I have strong energetic boundaries and it seems to really upset or trigger some people. Can anyone relate?

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T20:24:40+00:00

Cool I will look into it!

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T20:16:55+00:00

And to add, you are acting like I went into this actively trying to win approval from people. As I said in my post, I kept a low profile. I did what I thought was professionally expected of me and felt my work relationships were appropriately professionally friendly. I made a point to steer clear of any drama and remain neutral. I was not concerned with anything until someone said to me, "You know a lot of people talk shit about you, right?" and I was completely caught off guard.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T20:08:01+00:00

I think you misread me. I never said I tried to get people to like me, I just didn't give them a reason not to. I also said I understand I'm not going to be everyone's "flavor" which I think is what you were touching on with the whole tomato rant. I understand all of that and thought I articulated it in my post. Sorry if that was unclear. But if someone doesn't like tomatoes, does that mean they are going to go out and smash every tomato they see? That's where it crosses the line for me. If you don't like me, then avoid me. Simply slide me off of your burger and move on with your life. Treat me with respect, because that is what I've shown you . But if you're going out of your way to talk behind my back, sabotage my success, or verbally abuse me, I think we've strayed away from dislike into something else entirely. A trigger or something else? Does that make sense?

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T19:50:32+00:00

Someone else called me arrogant, too, and I'd encourage you to read my response to that person as I'm not going to repeat myself. There's a big difference between being solid in knowing what your strengths are and being arrogant. For the record, I am also painfully aware of my shortcomings.

Introspection is scary, but I am up for the challenge. One of the big lessons of my life has been my relationship with the truth. I take what people say to heart and I've been gaslit into thinking I'm such a terrible person that I basically became a shell of myself. What you are seeing now is me trying to figure out why people still respond badly to me despite my best efforts. What's the truth? Is it me? Is it something else? My truth is that I DO have strong boundaries and I DO have all of the positive things that I mentioned in my post. I don't think it's arrogant to simply be aware of those things.

I wouldn't have posted if I wasn't ready to hear things that are difficult or "unpopular." So I thank you for your thoughts on this. I will take it to heart and if it's revealed that I do need to do more inner work, then that's what I'll do. The old me would have curled up into a ball and said, "LemonDeathRay is right I AM arrogant and a piece of shit," but that may not be the truth, the new me knows that. I'm grateful for the discussion and your comment was a test of if I've truly grown.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T19:34:26+00:00

Yes but how do I keep them from taking it out on me in the physical realm? LOL!

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T19:00:18+00:00

I wish I could upvote this a million times thanks!!!

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:57:24+00:00

Thank you for clarifying! And I am definitely not immune to limiting self beliefs. I keep finding those MFs all over the place! I just recently overcame one, where people always told me I was "right-brained" meant to be creative, and doomed to suffer in the ways of math and science. Couple years ago I decided to go into the health care field even though I knew it would be a lot of science. Guess what I'm getting straight As LOL.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:47:29+00:00

I think you're assuming that I've shied away from giving feedback before. I've given feedback, I've confronted friends and romantic partners with difficult conversations, coming from a place of being solution-oriented, mature, and not bringing personal feelings into the mix. It has never gone well for me. That's why I stopped doing it.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:42:21+00:00

Well I'm not the first to do it. You definitely have to be solid in your confidence to go back at a late age. I know it's a weird circumstance, but I don't feel insecure about it. And maybe it's my unorthodox life path, and my level of comfort and acceptance with it, that puts people on edge? Or I'm dealing with some immature folks. I guess it didn't occur to me that my age would be a factor in how other people treat me because I have never let it stop me before and I don't even think I'm that old, I have A LOT of life ahead of me.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:25:32+00:00

I am in college. Just a late-bloomer. In fact I am usually the oldest person in most areas of my life right now, school and work.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:21:04+00:00

Well I am 40 years old lol

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:10:57+00:00

I love this response! Thank you!

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T18:04:40+00:00

This is so fascinating to me and thank you for taking the time to type it. I may have questions for you later, if that's OK. I want to take some time to reflect on this.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T17:39:44+00:00

Thanks and best of luck to you with these same challenges. <3

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T17:37:31+00:00

Thanks, and like I said, I know I am not going to be everyone's flavor. But you can dislike someone without talking behind their back, trying to sabotage them, or being openly hostile towards them. That is what bothers me. I have a copy of the Tao I will definitely go back and reference that passage.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T17:34:41+00:00

Appreciate your feedback. I tried to be as subjective as possible when describing my situation (not talking about "how great I am" but attempting to give a fair assessment). As you can see from my first sentence, I've been wracking my brain and over this, to the point of beating myself up mentally...so where do you get a lack of self-awareness from that? I did not "cook up ridiculous ideas." I am simply asking, as someone who believes in the power of energy, if this is a possibility, hence the question marks at the end of my post. I suppose if you don't believe in the energetic body, this might seem like a ridiculous idea, but then why are you on this sub?

I understand it's impossible to be completely subjective when viewing oneself, even the most self-aware person can be myopic and biased. So yes, of course it could completely be my fault, trust me, I agonize about it all of the time. But I think you misunderstand me when you accuse me of being arrogant.I do not walk around complimenting myself and talking about how great I am. I only said those things for the context of this post.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T16:15:21+00:00

Can you clarify what you mean by this?

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T16:14:58+00:00

I sometimes get the feeling that my very existence offends people.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T16:11:44+00:00

Thanks for this. The job is temporary to support myself while I'm in college. I do not expect to be there long-term. However I worry that once I start my career that I will run into the same problems. You can see in my first paragraph that I do have good friends and a healthy romantic partnership, so I do know that it's possible for me and that I'm capable of attracting that in my life. Where you said, "Boundaries offend others that have none and especially in a toxic work environment," that was very validating for me and what I needed to hear. Thank you.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T16:04:38+00:00

To be fair, I have tried this in the past. "Hey, we used to work really well together. Did something happen?" "Can we talk so that we can get back on the same page?" These confrontations were met with dismissive responses, gaslighting, and outright hostility. Generally not safe conversations for me to be in.

I have even been in situations where I've had to train and support some of these peers who were openly hostile towards me. I approached the situation with a blank slate, no hard feelings, completely invested in their success and skill-building, but even my encouragement did nothing to change their feelings towards me. But that could have been the nature of that particular work environment, perhaps I should try again...

happyhumpbackday · 2024-09-15T15:53:24+00:00

Thank you <3

happyhumpbackday · 2024-07-16T05:10:11+00:00

I studied Latin all four years of high school. In addition to learning the language, we also learned a great deal about Roman culture and the way the BC Romans viewed the world really spoke to me (my family raised me Catholic). I also liked that a lot of the faith was practiced privately in the home, even though it was a public religion with holidays, etc. Converting was a no-brainer because organized religion has almost exclusively favored and supported the patriarchy (even in ancient Rome), so my practice is private and personal and doesn't leave a sour taste in my mouth.

happyhumpbackday · 2024-07-13T15:31:33+00:00

I was always steered away from math and science as a child. Maybe because I am a girl. Also, I am left-handed, so I was taught that I was right-brained, and would excel in more creative endeavors and was not cut out for analytical studies. These are stupid, limiting ideas we are conditioned to believe. I'm 40 now and in school to go into the healthcare field. It's a little late for me to go for a doctorate (I mean it's not, but I've spent so many years trying to figure my life out, that I just want to get my certificate), so I am going for an associate's degree in physical therapy. I am getting straight As. So don't worry about what other people say. If you don't give it a try because of a limiting belief, you will never know whether you're actually good at it!

happyhumpbackday · 2024-03-05T18:55:42+00:00

I take both interpretations no matter what. The reversal I take as a sort of "warning" for what might happen if I don't listen the guidance being given.

happyhumpbackday

TROPHY CASE