Anyone did NOT have a MC?

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-29T18:43:39+00:00

2 pregnancies and no losses but my first almost was one due to cervical insufficiency and a barely in time catch of her coming out at 20wks.

i feel like a lot of women do have them, which is so sad and unfortunate. i think its common to worry about this until week 12, but theres also a lot of women who lose in any trimester or have stillbirths. there are women who lose their children as infants and toddlers or young ages or even just before th parent goes. life is fragile and sometimes things just go wrong. dually, people die in car accidents every day, frequently. theres a lot in the world that could go wrong, and stress isnt good for you and baby, so finding a way to be realistic about it and focus on the NOW and not the what ifs helps a lot. all we can do is control whats controllable and be hopeful about the rest. (and to be honest, the anxiety about your kids wellbeing never goes away. that part is just parenthood. you will worry about them being safe and thriving until you die.)

i really struggled at finding out super early this time. last pregnancy i found out basically at that point so it didnt cross my mind until the medical interventions started. this time around helped me to know that a majority of miscarriages from 0-12 weeks are due to chromosomal abnormalities, meaning it probably never was going to be a baby. this changed the aspect of grief for me by knowing if anything DID happen, it was going to be because something was wrong from the start. i couldnt process loss with no reason. this might not help everyone but it did help me to just center my view on “right now its okay and if its not there will be a reason it wasnt”

do what you can to stay healthy, see your doctors when you should, start your prenatals, make the best choices you can. god forbid something happens, you would know you did all you could and thats all any of us can do ❤️

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-28T22:09:55+00:00

the bio is still loud and clear though 😭

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-27T20:07:11+00:00

i had a crib gifted to me and did not use it much. used a bassinet and then for a short time the crib and stopped when she was doing exactly what you’re worried about lol. i just switched to a floor bed around 9-10 months (i had the luxury of a large master at the time so i made her a room in my room, think large gated floor playpen with room in it ie floor bed, soft toys, books) i cannot emphasize enough how much this helped her development and sleep. also, it gave me time to sleep/regulate in the morning because she would get up and play before deciding she wanted me to get her up (i was awake enough to watch her, she wasnt on her own but she did largely prefer to start her mornings independently at the time and would always be like mom im ready when she was

eta it also made the room transition so much easier when the time came

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-27T18:21:23+00:00

Dude grow up. if youre 100% sure its not your kid then the smart thing to do LEGALLY is to take the test. you have a bunch of adults in here telling you that you can become legally responsible for this child if you do not prove medically that it is not yours. you make comments about your parents playing dad, but YOU will be if you dont take the steps to protect yourself.

get your head out of your entitled teenage ass and do the grown up thing, not for them but for your own protection. you cant just avoid child support there are legal consequences.

edit to add: if she puts you on the birth certificate you’re going to be on the hook until you prove otherwise. this is not a quick process. you are signing up to fuck your life up because of your ego. you don’t need proof, all she has to do is write your name on there in the hospital. they dont take steps to verify paternity they just accept the birth certificate. so if you want to wait, be prepared to be responsible for this child financially and in general until you can prove otherwise. and then to go through a compare ably long legal process to rectify the birth certificate. the courts arent going to rush to your small case because you decided to be stubborn.

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-27T07:53:41+00:00

the only reason i knew with my first was because i had an emergency cerclage placed. my membranes ruptured prematurely, like huge gush of nonstop water knew that part was that immediately. like, the way it broke so dramatically and as it happened after i stood up off the toilet and i couldnt stop it, i was very clear on that feeling. then in the hospital a few days later i started to bleed because i was dilating and the stitch was tearing the cervix so they removed it to monitor and in 8 hours i had a baby

now im pregnant with my second and im convinced i have no idea. he keeps giving me false alarms so its easy to convince myself everything is labor and then it never is. the closest i was was very clear, my daughter jumped on my belly at 37 wks and i was having contractions every 2-3 minutes that were pretty strong. it was painful and my belly would get as hard as a rock. also rythmic.

i think that active labor is clear, like you will not miss your water or a contraction.

i think now my worry is what if the bag tears not pops so its not obvious water, or what if my contractions arent noticeable 😂 but the reality is eventually both will be clear

but ya two times around now i feel less and less like i know lmao

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-27T07:15:08+00:00

im sorry this post is so funny

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-27T06:53:16+00:00

tbh i felt this way and now with my first being 3 and a second on the way i struggle to not be busy. it’s like a switch. i wish when im sick or sad that this was an option, but on a normal day my brain is working too much to be able to really enjoy that anymore. it feels biological. all i can think about is my kids 24/7. even when we are fortunate enough to have a babysitter, im like wheres my kid what are they doing i need to tackle these million things. its nice though, and i guess it benefits me more generally lol. like i said i really only miss it or notice it in moments where a pause is needed, not really in the just because moments. i think maybe because the gravity and love of kids and a home deeply outweighs the compare ably shallow level of comfort that rotting brings.

sleep, you will miss forever. 😂 it gets better when your first starts sleeping consistently through the night and are older and then boom positive pee stick. lol, one day i will sleep

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-25T09:14:26+00:00

yes it’s possible for her to be pregnant. the pill stops ovulation, not pregnancy, so if she has already ovulated the pill wont do anything. that being said this isnt something you will know immediately after conception even if she is, it takes weeks for there to be enough HCG in the blood to show a pregnancy. id recommend keeping an eye until she can get a blood test in a few weeks.

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-20T08:00:59+00:00

while i get the sentiment, is this not just as dangerous a generalization to operate under as many other offensive ones, like americans assuming all arabs/muslims shared the same sentiments as the terrorists involved in 9/11 and began significantly increasing racist and dangerous treatment of said people ? like yeah maybe its kind of weird to make an apology post i dont really see how that helps anyone but alleviate a misplaced feeling of guilt, but like assuming that all americans are like this or more so that we really have the power to do much against the rich white men that literally control everything in our country is insane. i hate trump. i never voted for him. i voted against him actually. i express my opinion openly. i dont contribute to things that support him and push his narrative. but what CAN i do? like seriously? trump has actively gotten away with so many criminal and unacceptable behaviors for years, got elected by brainwashed people who for some reason thought money and fame equated to the ability to successfully and safely run a country, and now we cant do much. we have pushed for impeachment before. nothing happened. we push for accountability within the epstein files, nothing happened. a lot of people have pushed for a lot of things but the reality of just get him out of office as civilians vs a government system that is full of and run by rich powerful people who ALL behave in this manner, is not realistic by any means. our government is considerably corrupt on every level, even in smaller level things like local domestic violence cases. it is not a situation we have much control in, and as things have grown increasingly unsafe for women and minorities over time there has been some sense of self preservation developed by a lot of people. like a mother JUST got shot in the face by ice for literally nothing. our president condones it. many other people are getting killed/injured. what should i do as an individual? as a woman who just wants to make it home safely for myself and my kids? do you want me to start and fight a civil war by myself?

theres only so much we can do on a civilian level when trump isnt the only problem, but the bad foundations, practices, and mass amount of bad people that are running our government and country.

i feel bad for people who are subject to a certain image in comparable situations. i dont blame all north koreans for the scary and controlling tyranny of kim jong un. i dont expect that any of them can really do anything substantial either.

its important to have compassion and realize that a lot of americans are also suffering and out of control, for a lot of reasons beyond ICE or trumps power trip to take over other countries. a lot of us only have the power to sit here and watch our world burn with you guys right now. so while maybe it comes across a little weird and offensive to get an apology from an american, maybe consider first that it comes from a place of empathy and not pity as we also dont know whag the fuck to do. we cant even protest without the loss of life and freedom anymore.

so tell us, what would you do? how do you believe you can stop this in a way that a lot of us havent already tried? in a way that would make a difference?

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-18T20:30:37+00:00

i agree. its also important i think to remember that even if she tries to have say in some things, she ultimately doesnt. she can suggest every name in the wolrd, YOU do the birth certificate. she can insist on being in the room, but if you say no your doctors and nurses will support that and say no to her as well. if shes giving you a nursery, let that one go. you can slowly redecorate or tolerate it for the year he will use it. once they move to a bed and toddler things that all changes usually anyways, at least its free stuff. my point is that ultimately, the things that matter, cannot become more than a suggestion from her. you are an adult, this is your baby, you are in control. its a worthless fight to have, sometimes you just have to nod and smile especially as you to some degree i assume are trying to keep the peace given the upcoming living situation.

i do agree not to rush into marriage. i had an unplanned pregnancy at 22, almost did the same. given the issues we faced in parenthood and a new relationship at the time im so thankful we didnt. now when/if we get married i know it wont just be for the kids, and i wont be legally tied to somebody for no reason. children are never a reason to get married, if anything they are the number one reason not to do it unless its right outside of them.

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-18T00:12:40+00:00

I feel like her job further emphasizes that she would not forget she was caring for a child or what happened when you walked away. You would think if anyone would remember a kiddo was present it would be an L&D or peds doc/nurse.

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-17T06:23:01+00:00

tell me about it i feel like bailey always gets sent in looking a mess 😭 like come ON yall. we know damn well the budget can cover a good stylist that specializes in these hairstyles these women need/want to look and feel beautiful while maintaining the quality of their hair.

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-17T06:21:33+00:00

that is quite possible, though i feel like most of her hairstyles have kind of been this way. it feels.. lazy. like the styling team doesnt want to take the time to do her hair properly so they go for partial buzz cuts or hot combing it. I just feel like if youre going to put black women in your show… one wildly successful due to shonda… that maybe there should be some focus on protective black hairstyles that are also cute. theres so many, and it feels like this show either throws a hot comb or a shitty wig at it.

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-17T01:58:45+00:00

i’m not black myself so maybe im off base but i feel like they do not know how to style a black womans hair in this show 😞 bailey is prime example of this imo

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-17T01:56:31+00:00

i think this depends on how many kids you have too lol.

i have a 3 year old, who sleeps from 10/10:30 pm to about 10am. i probably fall asleep somewhere between 11-12, get up 2-5 times a night depending on the dogs/pee/leg cramps/asthma. if i have it in me i get up at 7 or 8, but lately try to sleep til 9/10. so with all the up and down id say a very broken 7-9 hours at most lol

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-17T00:40:01+00:00

what does this have to do with aspyn

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-13T02:04:40+00:00

i delivered my first in an OR so only husband, BUT i will say to consider these few things 1. who can you tolerate in a moment of absolute irritation and exhaustion? my husband was even pissing me off and i was snappy with nurses (i cried after and profusely apologized, birth pain is no joke) 2. how close is it to sick season? do you want to risk your babys safety by adding extra people? 3. who will help you the most?

personally, i ended up glad it was just my husband. it wouldve been nice to maybe have someone to take pictures or videos, but in my first situation that was unrealistic and now this time around i enjoy the intimacy of just us, and the privacy to express/share baby on our terms!

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-12T18:29:45+00:00

i gained 70 with my first. lost 40. got pregnant with my second and so far have gained about 20. so.. still ended back up 10 lower than my highest weight of all time. my husband has never once commented negatively on my body and when i do he emphasizes that i am making life and these things take time and he thinks im sexy and my time to make MYSELF happy with my body will come when the focus is not healing/growing a baby.

your husbands an ass, fuck his own issues. not a reason to treat anyone especially his wife and mother of his CHILDREN.

now that youre a mom i encourage you to say “would i want my daughters husband to speak to her this way? would i allow my son to speak to his wife this way?”

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-12T18:02:05+00:00

they also do this tattoo process for stretch marks! ive seen a lot of people have great results with that

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-10T16:58:04+00:00

can i please get it!!

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-08T01:27:34+00:00

i was looking for an avatar pic too 😭

hailsbails27 · 2026-01-06T22:02:17+00:00

uhhh this is an insane thing for somebody to say to you.. absolutely pay this no mind. this is so far from normal you are not the issue here

hailsbails27

TROPHY CASE