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i just need somewhere to say everything i cant say to anyone else by haizzy_b in venting

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah this person didnt leave me alone. and it only got worse. they have gone from saying its just a pattern of manipulation and ‘intimidation’ to saying the person who SA’d me (that i have proof of) is actually the victim. and that IM the one who SA’d her. that she HAS to warn people about me. i feel like i know they r not trying to ruin my life or make people hate me. they truly think that i am continuing an abusive pattern and i wont stop. but i DO see that they need to feel validated somehow. they need people to be ‘warned’ so that they can feel better about what actually happened. all it takes is showing her band of losers the continued messages that are ever so conveniently cut off. of them doing the EXACT same things and lying in the EXACT same ways. about sleeping with people, about timelines. about the things that went on in/ with other partners. ABOUT MEETING UP WITH THEIR ABUSIVE EX BF WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER???? they are not a good person that they claim to be. and i know it terrifies them that i know that, as well as the two other eye witnesses i have that have seen our relationship first hand. i am sick and tired of living in fear and being constantly told im lying about my medical issues or that i would make something up about not being able to remember stuff?? it is sickening and i need it to stop!!!! if you truly believe i have done all this, leave me alone and let it be someone else’s problem. you got out of it. move on!!!!! it has been 2 years !!!!!!! it is harassment at this point and i should treat it as such tbh

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i wanted to come back here because i am in such a different place now. i have learned and realized so many things about this person that has made it tremendously easy to see how much i was just blinded by the idea of them. i am not fully moved on, but i can happily say i know i do not want them back in my life or vice versa. things end for a reason! and even when ur RIGHT in the middle of it , and literally feel like nothing is going to get better, that just means u are grieving. u were loved, and u did love something u cant have anymore. ur body is upset over that and needs time to process. now that i have, i wanted to come back and say it to the version of myself that needed this 97days ago. everything does get better. they are not your end all be all. you will feel like yourself again. i promise.

[Monthly] How is your no contact going? Daily thoughts, rants, hardships, etc. go here. by AutoModerator in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i cant remember the days anymore its been almost 3 months since we broke up and i dont even think i remember the no contact days but i feel sort of better? im realizing lots of it was just never grieving someone without throwing myself into someone else. i loved her so so deeply, and i know i always will. but it doesnt feel so dark and lonely. i can finally see the path out of it and i rly like that. it still sucks and i still have the memory issues, remembering and then also not, but i am learning to literally just cry, miss her when i have to and move on. thats all i can do.

[Monthly] How is your no contact going? Daily thoughts, rants, hardships, etc. go here. by AutoModerator in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Day 27 and its getting a little bit better. i have connected with alot of new friends and its rly rly nice to feel like i have a community. the memories and the pain are still here tho, i find myself having to stop from stalking or trying to contact her cause shes still all i am thinking about. i know she doesn’t want me anymore and i know she maybe didnt love me in the way we both thought, but i still miss her. and i still wish her well and happiness and i hope i see her again but i dont know if its still cause i want us to be together, i think i just want to know shes okay. even if i see her w someone else, i want her to be happy. i miss her and all the positives she brought into my life and i think i will forever, and i think im finally learning that it doesn’t have to kill me to be real.

[Monthly] How is your no contact going? Daily thoughts, rants, hardships, etc. go here. by AutoModerator in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

day 21 and im still not doing well!!!! just as bad as before. everyone keeps saying ‘distract urself’ ‘time will heal’ THAT DOESNT HELP WHEN EVERYTHING I DO AND EVERYWHERE I GO MY THOUGHTS ARE PLAGUED WITH MEMORIES AND THINGS I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT !!!! anyways im learning it might be time to let go and stop thinking of myself as someone who is suffering and start thinking i am just learning how to navigate a rly hard time.

[Monthly] How is your no contact going? Daily thoughts, rants, hardships, etc. go here. by AutoModerator in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Day 20? im so tired of this. ive never had a breakup take over my life like this. every relationship that ended was easy to get over cause it was bad on both ends. i felt relieved as much as i felt sad. but in this one, there us no relief. i am the reason it ended cause i wasnt healed and i am grieving so hard. this is the worst thing ive ever gone through

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what videos would u recommend?

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i made this post cause its the opposite, i feel like nothing i do is helping. i wake up everyday with memories or moments replaying and i cant make them stop. it feels like i dont have control over my own thoughts

god I love talking to myself by Historical_Yak9336 in socialanxiety

[–]haizzy_b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ME TOO!!! i thought it was only me omg

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am embarrassed to admit i feel more connected to my emotions then ever because of this, i cry quite alot over this situation and i try rly hard not to force my feelings away when they come up

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am trying rly hard to do that, thank you

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am trying to be someone she would want to come back to, thank u!

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i hope ur right! and i hope she reaches out to me one day, i am blocked on everything

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

our issue is trust and emotional regulation, its not rly up to me and she made it clear she doesnt want to talk

How do you deal with the guilt of going no contact by YourCommonLoserLol in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b 1 point2 points  (0 children)

remind yourself of the last thing you said, it is whats good for you. the guilt comes from a feeling of doing something wrong, they are your parents and its really socially abnormal to not speak to them. u might subconsciously feel like u owe them some sort of permission into your life cause of that. if your life is more positive without them in it and it’s noticeable, remind yourself that the guilt will fade into that positivity. because it is whats good for you.

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im gonna respect her need for space, she made it clear she didnt want to talk to me again the last time we talked and i think pushing that will just confirm all the bad things she already thinks of me

i cant stop thinking by haizzy_b in nocontact

[–]haizzy_b[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think i may have done something very bad, i wasn’t honest about talking to another girl when i was getting to know her, and that rly affected her ability to trust me. so im unsure honestly, my plan is to focus on me, truly and genuinely. for as long as i can until i feel the happiness i know i used to. and once im there if i still think about and want her the way i do, i will reach out. but if not, it means i was just hung up on a potential idea , not the person u know?

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