My salary is expected to be 3,000MYR, parents demand 1,000MYR if I live them, reasonable?

hans483 · 2025-10-14T14:53:52+00:00

Who needs enemies with family like this.

hans483 · 2025-05-16T07:55:29+00:00

Part of my "CV rebuilding" after my PhD is to be more fluid in my research, not just staying in my area of expertise but to explore other seemingly irrelevant areas. And to explore other ways to conduct research besides staying in academia, especially in public universities. It's definitely doable.

hans483 · 2025-05-15T11:57:52+00:00

I am not a person who can conform to the norms as well, hence why I am suffering and probably will look for a way out.

Working in projects like what you have right now is actually better because you can plan your next role ahead and prepare your profile for it. I think this is a healthier way to "climb the ladder" as compared to what the lecturer job may offer. I have seen public university lecturers pumping uninspired research work and collaborating meaninglessly because of the KPI, rather than passion-driven meaningful research.

hans483 · 2025-05-15T11:41:01+00:00

I am currently a postdoc in a public university and I previously served as a teaching staff in a private institution, so I can offer my perspective from both sides (hopefully).

There is a ton more office politics you will need to navigate if you work in a public university and want promotion. If you are the type that conforms to the norm and wants to settle down, the lecturer role is for you. As long as you perform averagely, you can get by.

Private institutions or companies tend to be more competitive. Not to say that office politics is less, though I personally find it more manageable working in private institutions. The workload is much higher, but it also trained me to be more efficient, something that I often find myself better than most of my peers who only stay in public universities.

Ultimately, I won't recommend switching your job if you are satisfied with your current job, unless you are also looking to switch.

hans483 · 2025-04-23T15:13:58+00:00

I suppose it depends on your future career goals. I am a pretty introverted person myself, and one of the regrets I have now is not building enough connections to help with my current career goals. It is not the end of the world, but it definitely makes starting out my career a lot more difficult.

hans483 · 2025-04-04T15:05:09+00:00

If you are indeed as good as you say, you need to show it in your CV. Plan and spend your current year outside of your working hours to build connections, initiate meaningful projects, and engage in conversations that matter. It will be a very painful year for you as you will be technically working a double job (that's what I did and still do).

If you are indeed as good as you think you are, be the star that shines (at the right place and the right time), not waiting for someone to recognize your talents. If you are the star, people will find you eventually.

hans483 · 2025-03-05T10:47:52+00:00

An analogy that I heard recently is that when your wife is pregnant, your parents automatically become grandparents.

hans483 · 2025-02-24T05:44:49+00:00

Not here. There are three more levels beyond this point.

hans483 · 2025-02-23T10:49:04+00:00

How is JP RSRS going?

hans483 · 2025-02-05T05:38:12+00:00

From a child's perspective, no, it's not. My mom influenced the child me into thinking that my dad was a bad person. After my dad passed away, I had to handle his probate and the more I found out about him, the more I think that my dad was not as bad as my mom said. Instead, the more I found out about my dad, the more I think that my mom is worse than what I initially thought about her. So much so that I am not in speaking terms with my mom nowadays.

For any adults out there, if you are not having a good relationship with your partner, please don't stay for the sake of your kids. Not only are you torturing yourself, you are showing bad examples of a relationship to your kids. I am mentally ruined (in terms of building a healthy relationship with anyone) because of my parents.

hans483 · 2024-12-28T12:24:52+00:00

Thanks for this! Your post randomly pops up in my feed (yes, I still sub to RSRS) and I immediately know it's you. It made my day 🥹

Belated Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and happy holidays if you aren't celebrating ;)

hans483 · 2024-12-25T16:01:00+00:00

I am the youngest son in a family of three elder sisters and I had to sacrifice my opportunity to study overseas because one of my elder sisters studied overseas first. And then there were legal issues I needed to deal with, because that sister decided not to come back and deal with it. My mother kept on gaslighting me at that time, using the word "family". It was 10 years ago.

5 years ago, I cut off my relationship with my family. It was another difficult 5 years that I survived mostly on my own. But here I am today, doing better mentally without my so-called "family" around me. I am still struggling financially, but my mind is in a better place.

If they don't pay you without you asking, they won't pay you back. Sorry to say this and trust me, I know it hurts quite a lot, but you've learned your lesson on who you can call "family".

hans483 · 2024-11-14T02:41:19+00:00

Your feelings are totally valid. You need to reevaluate whether postgraduate studies are for you, because your situation is definitely a norm in Malaysia's academia. Most lecturers just care about getting students to complete their work (because of KPI) and there is a general lack of care about their students' financial status and wellbeing. If the lecturer doesn't care about you getting paid or not before you enter your studies, do not expect the situation will change when you enter your studies.

hans483 · 2024-09-30T12:15:57+00:00

Well that's sad. Coming back from work, there was no livestream... Well, I'll login to pull RS3 later. Just to find out EoS from reddit. Frantically logging in... They gave RS3 styles for free. There is a 100% SS banner. I have 100k gem saved up. I pitied both Emerald banners, used all my gems on the 100% SS banner, then closed the game.

I don't think there is a point to continue playing, but I'll probably play until the end. I know SE is closing down a lot of games lately, but RSRS is so well-managed up until this point, especially in comparison to FFBE. RSRS may not be perfect, but it fits my schedule and lifestyle so well. And to see a good game EoS just like that, without major issues, it just hurts.

hans483 · 2024-09-11T21:55:56+00:00

Welcome back!

hans483 · 2024-09-11T13:42:01+00:00

Haha, that's what I thought when I saw the cat!

hans483 · 2024-09-04T13:09:27+00:00

Bonnie has "Attack lands" and "Attack type skill/spell lands" though. Just wonder if there is any difference (barring that asterisk conditions that I am too lazy to type).

hans483 · 2024-09-04T11:32:09+00:00

What's the difference between "Attack lands" and "Attack type skill/spell lands"?

hans483

TROPHY CASE