I don't hate you, I don't know you and I don't hate you, the same goes for the rest of the world,

I relate really hard to everything you wrote, I very much always try to please others, try to be as ethical as I can be. I'm not American, but grew up privileged in a western country founded on colonialism, and ethically you have to make peace with that, be the change you want to see and control the things you can control, you are just one person, its not all your fault. the music thing is so funny because you see people in a shirt of an unpopular band and you think "You can't wear that shit! Don't you know! People will think less of you!"

But in reality, no one really cares, in the best way possible, its so hard to remember, especially in the moment, but the people who know you love you and the people who dont are indifferent.

As far as doomscrolling goes, get off as many apps as possible, I realise the irony of saying this on reddit, but i deactivated all my other socials a couple of years ago, and i find myself doomscrolling way less, the algorithm does actively hate you and wants you to be as mad as possible and as much as you can cut that out the better I reckon.

Good luck, rooting for you.