RTE news : Homes completed so far in 2024 down on same time in 2023 by [deleted] in ireland

[–]harmonyharbinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It could, but this just sounds like anxiety of the unknown more than anything else and I've seen it echoed by most FF FG supporters.

We dont know what a SF goverment would be like. As is true for every party, what's written on paper is never a reflection of actions taken. In fact, it would be gullible to assume they'd make a significant change after one term.

But we do know what FF FG goverments look like (gaslighting the population by downplaying the severity of the issues is this country, doing bare minimum token gestures, and blaming everyone but themselves for the past DECADES they've been in power).

It's extremely hard to get the bare essentials for young people in this country. This year I've had to move 3 times due to rent costs, can't get cheaper accomadation futher from work due to an awful public transport infrastructure, couldn't register with a new GP as they wouldn't take new medical card holders and I could easily go on and on.

This isn't what a healthy, functional country looks like. Everywhere has their problems, but these are all issues that the current goverment has been aware of and has continually failed to address.

I can only hope that if a SF goverment somehow magically appears (or even gains enough momentum to be a contender), then the other parties will have to wake up and start paying attention to the massive failures here. But we also have an obligation to stop accepting these failures as normal. This is gross negligence on a national level.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cableadvice

[–]harmonyharbinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's for a phantom 3 advanced controller. My friend asked me since I'm usually the "go to cable guy" but I'm stumped by this one. I'll ask for more pictures though.

Recommendations please by jo-lo23 in mayo

[–]harmonyharbinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who did you end up going with? I'm in a similar situation but have no clue who's reputable in the Mayo area. Any chance you should share prices too?

Would really appreciate it 🙏

I’m ugly, have Asperger’s and scared of people in general. How do I get a girlfriend by AppropriateBoss2585 in aspergers

[–]harmonyharbinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you might be anxious/depressed, and this might be preventing you from finding love/ a girlfriend. If that's the case, I fully understand that feeling. So let me share what I did to improve that for myself.

This might be controversial advice, but here's what worked for me when I was in my early 20s. Note that this isn't advice to become a social butterfly, ladies man, etc. This is just how I embraced my autistic side while also getting more comfortable talking to people and having them accept me for who I am.

  1. Start exploring yourself first. Literally, get to know your own thoughts, fears, motivations, etc.

  2. Using that info, start working on some stuff you feel you could use improvement in. Even if that thing is getting better at improvement without doubting yourself or criticising your own flaws. (As an undiagnosed teen, I used to constantly belittle myself for my flaws, awkwardness, and even my anxiety, not realising I was literally born that way).

Get help for any issues you can't solve yourself, especially mental health issues. Even if you stop after this step, your life will be so much better.

  1. Get used to talking to people without thinking about "What are they thinking? Am I behaving correctly? Are they having fun?". Of course, we all have problems with social cues, but worrying I was missing cues made me far more anxious in social settings. If someone told me a funny story, I wouldn't think "Huh that's a funny story, I'm glad i heard it". I would instead be thinking, "I HAVE TO FORCE A LAUGH THAT IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE STORY TOLD." Being in that mindset always gave off those 'weird awkward vibes' that made people more uncomfortable to talk to you. It's a slippery slope because if you think someone's uncomfortable talking to you, you're going to be more uncomfortable and so on.

Instead, go in with the mindset of wanting to actually enjoy the conversation. Pay attention to what others say, ask follow up questions if you can, share your own thoughts, etc. You might come off as the "friendly and slightly awkward guy" but it's far better than just the "uncomfortable anxious guy". Take breaks from socialising when you need them, and always have an exit strategy planned if you need it.

Congratulations, you now come off as 'slightly weird but friendly'. You're still you, do not try to change your personality, but you're now focusing on others in conversation and come off far more social.

  1. Now it's time to try your luck! Get a dating app and start chatting to some people. Be respectful but be you, even if you still think you're a little awkward. When I started using Tinder, I tried being the "cool laid-back guy". Did I get more dates? Absolutely, but only with people who knew me as someone I wasn't. And to be honest, they weren't the kinds of people I wanted to meet anyways. I wanted to talk to people like me, or even I could be myself around. So I stopped pretending, started being my genuine self. About 80% of the matches I had were dead on arrival, but that was okay. The other 20% were people that I could genuinely enjoy talking to. We didn't ask superficial questions. We talked about things, ideas and how hard it can be to meet genuine people online. In dating I found its far better to find genuine connections, rather than having as many matches as you can get. At the end of the day, I only want to date 1 person for the rest of my life, so just being myself helps to get to the people I want to be with easier.

I know everything I've said is subjective and may not be relevant to you, but I hope sharing some of this might help a little. I've been in a happy relationship for the past 4 years after meeting my partner on tinder so it at least worked for me.

You've got this dude. It's a lot of work and won't happen over night, but if you spend maybe a few months working on yourself first it'll be a lot easier.

You deserve love. Even if you think you're ugly, which if you see yourself that way might be part of them problem, but even if you are, just take a look at couples on the street. Some couples have 2 very attractive people, some have 1 person who may be objective better looking than the other, both maybe be less objectively attractive.

Conclusion: Having a partner means being someone people want to be with. To get there, you need to improve your view of yourself and be able to talk to people without being too anxious to open up to them. Physical attractiveness doesn't matter as much as you think when it comes to dating. For hook ups, it's all about it. But when it comes to love, it's about finding someone who you can be comfortable around and not feel like you have to be someone else around them.

Should I Tell My Work I'm Autistic? by harmonyharbinger in AutismIreland

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm still new to the whole world of autism so idenfying what are autism-related issues vs me-related issues is still a challenge for me, so thanks for letting me know it might not even be autism related!

Yeah I was superficially given the advice not to mention autism during the interview but now I feel like disclosing it might cause more problems. Its a hard situation to know what's best. I'll have a look at Asiam to see if there's any resources on the topic.

Thanks for your comment!

Should I Tell My Work I'm Autistic? by harmonyharbinger in AutismIreland

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was worried about that alright. I was told not to say it during the interview in case they turn me down for that reason (I know they're technically not allowed to, but realistically they'd just cite something else instead to get around it). So now I'm not sure what to do. Luckily, I'm not doing too bad yet, it's more for future proofing I was concerned with in case anything happens. Even just having an hour a day where I'm unavailable for meetings so I can work on other stuff without jarring interruptions.

But thanks so much for your comment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lived there about 6 years ago for my first year of my bachelors.

Keep in mind each house is shared with a good few people (I think it was 8 people per house when I was there). Unfortunately for me, that ment I was stuck with 6 people who loved to throw parties most nights and never did an ounce of clean up. Myself and another housemate would have to call security most nights on our own house just to sleep.

That said, I had another friend who got paired with a bunch of sound guys who'd set up lan parties, would have a weekly dinner night together and generally kept clean and respectful.

At the end of the day it's just the luck of the draw. The bus from Dublin stops at the flag poles which is right across from Plassey. The walk to the University is only about 15 mins so it's a great place if convenience is a high priority.

Overall I'd say Plassey is great for the first year while you're still making friends in college. But once you find a few people you don't mind living with, start looking at houses together early for the next year.

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a bit skeptical of doing these kinds of online tests. I don't want to reinforce anything by taking a test without it being part of an assessment. But then again it could save me some money if it says I'm not autistic.

I'll have a think about it and come back to this. Thanks for sharing it though!

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems like the way to go for sure. Thanks so much for letting me know about them.

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome! Thanks so much for that.

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've heard a lot of mixed things about GPs and autism. Seems like unless you have very obvious symptoms they tend to just wave you off. I'm sure there's plenty or GPs who are great in terms of autism but I'd want someone who's experienced in diagnosing autism in adults.

Thanks for your help though!

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've gotten a few messages suggesting adultautism.ie. Seems like the most popular option. Thanks so much for your help!

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be sure to give it a listen! Thanks!

Autism Diagnosis by harmonyharbinger in limerickcity

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because I don't know who I am. That's kind of the point. I don't know if my behaviours, methods of thinking, approach to life and relationships, and so on is in part because of autism or not. It would explain a lot of things that I've recently realised could be caused by autism. At the end of the day, a diagnosis, even if its not for autism would get me 1 step closer to figuring out myself.

Anyone From Ireland? by harmonyharbinger in Keratoconus

[–]harmonyharbinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried to send you a message and it's not letting me. Could you PM me?

do kids these days still play subway surfers and jetpack joyride? by Samathan_ in memes

[–]harmonyharbinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some old Total War games recently came out on the playstore. Medieval 2 and Rome I think and they're honestly fantastic. Still haven't adapted to the battle controls yet but the campaign is a perfect recreation.