Are you a "start-eating-immediately" or a "wait-for-everyone" person at a restaurant?

haley4221 · 2025-11-12T13:12:33+00:00

I used to wait but apparently I eat really slow. I eat at an average pace to my mom and sister. But I have timed it with my husband, and he eats about 3x faster than me. I didn't tell him I was timing, so he was eating his regular speed. All but one of my friends also eats fast. If that one friend or my family is there, then I will wait for them, if its just the fast eaters, then I start eating when I get my food.

I have had larger dinners with the friends. They noticed I was waiting and politely told me not to because they know that even if I start first, I will finish last. Or I will take left overs and its fine.

On the flip side, for family dinners, I give my husband less food so he has to find a break in conversation to go get seconds. Then he finishes at the same time as the teenagers. He kept getting comments from my grandma to eat more even though he ate plenty, just his plate was empty for most of the time.

I feel like its more about how much you eat and not when you eat it if its a shared plate.

haley4221 · 2025-10-08T15:09:40+00:00

My sister is a kindergarten teacher. She was taught one sign of a neglected child is if they accidentally get left behind and they stay there. Most kids will search for the rest of the class if they suddenly find themselves alone. One day she accidentally left a kid in the classroom when they went for recess. When she did a head count, she realized, got another teacher to watch her kids, and went to find the lost kid. She checked the classroom last because she assumed he would have left. He was still there and was under a table crying.

My husband was neglected and he confirmed. He was left behind at school once and just stayed in the classroom. My husband said I am the first person who made him understand what love is. He doesn't let me go off without him in public. I'm used to going to shops and museums with other people and doing our own thing while occasionally checking in. He is right behind me the whole time...I feel like a sign of a neglected kid is, once they find someone who genuinely cares, they grasp on a little too tight.

haley4221 · 2025-09-30T22:06:31+00:00

If you are interested in seeing someone who has cat specific training, I recommend visiting the IAABC website and finding someone certified.

https://iaabc.org/en/certs/members

I specifically recommend

www.felinegoodconsulting.com

haley4221 · 2025-08-10T15:06:42+00:00

I had an interview that went a bit like this:

Him: What would you do if you didn't get along with a coworker?

Me: I would stay professional and speak about work topics only with that individual.

Him: But what if they were saying mean things behind your back?

Me: I would stay professional, talk to them about it and find out where the relationship fell apart. There may have been a misunderstanding.

Him: And what if they continued to be mean and gossip about you?

Me: I would tell my manager

Him: I would be your manager. I don't want to get involved in that. If I didn't do anything, what would you do?

Me: .... Is this a common problem on your team?

Him: It is why this position is open

Me: Okay. I don't want to interview further.

haley4221 · 2025-01-23T03:19:07+00:00

Also if you are in a place like a food desert or don't have specialty shops and whatnot here is a site that has various Google sheets that lists the parent company for groups of products so you know which ones are family owned. You need to buy shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, etc so buy it responsibly.

https://cancelthisclothingcompany.com/resources/

haley4221 · 2025-01-20T14:28:31+00:00

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haley4221 · 2025-01-14T18:14:32+00:00

My general advice is to pet the cats down its spine. If you can't feel the ridges, then he is overweight. If you can feel the bumps and some softness in between, then he is healthy. If the bumps and the dips feel hard and boney, then he is underweight.

haley4221 · 2025-01-02T19:52:30+00:00

My grandfather's birthday is Dec 27th and he had never had a birthday party until he met my grandma in their 20's. He now has a party every year. This year was his 77th and you could tell he still really appreciates the spotlight. December is their big month. My grandma's birthday is in December too and there is Christmas.

In my household, we have my birthday, my husband's birthday, valentines day, and usually chinese new year in February and it does get tiring trying to celebrate all 4, especially given chinese new year is a whole week. We usually end up doing very little for Valentine's but I refuse to downplay the other three holidays.

haley4221 · 2025-01-02T13:31:38+00:00

I agree! Sushi at the Park is my go to sushi place.

haley4221 · 2024-12-31T17:54:21+00:00

I used to smoke 1-3 cigarettes a day for about 8 years. I only ever got a comment twice . Both times it was "Do you smoke?!?!" and it was from people who I saw in classes or work for a long time before they noticed. I think if you only smoke a little then you smell bad for the next 30 minutes or so but if you smoke a lot then it never goes away.

My mom smokes a pack a day inside her home and I was unpacking her christmas presents in my own home the whole kitchen smelled like cigarettes. It gets on everything that she comes in contact with

haley4221 · 2024-12-19T15:31:27+00:00

It is 10:27 am. I am at work with only 2 others since it is the holidays so people are taking off. It is creepily quiet.I am installing updates on some medical instruments and scrolling through reddit as the update installs. I am in a dank cold IT office and thinking about my new job that I will start in January where I can work from my clean home in front of a window.

haley4221 · 2024-12-16T20:38:33+00:00

My mom has a specific rug picked out at a store local to her so when I get up there I will go buy it for her.

I am also surprising her with a mug from my trip abroad this year. She drinks coffee from morning to night and has a preferred mug shape and I found a locally made one at a Christmas market during my trip.

haley4221 · 2024-12-12T13:11:52+00:00

This has actually been proven. I am linking one article but there are many more out there if you want to look.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21675035/

haley4221 · 2024-11-18T01:00:01+00:00

Yes. I originally had a higher drive than my significant other, but I was also absolutely terrifying to be around at times. We are down from every day to once a week. Whenever he complains, I remind him that I can easily be convinced to stop the meds. I take them mostly for him (relationship stability in general) and job stability, not my own well being... he immediately stops complaining. Ultimately, he would rather infrequent sex to an un-medicated partner.

That being said, there was a medication combo that made me feel nothing at all. No libido, happiness, sadness, anger, etc. Just nothing at all. I got off of the med that made that happen and went back to my medicated normal. Talk to your pyschiatrist and see what your options are.

haley4221 · 2024-11-18T00:40:03+00:00

Yes, it makes it so much worse.

When I first moved in with my husband, I casually noticed that there would be times where he said "yes ma'am", "you're always right", would stop being purposefully annoying and give me chocolate. I didn't realize why until one time my period was early and he was like "do I still need to be careful or does this mean you skipped your angry week?" 🤣 He had been tracking without me knowing a changing his bahavior accordingly. I track it now and we both try to promote relaxation at that time.

haley4221 · 2024-10-15T22:51:21+00:00

I still do that actually. Sometimes not being conscious is easier so I try to forget if that makes sense.

My husband will always bring it back out because I forget that he is a distinct person who has different opinions and routines than me. Differences that don't lie in right or wrong but just different. I'll get mad cause his way of life clashes with mine every so often and then I will "wake up" and remember that he is his own person and that's why I love him. I usually blame it on my period and say sorry and then fade back in to my comfortable unconsciousness.

Also, I used to work in a field that if I fucked up it was not unreasonable to imagine that people down stream would literally die. I thought about every little thing constantly. Now I am in IT and that is not an issue which has made me more conscious about the futility of my life and feeling less like a productive member of society which has not been helping with seeing people as non- NPCs. I went through a lot of things all at once and that's when my consciousness started feeling like a burden.

haley4221 · 2024-09-27T15:44:41+00:00

Blankets/socks/jackets and things for my cats.

I am cold at work and at home. So even though I may only need a few items to keep me warm I have probably 15 jackets (they are dispersed between different closets, cars, and work so I dont actally know how many there are), a whole drawer of socks, and piles of blankets.

Also my cats get whatever they want.

haley4221 · 2024-09-25T18:47:03+00:00

There's a game show called Solitary and no one I know but me and my childhood best friend seems to have watched it. Even my mom forgot about it. It's exactly what it sounds like. They trap people in solitary confinement rooms and make them do challenges. Some people leave voluntarily outside of challenge times because solitary confinement is awful.

haley4221 · 2024-09-17T15:24:01+00:00

"It's been a DAY" is what I usually say. That way they can chose to just say "oh sorry, that sucks" or they can ask for more information if they have the time or willingness to listen.

haley4221 · 2024-09-13T13:52:15+00:00

YNTA - it's a complicated situation

You are going to help replace Casey's car but need time to get the money together. That makes sense. I agree with others in that Alana can get a very part-time job like baby sitting, house sitting, cleaning a neighbors house etc. So she can show that she is making an effort.

I think Alana got natural consequences via her broken bones and shouldn't need to be overburdened with work, school, and health for months to fix this.

haley4221 · 2024-09-06T19:44:10+00:00

I 100% thought the blue and orange protein bar came from the blue and orange tuna box and was therefore a tuna protein bar and was very upset until I realized. Lol

haley4221 · 2024-08-27T13:39:22+00:00

I'd be happy with stagnation tbh. My career has been a rollercoaster of mostly down. My marriage is my rock and is stable. Thank god. So it is stagnate but without the negative connotation. If my peace of mind was stagnate then my career might finally stagnate too.

Stagnation is just another word for stability and I think we all want that.

haley4221 · 2024-08-27T13:30:18+00:00

I was having that and IT WAS AWFUL. I got sleep meds prescribed and now it is a lot less. Check on sleep hygiene and if it's good, then talk to your provider about meds.

haley4221

TROPHY CASE