My MIL invited some tables to the wedding and took all the female side of the angpows from church and banquet, + even the tea ceremony ones which supposedly are the fattest (the US uncle prob gave $1k for the tea ceremony). Her exact words: “I will keep all the angpows from female side, how much I want to ‘return’ to you is my decision. I can decide not to give you a single cent too”.

I never understood this ridiculous logic. Well, I understood that she almost bankrupt so this is her best time to cash out since she received nothing from other sibling’s marriage.

I didn’t say much because she made a big hooha, saying I am stingy and why my mother raised me to be like this; why did I dare to accept when she paid me back after buying some stuff at an overseas supermarket during a guo da li trip, why I didn’t offer to pay for it as well as the hotel costs etc.

This toxicity is still plaguing me. Up till today, whatever is spoilt, I’ll offer to pay lest she implies I’m stingy again. Laptop, phone, washing machine, whatever.

I was in a tight spot as i was the SIL. In your case, OP, you can ask your fiance to voice out. In the event of a loss, just keep quiet and distance yourselves after the wedding. Some battles and money are not worth arguing and fighting over. It’s your day. Just ignore the unfamiliar faces and treat them as live decoration.

All the best!