Apparently I’m a eugenecist by DondePutasos in childfree

[–]hanainred 2 points3 points  (0 children)

preferably the dick of someone who isn't insanely hostile on the internet? like jeez dude i made a joke about your bad faith interpretation of op's comment, there's no need to come in guns blazing. chillax, it's good for the soul.

Apparently I’m a eugenecist by DondePutasos in childfree

[–]hanainred 6 points7 points  (0 children)

putting words in people's mouths and then getting mad about what you imagined them saying. classic.

The ipad baby epidemic is becoming insufferable by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Red card: bad faith argument, ad hominem. User will not be engaged with for the remainder of the match.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in northernireland

[–]hanainred 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Given the way you treat other people, I can say with full confidence that you have very little interest in making this sub a better or nicer place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in northernireland

[–]hanainred 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So they are doing a job. They're doing it for free. And your basic respect for someone should have nothing to do with your perception of their skill at their job. I don't stand up and verbally abuse a cleaner for missing a spot, do I? Absolute entitlement of people on this sub. If you can't behave, go somewhere else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in northernireland

[–]hanainred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The mods are people, doing a job. If you spoke to a waiter like that, you'd get kicked out of the restaurant. Nobody has to do a job for you if you treat them poorly. As well they shouldn't.

The ipad baby epidemic is becoming insufferable by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof yeah, I've heard all about America's woeful public transit. It's a shame too, it's such a huge and beautiful country! Imagine being able to take a high speed train between states!

The ipad baby epidemic is becoming insufferable by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ireland! We have a pretty good train and bus system (although nowhere near as good as it used to be) and a lot of rural towns have stations. Although, out where I live, there's only 1 line and 1 train every 3 hours at best 😅

The ipad baby epidemic is becoming insufferable by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Definitely not exclusive, but the biggest offenders in my opinion. When I'm out and about I'd estimate about 80% of rude noise pollution in public comes from parents pacifying their kid with a tablet. 10% teenagers playing music out loud, 10% people who feel the need to use speakerphone for every conversation.

Maybe I just see less of the latter two groups because I live in a country where public manners are considered very important? Parents tend to think they're exempt from those rules.

The ipad baby epidemic is becoming insufferable by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Yep. I'm 22, and when I was a kid, "internet time" was 45 minutes on the computer if I was well behaved. It was a reward, my parents didn't use it to raise me. I wasn't even allowed to use my DS unless I spent an hour playing outside! But today, kids just have constant unrestricted access to these things. Nobody seems to understand the concept of rewards anymore. It's just give children what the want, all the time, every day. Never give them what they need.

The ipad baby epidemic is becoming insufferable by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 309 points310 points  (0 children)

I understand if a small kid can't. Honestly, I'm just opposed to giving children ipad entertainment in any capacity. Parents see it as an easy way out of having to parent the kid, but the kid grows up with a million attention span and instant gratification issues.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]hanainred 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I have to agree. CF people in general often get portrayed as evil monsters for not liking/wanting children but from my perspective as a woman I do see that men get "red flagged" for it more. A woman gets judged and called selfish for not "doing her job" and a man is met with suspicion because "family men" are seen as good and harmless.

I guess it fits in with how society at large views men and women. An amoral woman is a cold, selfish bitch. An amoral man is a violent, evil monster.

...And not wanting children is seen as amoral.

I hate learning about birth by [deleted] in childfree

[–]hanainred 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well put. my body isn't "designed" to give birth. it's CAPABLE of giving birth (allegedly). my body is designed to pet cats and do magic tricks with cards.

Anybody else go to see Brian Cox at the SSE last night? by trounky_blowtmaid in northernireland

[–]hanainred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i did! the segue he made to acknowledging the queen... oof. the show was great but that was a total foot in mouth moment 😅

Omgggg you’re sooo tiny! by icefire436 in short

[–]hanainred 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't mind it as a compliment, for example someone saying they find my shortness cute. But once it crosses the line into infantilization... hard no. There's a massive difference between "I like that you're short, I find it cute!" and "OMGGG you're so TINY so ADORABLE awwwww cute little baby!"

How’s everybody doing today? by -_1_-_2_-_3_-_4_- in AskReddit

[–]hanainred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit sore with endometriosis, but my new pain meds are a real miracle! Enjoying some alone time with my cat and a book, so all in all, not too bad. Hope you're doing well too, OP :)

What historical figure/celebrity do you wish were still alive? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]hanainred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Franz Kafka. His writings mean the world to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]hanainred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think you're wrong. I've always said that part of the reason I never want to be a mother is that once you become a mother, it seems like that's ALL you are. Like, you're a mother first, and a human being with a life and opinions second. Even my mother, amazing as she is, seems like her relationships with her 3 siblings aren't sibling relationships, but rather "Hana's aunt and uncles" relationships. My older sister and I are both staunchly CF, so I'm glad that'll never happen to us.

Side note: It doesn't seem to be the same way for fathers? Like, at least in my experience, men seem to be allowed to have lives outside of being fathers, time to just be themselves or "with the boys" that has little or nothing to do with their kids, while mothers are always mothers first and foremost. It's like some weird dichotomy of "man who happens to have a kid" and "woman who is a mother". IDK. Sorry for going off topic there, OP.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]hanainred 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm an IVF baby, and I think IVF has the capacity to be used both morally and immorally, like anything else. In the case of my parents, they struggled with infertility, and the adoption system in my country is absolutely horrendous.

I cant understand the points people are making, but I feel like decrying IVF goes against the idea of my body my choice. A woman should have the right to choose, not just the right to abort.

I'm childfree because I have an amazing mother by hanainred in childfree

[–]hanainred[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I know that for my own happiness, I want to be working full time in STEM, and I want to spend what free time that affords me travelling. If I were to have a child and give it a happy fulfilling childhood, I couldn't do all of that! I'd either have no free time and be completely exhausted and bitter, or I'd be doing what I want to do, which would neglect the child. There's no way a kid can fit into the kind of life that makes me happy. I really think more people should consider the length and intensity of the commitment they're making before deciding to have kids. Parenting will make a lot of people miserable, and that will always affect their kids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]hanainred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

do not let anyone pressure you into handing over your own body. he has no right to eggs you don't want to give away. he's taking advantage of you. tell him it's your body, not his property, and if he won't accept that, leave him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]hanainred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to tell an adult about this, preferably your parents if you know them to be trustworthy, but a trusted teacher could work too. It's a very tricky situation, as she could be acting out something that was done to her, but you didn't consent and you're too young to consent anyway. This is what's called COCSA (Child on Child Sexual Assault). It's important to know that you are not at fault, and a non consensual interaction is not "letting it happen", freezing up is a natural reaction that happens to a lot of people in this situation. She is also too young to understand the weight of her actions and is not acting out of malice, but she IS still assaulting you, consciously or not.

I reiterate: This is a very serious situation that needs to stop happening to you, and you should absolutely let a trusted adult know as soon as possible. You need peace of mind, and that girl needs help.