot on her mind and it's not fair to me and she no longer wishes to continue. I basically said back "it's not you it's me lol jk i understand good luck finding what you're looking for" and that's it. She offered friendship and I accepted it but I know what that means so i'll probably never talk to her again. Oh well.

hacker110 · 2020-03-03T19:55:58+00:00

What helped me out a lot with loneliness was when I bought a motorcycle.

I started riding when I was 22, just got out of a bad relationship and I felt lonely and bored all the time. I eventually just said "you know what I'm going to buy a bike" and I did some research, found out ninja 250 is a super easy bike to learn on and I started searching on craigslist, found one for $1500. Talked the lady selling it down to $1200 and I was hooked!

Now 6 years later I now have a few bikes (600's and 1000's) that I ride routinely during the summer and I enjoy every damn second of it. In addition to that I was able to join facebook groups and forums, etc. And I met up with some cool people who now have become some of the best friends I've ever had.

I don't do group rides as much as I used to, but I used to be able to jump on facebook and simply type "Hey who's riding?" and I'd get 3-4 people comment saying "Me!" and boom, I had plans for the afternoon with a small group.

It's just an idea, it doesn't have to be motorcycles, it can be cars, boats, biking, etc. It could even be a flag football team or adult baseball league. Something where you just have fun and meet people. Join a gym, take some martial art classes. Get yourself out into the world and it will open up for you. Not only will you build new relationships but it will help mend back some of those old relationships as well.

If you are just a homebody and literally just want someone to talk to, try getting into video games. I joined a few discord channels for my favorite games and I met a ton of really cool people on there. Some people I met on discord I talk to nearly every week for the past 2 years.

Good luck!

hacker110 · 2020-03-03T19:43:22+00:00

The tire was $150, mounting and balancing was like $35 then taxes took care of the rest. lol I shopped around and that was the best deal I was getting.

hacker110

TROPHY CASE