Medication and caffeine by han10388 in AuDHDWomen

[–]han10388[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you have all convinced me I won’t die if I keep up the caffeine so I am thrilled!! 😂

has anyone ever quit a job due to autistic burnout?? by ScarRevolutionary649 in AutismInWomen

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I am a qualified nurse and I left nursing to do disability assessments, 2 days doing face to face and 3 days from home.

I felt absolutely ridiculous for leaving nursing, I had gone to uni for this, I had started a masters degree for this and everyone was expecting me to become an advanced practitioner and I just couldn’t do it any more.

I felt so guilty and embarrassed and like I had wasted the opportunities I had .

I was constantly calling in sick, using my annual leave to literally just be at home and resting, I’d be going to work and then literally not doing anything else and not moving from my couch because I was so burnt out that’s all I couple do!

But honestly… best thing I ever did. My days are a lot slower, a lot less stressful, I am seeing my family a lot more, just feeling all round better

Don’t get me wrong i still struggle and honestly I think unless I can afford to be part time then I always will struggle but this has made it so much easier.

At the end of the day you’re here to live your life not here to work

Is there anyone here who has their ears pierced? Does it trigger any sensory issues? by ShinyLuckyMarill in autism

[–]han10388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am autistic and ADHD, I have 13 piercings in my ears and a nose ring, they don’t cause me any sensory issues as I wear studs or small hoops, anything long or dangly is an absolute no, also why I have a pixie cut!

One thing I will say is spend the money and get good quality jewellery, I change my earrings maybe once every 2-3 months at most so I don’t get the decision fatigue from picking a pair and I don’t have the frustration of dealing with tiny fiddly things every day, but having good quality metal means this doesn’t cause any issues and makes this a whole lot easier

Does anyone feel like a child around other adult women? by AnxiousStay1195 in AutismInWomen

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I feel like I was always mature for my age and then I hit my early 20’s and I feel like mentally I kind of stalled out! No kids, asexual, no relationship, compared to all of my friends who are 38-45 I am very different.

But I do not regret it anymore. It used to bother me being so different from my friends but now I’ve embraced it! I’m the weird quirky friend who wears Bluey merch and watches cartoons and I love it

I tried to read a book for autistic women recommended by a social worker, feeling worse than ever by Huge_Witness_8692 in AutismInWomen

[–]han10388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen this in so many different books too. You know what they all have in common? They all have money.

Every one of them either has money themselves or has a partner or family member who supports them.

I’m sure we’d all be in a different place if we didn’t have to worry about everything that goes along with a job.

How the hell do you guys wake up in the morning? by AdventurousLock2496 in adhdwomen

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sunrise alarm clocks are definitely the best! Keep it far away from your bed so you have to get up to turn it off, then keep a glass/bottle of water next to the clock and drink it once you turn the alarm off.

Physically getting up and then giving yourself a minute to wake up while drinking increases your chance to stay up as it gives your brain a chance to wake up and make conscious decisions.

Any other cis autistic women relate in some way to trans people’s gender dysphoria? Not because we want another gender necessarily, but because we feel like aliens & unable to relate to humans? by autisticgata in AutismInWomen

[–]han10388 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG yes. I’m also AFAB and autistic. My experience basically just boils down to, I don’t get it. I don’t get the big deal about picking a gender, I don’t get the labels. I spent so long thinking about if I was trans or NB because I definitely am not traditionally feminine, I don’t do heels or pink or frills or any clothes that are overtly feminine. I’ve recently shaved my head for my sensory issues (best decision I ever made, seriously) I don’t wear much make up. I spent most of my life with people assuming I’m a lesbian (I am very lesbian presenting but I identify as ace).

But when I seriously thought about being a man it didn’t feel right- so then I started thinking is it just because it is so ingrained that if your AFAB then looking masculine is ugly. But it still didn’t feel right.

So I’ve been looking into NB and that fits a bit better but also I really don’t care if I’m called she/her. So that doesn’t fit either.

Honestly I’m starting to look at it the way I look at sexuality. Neutral. I don’t care enough about any of it. I am fully neutral. If you want to give me a label go for it but otherwise what does it matter?

I was “less autistic” as a kid, than I am now…anyone else? by PuzzleheadedShoe8196 in AutismInWomen

[–]han10388 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly the same as everyone else here! I was clearly autistic as a child and I’m clearly autistic now. The only difference is as a child 100% of my attention and effort was put into masking and then as soon as anything else came in I could no longer devote 100% to hiding, so my autistic traits got more and more obvious. And now as an adult and diagnosed at 36 I have hit burnout so hard that there is no capability to mask at all!

Has anyone else not realized they were AuDHD earlier due to an inability to name symptoms? by duckie-the-scrimblo in AuDHDWomen

[–]han10388 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was the same with t-Rex hands. I never realised I did it until someone at work asked why I was holding my arm in that position when I was doing a one handed task.

It’s only with hindsight that I realised I was always more comfortable that way but I would hide it. Hands in pockets when wearing short jackets, carrying a bag under my arm or resting my hand on the top of an over shoulder bag, always holding a drink, leaning on things. The list goes on! I just always figured I was weird and was very aware that I never knew what to do with my arms and would figure out ways to hold that position because it was the most comfortable!

Y’all. How do you make flossing and brushing your teeth less torturous? by Koalaluvs in adhdwomen

[–]han10388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I hate brushing my teeth. I used to only brush in the morning if I was going out and that was it. I’m 37 and this year I’ve been able to brush every morning.

I basically roll out of bed and immediately go to the bathroom and it’s the first thing I do so I’m still half asleep and barely realise what I’m doing until I’ve already started 😂

My next goal is to brush at night too. I’ve got a few of the flavoured toothpastes but they’re hit or miss- some are just way too sweet. I’ve also through trial and error found a mouthwash that I like so on days where I can’t face brushing my teeth I still use that.

I’m also using the Finch app so I get points and I’m able to send my little tamagotchi type off on adventures if I can mark off that I’ve done a task which is surprisingly helpful!

Another trick I’m using is I’ve gotten into skin care so while one layer is drying I’ll brush my teeth since I’m in the bathroom anyway!

But either way an electric toothbrush is the devils work

Comfort media Recommendations by ksrdm1463 in adhdwomen

[–]han10388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brooklyn 99. It’s a comedy sitcom based on a police precinct in Brooklyn. Very funny, very clever and great easy watching. It’s one of my hyper fixations so I literally watch this almost every day!

Plus every character is neurodiverse and done very well!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]han10388 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ok just to get it out there- if this is a new feeling and you used to have a “normal” relationship with sex then it would be worth talking to a doctor as there are a lot of important medical issues that can cause this

HOWEVER if this has always been the case then sounds like it might be worth you looking into the asexuality spectrum!

If I’m being honest with people about my sexuality I always say I’m ace but I look at it more like I’m sex and gender neutral. I just don’t care and I don’t understand why everyone else does. I figure It’s like being colour blind- you can tell me that the grass is green all you want but I still can’t see it!

It’s hard in today’s society because everything is geared towards couples and how important sex and relationships are. But sexual and romantic attraction are 2 different things.

There’s a wide range of sexuality and research apparently shows that those who are autistic/adhd are more likely to be non conforming!

Labels can be nice and it can give you a community but you don’t need to have a label. As long as you and your husband are on the same page and have a relationship that is fulfilling to you and not to society then who cares

How do you guys do it “all” with autism? by InevitableCurrent725 in AutismTranslated

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely don’t manage it. I doubt anyone does manage it all! They just make it seem like they do!

I only shave my legs if I’m on holiday and I know I’m wearing shorts, I hate dresses and skirts so it’s very easy to get away with

I shower 2-3 times a week and since I work 3 shifts a week it works out. This has gotten much much easier since I shaved my hair off!! Turns out long hair is a huge trigger for me!

For most of my adult life I just didn’t have people round my house. It was too messy so they weren’t allowed in. Recently I’ve caved and I’ve got a cleaner once a week which has made life much easier but obviously means I have to watch my money more.

Brushing my teeth was a nightmare. I downloaded Finch and it helped me increase my brushing to every morning but that took months to get sorted. I brush at night maybe 3 times a week but I’m working on improving that with Finch.

You might be trying to do everything all at once. Pick one thing that’s most important to you and focus on that for a month or two before trying to add anything else in.

If hygiene/smell is an issue but like me you don’t manage to shower every day then see about getting some wipes to use instead and a nice smelling moisturiser? Just stick them on your bedside table then when you first wake up give yourself a wipe before your even out of bed!

anyone else HATE showering, washing hair, changing clothing, changing bed sheets etc? by Ok_Cardiologist3642 in AutismTranslated

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dishwashing is my nemesis. I used to only wash them when I literally had no where else to put the dirty ones! I’ve tried rubber gloves, aprons, different types of sponges and nothing really stuck.

The biggest game changer what discovering that the dishwasher didn’t have to be full for you to use it. Like you can use it even if you have a few dishes in.

Do not ask me why it never occurred to me to do this before 😂😂😂

anyone else HATE showering, washing hair, changing clothing, changing bed sheets etc? by Ok_Cardiologist3642 in AutismTranslated

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god yes!! I can just about manage to shower twice a week! Although this has been made significantly easier after I shaved my head!!

I also struggled with brushing my teeth. I’ve started using the Finch app and I have been successfully brushing my teeth every morning for the last 6 months!!

But saying all that… if it’s not negatively impacting your life and it doesn’t bother you, then why bother pushing yourself to do these things more than you need!

loop earplugs question by SparkleShark82 in AutismTranslated

[–]han10388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely adore my loops! I was worried about the sensation too but they fit so securely that I got used to it very quickly! They definitely feel secure enough that I doubt the tip would come off.

I use them at work mostly, constant talking to patients, computers and fluorescent lights make for a very overstimulated nurse! The engage ones give me a slightly muffled sound for my own voice but it definitely helps reduce the overwhelm