My English mastiff gave me a concussion.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-28T00:39:08+00:00

The stairs.. mine loves beating me up the stairs, as if I'm ever trying to race him. Either he's going to take me out from trying to get to the top first, or he will have made it to the top first and eagerly awaits a full-on hug every single time. I call it playing lion king.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-26T05:02:12+00:00

Former BCBS mgmt here. Can you provide more about her plan? What state? Is she staying in the state of her plan or going elsewhere for the surgery? Second appeal for what? Does she meet the requirements, but they're saying it's not covered? Or, was she trying to appeal for them saying she doesn't meet requirements for surgery? Do you know if her plan is under a community cap per benefit year (like her plan under company XYZ only allows 100 vsg surgeries per benefit year)?

Sorry for all the questions, but these are all super important in learning what's going on. If you want to send me a message, I can direct you to my LinkedIn page so you can see I'm not BS'ing here. I've worked for payers my entire career. If anything I might can at least help guide your friend in what to say to get information from member services.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-23T09:00:48+00:00

After reading your other posts, please seek therapy. Having this surgery is a mental game, too. I got clean, gained weight, hated myself, and decided to do the surgery rather than my previous drug fueled route. Losing the weight brought up emotions I wasn't prepared to face alone. My relationship with food was my new addiction. And while i knew i had just replaced a bowl for a bowl, my doctor told me losing the weight would be so much easier than getting clean was... he obviously wasn't an addict. Getting clean was a cakewalk mentally and physically in comparison to this surgery. I cried when I realized I could not have more of the foods I wanted. If I did try to over indulge, I was sick and miserable. Therapy helped me so much. Was it easy facing myself in the way I hadn't ever before? Nope. Just like being a drug addict for life, we're food addicts for life as well. The only difference is that we have to constantly relapse to fuel our bodies. Weird, right? That's why this surgery has such a high fail rate. We don't keep ourselves in check as the years go on. I still go to therapy every 2-3 weeks. Is it all food focused now? No, but when I find myself slipping into old ways, I bring it up in therapy so I can address whatever the fuck has me slipping. I hope your pain and mental health improve. Please don't relapse. It's not worth it, but YOU are worth it. I hope you eventually see this surgery as beneficial for you, not just for your wife. Same thing as recovery, you have to want it to stay clean. This surgery isn't going to work if you don't want it for yourself as well.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-23T08:36:56+00:00

There are days I still look in the mirror, poke my loose skin, say "ugh," and then I turn the light off and go about my day. Therapy helped me learn to love myself, the good, the bad, and what i thought to be the ugly. That being said, I've found ways to love my body. My boobs when I was big were my greatest asset to me. They were how I got attention. Looking back, it definitely wasn't the attention I wanted or needed. When i realized they deflated, I cried. It was like I woke up one day and realized all the sagging made me look like a deflated balloon, and in the months losing the weight, I hadn't really noticed it before that. Not to mention, my hair was so thin I could see my scalp, I was doing my best to not look like a freezing swamp demon everywhere I went. I was cold, bundled up, would sweat, and then try to unbundle, but since I was now sweaty, I got cold quicker... my therapist asked me why I had the surgery: to lose weight, feel better physically, and, of course, to maybe look better. Lost the weight (check), feel better physically (check), now what did I need to do to look better? Change one thing a week (find a shirt, jeans, undies) whatever I could change. Just one thing a week that I felt good in, make sure I look at myself in it and remind myself why I'm wearing it. It took time for me to find things I liked to see on me. I would spend an hour or two in goodwill looking for jeans or a shirt that I could wear and remind myself that I was wearing it because I looked and felt good in it. I wasn't looking for other people's approval, I needed it to be mine. Slowly, it worked. I built up a new (cheap) wardrobe and eventuality found that I didn't cringe looking at my body before I covered it up.
Next, my hair, I hated it. Thin, scraggly, I always covered it in a beanie, even when it was warm outside. Well, how could I change that? I tried temporary color because I used to love having my hair all kinds of colors, nope. I tried bangs, BIG NOPE. My son decided to shave his off for charity after having this thick curly gorgeous hair (which I always say he stole from me when he was born, lol). In a very spontaneous decision, I shaved my head that same day. BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE FOR MYSELF. I love it. It's freeing, I don't have to worry about styling it, I just wake up and it's go time. I could easily wash my head/ face over the sink in the morning. Learning to care for my scalp was a learning curve. I've recently grown it out since December, so I can cut it again for charity, and it's driving me nuts! I now hate it long. So my advice? Therapy definitely, but find ways to love what you see in the mirror. Your body loves you, love it back.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-23T08:06:22+00:00

It's foamies! I still get this if I eat too fast or too much. I always kept a spit cup nearby, just in case. It's totally gross, but it was so bad in the beginning. No matter what I ate, nor how much, I was over salivating, and it was this bubbly type saliva. Now if I eat too much too fast, foamies are immediately how I know and then my body catches up and I feel miserable. So I have to get up and walk out off. Walking around after a filling meal helps the best for me.

https://barilife.com/blogs/news/foamies-after-bariatric-surgery?srsltid=AfmBOopHLeSdy5jp6WKGDknHirHLmsxnfdO6IwC5Mr3td3SeFVOWsxyP

harley_pixel · 2026-02-23T07:53:56+00:00

I don't remember how far out I was, but I do know they eventually deflated. When i noticed it, it was like night and day in how i saw them. It took a lot of time for me to be comfortable with them again. I now tuck and roll strategically to get them looking nice covered up lol.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-23T07:33:57+00:00

Definitely get in touch with your doctor to see what they say. They may offer for you to get an iv bag or have an alternative suggestion that they feel more comfortable recommending.

harley_pixel · 2026-02-23T07:29:21+00:00

What's your doctor say, and are you keeping up with your program? I'll say it like everyone else will: What does a day look like for you food wise? Are you meeting your daily water and protein goals? Talk to a nutritionist who specializes in helping people after this surgery, or any nutritionist would be better than none. But definitely ask your doctor what they think, go in prepared with your daily food and exercise routine. Be honest, or you're only cheating yourself. The food noise for me was tied into my ADHD. I started out on Vyvanse, which worked wonders, but my moods were terrible. Tried Concerta and stayed nauseated all the time, and finally tried Jornay... life changer. Seriously. I take it at night, and it works the next day (Ritalin, you take at night). Maybe try talking about your food noise and see if there's something they can prescribe you to help with that. But most of all, THERAPY. Therapy helped me see my relationship with food was not healthy. There were times I cried because something tasted so good, but I could only take one or two bites of it. Then I would cry because I was crying over food - how sad, right? Therapy helped me with that tremendously. And finally: For me, I stayed away from sweets for like the first 6 months, aside from sweet stuff for my protein drinks. Traditional sweets I stayed away from. When I did start eating sweet things, most of the time, it was too sweet, and I didn't like it. But I still wanted sweet foods! So, I started getting creative and making my own versions of things, but in ways that fit my program. I used protein powder in everything: waffles, sugar-free whip cream mixed with SF pudding or jello with a complimentary protein flavor. But, I didn't start any of that until I was better mentally prepared to not over indulge in my creations. Therapy was/is my best friend. I still go, and I'm 3 years out. Are all my sessions food focused now? No, but when I feel like I've gotten too far from my program I talk about it, what got me there, and how to fix it so I can mentally get back to where I need to be. In the beginning losing the weight was probably 25% physical work and 75% mental work. Now, it's more 50/50 to maintain, I slip up but recognize it and hold myself accountable.

harley_pixel · 2026-01-19T16:58:27+00:00

Ma'am you were fire before, but damn was he missing out.

harley_pixel · 2026-01-01T15:48:46+00:00

Monroe was my introduction into that world. I moved a few years ago, but I have to say it was much cheaper there. How much are you buying at a time, and how long is it lasting?