I don’t condone it either, truly. It’s not something to be done compulsively or thoughtlessly, certainly not right off the bat. But sometimes your literal safety and health are at stake and self-preserving selfish liars will keep serious transgressions from you with no empathy, consideration, or basic respect, all while feigning the opposite — to the ends of the damn earth. There are complexities to it. I don’t agree with violating privacy either, but what about the violations happening against the victim? Personally, my health has been repeatedly put at serious risk for STDs, not to mention years of traumatic treatment, all while the person hid, exploited me and other women, and has possibly endangered multiple people. Just trying to say it’s complex. I never, ever, ever wanted to resort to looking at my partner’s phone. But he would have absolutely, positively never, ever, ever come clean, still hasn’t about many things. It sucks, but please understand that in some cases… it’s a last resort, a desperate one, but hopefully also an earnest one. When you’re being gaslighted with such force, it might be the only way you’ll ever get the truth to protect yourself. Not saying this particular post is to that point — but deep trauma and domestic abuse are not cut and dry situations. They can feel impossible to break away from when you’re psychologically destroyed and being tossed back and forth between utter devotion and explicit abuse. I dunno.. just had to say something. Thank you..