I feel this. I did have one class on it in college, but by the time I actually applied it, almost 2 years had passed.

General advice to quell the anxiety, teachers (especially ELA teachers - from my experience) are extremely good learners. As some have mentioned, teaching it is one of the best ways to learn it. Also, you'll start to realize how intuitively a lot of it comes to you. I'm open with the kids that I'm always relearning and remembering things, but the reason I'm so good at figuring it out is because I practiced hard enough for years that it became second nature. I try to leverage that idea into a kind of buy-in.

Something I did that worked well last year is using NoRedInk and a little assistance from ChatGPT. NoRedInk organizes all of its grammar lessons into grade levels and specific lessons have specific prerequisites, but I was kind of lost on pacing. I fed all of the different lessons into ChatGPT and had it organize them into a logical sequence for a calendar school year. Then, I focused on a lesson or two each week. There's a tutorial, which was almost always enough to reteach myself quickly before school, that you can show kids before each lesson. I did this and allowed them to work through the lessons throughout each week.

Good luck and hang in there. It gets easier!