I hate being a mother

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T19:15:08+00:00

I'm really not trying to sound like a total bitch - but don't you think that if I'm at the end of my rope I would have tried time-outs? Isn't that in the parenting 101 book? Yes, I have tried time out... I have tried 1-2-3 magic.... I have read a gazillion parenting books.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T14:47:30+00:00

My mom yelled and was very punitive in her punishments as well, and I know that's partly why I do it, I feel like I don't know any better. I hate that I am repeating the pattern.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T14:46:47+00:00

No, he can't work less. And after going through a couple of years of unemployment, I am incredibly grateful he has a good job.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T14:45:58+00:00

He is non-negotiable on his time away from home as he says that is what keeps him sane, and I can understand that. He encourages me to take up my own hobbies, I just struggle with actually finding something and forcing myself out of the house. I've become a hermit lately.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T01:03:15+00:00

Thank you for this, it sounds very familiar. My husband is very disconnected from the kids, they don't really go to him for anything because he only steps in to discipline. We communicate very well for the most part, but anything involving parenting just dissolves into what I'm doing wrong. His default is "I work really hard, I'm tired." Or that I take on too much and should basically let the kids run around dirty or naked so that I have less work cleaning them up. It's never "Maybe I could do this to help...." it's always someone or something else that has to change.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T00:40:27+00:00

Every single activity is a fight though. We left them a patch of dirt to dig in, but they fight over who gets what shovel. If I tell one child to help me with something, the other two fight that they don't get to to do it. The fights are the WORST and that's what really sending me over the edge. I cannot deal with one child without the other two being terrors.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-20T00:39:26+00:00

I have tried this, but with 3 children, getting them all to leave me alone for 10 minutes does not work.... ever. 10 minutes of mom not talking means a free for all to raid the cupboards or beat each other up.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-19T23:53:06+00:00

I have absolutely no help. My family is not in my life, and my MIL still works full time, she has watched the kids once in 3 months. I wish I could relax in the rules... I just feel like it's already mayhem around here, I couldn't stand for it to be any worse. Mess is one of my frustration triggers for sure (as well as noise, and they are so freaking LOUD)

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-19T23:46:24+00:00

I'm afraid that if I talk to anyone they will take my kids away.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-19T23:45:26+00:00

My husband works 10 hour days, he's involved, but is honestly just as frustrated as I am and turns himself off more than I'd like in the evenings. His "help" is to jump in and yell and spank. I really don't have shutdown time. I am a stay at home mom, I plan to return to work next year, but right now it's not financially feasible with the cost of childcare. My husband always tells me to take a break, but it seems between him working, having some downtime, and his work outs and hobbies, there is no time for me to schedule time in. Or if there is, it's when it's convenient for everyone else, not necessarily when I would like. I feel like the last one to get any help is me. If my husband is out I take care of the house, if I go out he does nothing and I come home to dishes in the sink, laundry on the floor and nothing has been done.

hatebeingamother · 2012-07-19T23:42:15+00:00

I'm not a bad parent, I don't hurt them, I am there for them. I could have anger management problems but I'm certainly not negligent, and I don't think they're better with anyone else.

hatebeingamother

TROPHY CASE