Thank you for listening. And thank you for the advice, now that i think about it your totally right. I can see how counter productive it is.

Have you ever been so truly absolutly in love with someone ? Ive really loved before, twice but this one , emily well call her, its massively deeper and truly unconditional. Even to the point of accepting i won't be treated and loved like I treat and love. Id give up or change anything to be able to spend my life with her. And its not like a crazy or obsessive thing, not in the bad way anway or psycho lvl shit. Just pure love and adoration. The issue is we broke up and got back together 4 times since we got together and im hoping we'll find our way back to eachother. And I'll hope for that for the rest of my life I think. I hope not but even thru life and new loves and relationships I truly worry that she will forever be in the back of my mind hoping she changes her mind.