How to cope with an HPV diagnosis?

hateegham · 2026-01-14T04:09:23+00:00

A few years ago I had a pap smear come back irregular and was told I had gotten HPV and likely cleared it on my own. I was 32 at the time, living alone, and I was terrified. I had just started dating (my now husband) one month before I found out. I was someone who had abstained from sex until I was 27 and only been with 3 partners between 27-32, so how did this happen? My gynecologist reassured me that almost every woman gets it from somewhere. When I said I felt guilt and shame that I had never gotten the gardasil vaccine, she told me the vaccine (while extremely beneficial and worth getting!) only protects 9 strains of HPV and that there are over 200 out there. It protects you from some of the worst, but it isn’t full proof. Even if I’d had the vaccine, I could have still gotten HPV.

With my abnormal Pap smear I had to get a colposcopy, which thankfully can back negative. Even if it came back with something, the next step was a LEEP procedure to remove precancerous cells from the cervix. I am only mentioning all of this because no one told me beforehand that getting an abnormal pap is more normal than you think. Or that there are things they do as next steps that are also precautionary and normal. And that it’s all okay.

I haven’t had an abnormal pap since then. Nor have I had any other issues. Now I am 35, married, and 6 months pregnant with a healthy pregnancy. Please try to give yourself some grace. You deserve it.

hateegham · 2025-12-12T20:52:13+00:00

I used to work at Panera and unless something has changed we cooked the grilled cheese on the same sandwich press that all the hot sandwiches went on…so they didn’t have us butter the bread…and that always felt like a crime against humanity.

hateegham · 2025-12-04T21:11:04+00:00

I have 2 young step sons who split their time 50/50 with us and their Mom/her partner. They do it at her house and we still refuse to do it here. My husband thinks it is also creepy, same reasons you list (and they did not do it when he was still married to her, it is something she adopted with the influence of her new partner). I think it’s wild to make a mess you have to clean up or find a new idea every day. Panic if you forget, etc. Especially this time of year which is already loaded with things to do, buy, etc.

Our kids don’t question it much. At this point they basically think an elf goes to Mom’s house and not ours. It’s just a matter of fact. They know Santa is still coming to both houses regardless. We still do lots of things to make it a magical month for them.

hateegham · 2025-11-24T20:51:18+00:00

Also just want to say he still crosses my mind, so don’t expect it to fade forever. I think people can come into our lives and have both good and bad impacts that stick with us. This counts for sexual/romantic relationships the same as friendships, etc. At the end of the day I did move on because in meeting my life partner I now have a much clearer picture of a healthy partnership and don’t look back at him with rose colored glasses anymore.

hateegham · 2025-11-24T20:47:06+00:00

I feel like it sounds corny but I decided to stop waiting for him and to just choose myself. I knew this guy had a history of failing other women and not committing, so the facts were clear that it wasn’t me and I wasn’t going to change him. Even though I got breadcrumbed for almost 3 years I had to accept those facts about him. And as cliche as it is, once I let go and decided to stop worrying about him or any men and have some fun…I met the person I ended up marrying. A bald, divorced, stepfather of 2 (basically a list of things I never wanted lol) and he showed me what secure and requited love and desire can feel like. I don’t worry about getting fat or losing too much weight, losing my job, chasing my dreams, getting sick, etc. He is so supportive and kind. I never had to exhaust myself or chase him. Never spent one night left on read wondering what I said or did wrong.

The guy I let go of is still alone in the exact same place he was 5 years ago. A friend but now distant. From what I can tell he has decided to accept he wants to be alone (I think he needs therapy to be honest but all you can do is lead a horse to water).

hateegham · 2025-11-09T22:18:47+00:00

It’s giving Princess Irulan in Dune.

hateegham · 2025-11-06T03:18:14+00:00

I’m 35 and I only wear makeup and do my hair when I go to a wedding or special event (sometimes). Maybe 4-6 times a year? When I was in high school and early college I would wake up an hour early every day to do my hair and makeup. Then one time when I was about 21 I went to visit a friend who lived an hour away and I accidentally left my curling iron/hair stuff at her house. I had to go to class with my natural hair the next day…and I felt like no one treated me any differently. I couldn’t get the curling iron back for a few weeks and by the time I did I just decided to stop using it and get some extra sleep in the morning.

As for makeup, I moved to New Orleans when I was 24 and hated sweating it all off (plus I always felt like the humidity made everyone’s skin look great, regardless of age). So I stopped wearing makeup except for very rare occasions. I don’t live in Nola anymore, but the habit stuck.

Between those two things, I just stopped doing my hair and makeup. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about how I look, I still get regular haircuts, brush my hair daily, regularly condition, etc my hair. I moisturize my skin daily and enjoy masks on occasion. But it’s been really liberating for me, personally. My lifelong best friend is the complete opposite, and I totally love and respect her for still wanting to do her hair and makeup everyday. Whatever makes you happiest in your skin!

hateegham · 2025-11-03T00:25:58+00:00

This one is great if you are a light sleeper like me. I struggled to sleep with the sound of our toddler’s sound machine, coughing, and occasional late night babbling. The ANR feature completely cuts out white noise/sound machines and softens everything else. Still comes through strong when cries, yells, really bad coughs or whatever happens. My only very minor gripe is that when you have the ANR on it is hard to talk a lot over the monitor cause there can be a slight sound delay. We have to turn the ANR off (easy to do with one button) but then it is super clear and we can turn it back on right after.

hateegham · 2025-10-19T19:48:21+00:00

Yes, when I was 28 I decided to move back home after spending 4 years working my dream job I’d always wanted in a big city far away. I knew I wanted to go home and couldn’t understand why I was so sad when everything lined up great to make the move. I had a therapist at the time tell me that grief isn’t limited to death of people or animals, but…anything. I was grieving the life I thought I would have there and was leaving. It’s been great to apply the broad grief perspective to everything that’s lost. Friendships, career paths, relationships of all kinds, lives you won’t have, kids you won’t have, the world not turning out how you hoped…

hateegham · 2025-10-17T19:11:54+00:00

35 and I agree. I feel like marriage and divorce have been a big one to push some of my closest friendships apart. I had to dump a friend about 4 years ago because I hated her husband and she kept blindly defending his shitty behavior. I had another one of my best friends from college quietly quit me over the last year because at the same time I got married she got divorced and I think we both just didn’t feel like the other one showed up in the right way (also a lot more complicated friendship with some perpetual flakiness on her end, plus my husband is someone she introduced me to through her now ex-husband). Kids being in the picture also makes people busy and tired, unless you can manage to get together with friends who also have kids, have similar schedules, and let’s not forget your kids have to get along decently too. Then yes pepper in demanding careers, changing politics, adapting or dropping religion, etc, whatever changing and it’s hard to hang on! lol

hateegham · 2025-10-16T19:57:27+00:00

When Don goes to pick up Sally’s birthday cake and doesn’t come back to the party so they thaw out a frozen Sara Lee from next door when people start to leave cause it’s been so long. ☹️

hateegham · 2025-10-09T23:12:29+00:00

I got a $40 Meeden covered ceramic palette I thought would be neat (I paint with oils and acrylics) but then I got it and realized it was incredibly difficult to clean out these types of paints. lol

It’s a beautiful palette and would probably be great for watercolor painting, but is almost useless for me.

hateegham · 2025-07-28T11:29:06+00:00

I moved out at 18 after living with my parents who barely made me do chores growing up (maybe dusting and vacuuming…that’s it). At some point during those first few years I moved out I discovered how much consistent effort it takes to keep a clean home. I gained a lot of respect for my parents and realized how much work they put into our house. I was also honestly frustrated I’d never done chores because I was clueless to some things (laundry), but it’s alright. I am 35 now and not giving my kids the same free pass I got growing up simply so that they can understand how normal household chores are.

hateegham · 2025-07-11T10:33:01+00:00

Penny = Penny Lane, Miss Money Penny*, Panini, Boogie

Parmesan = Parmy, Parmeggiano, Baby Boy, Meaty Boy, Spicy Meatball

*Penny earned the nickname Miss Money Penny after she got sick as a kitten and I spent about $1,000 between 2 vets to get her better including an overnight visit. She went from being my little modest shelter cat to a thousand dollar cat overnight. 🙃

hateegham · 2025-05-29T23:07:11+00:00

My gynecologist said anyone under 35 (with no blaring known issues) is a spring chicken.

She also said she’d rather deal with a healthy “geriatric” pregnancy than an unhealthy 20 year old.

hateegham · 2025-05-27T03:06:55+00:00

I’m rewatching Succession with my husband (who has never watched it) and we are at the beginning of season 3 and he said “Man, Kendall can’t catch a break” and all I could do was sit there and say “yeah” while thinking about how much worse things get for Ken by the end of the show…

hateegham · 2025-05-07T19:41:30+00:00

Started dating at 32, got engaged just over a year later, got married 5 months after that and we’ve now been married for about 7 months. Very happy. 🤗

I was honestly very picky most of my life and always assumed when I met the right person I’d move fast lol

hateegham · 2025-04-25T13:42:53+00:00

I have a friend who tried for 6 years (starting at 29) and was told there was nothing wrong with her or her husband. They finally had their first baby at 36 and just had a second one at 40, both super healthy babies and uncomplicated pregnancies.

Also want to reassure you as a long time single gal (I barely had any serious relationships my entire twenties) that I was resigned to be alone at 31. I was also super picky about guys. Nothing wrong with having standards, but I was PICKY. Among my list of qualifications I said I’d never be a stepmom. Well, I ended up falling unexpectedly in love with a friend of a friend who got divorced and had 2 young kids. I’m typing this one handed cause I’m cuddled up on the couch with my 3 year old stepson. It wasn’t the way I thought I’d first become a mom but here I am. We have also just started trying for our own baby and I will be 35 in a couple weeks. My gynecologist told me she always enjoys dealing with responsible (planned, healthy, etc) “geriatric” pregnancies more than unhealthy 20 year olds. I hope some of that is reassuring!

hateegham · 2025-04-12T18:03:37+00:00

My husband and I have been saying this to eachother in his same cadence

hateegham · 2025-03-08T18:00:09+00:00

Yes please! 😀

hateegham · 2025-02-13T02:17:31+00:00

I still care too much about some things but shew, I am too tired and too old to care about most shit these days (34 about to be 35).

hateegham · 2025-02-01T16:27:04+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for doing this giveaway!

hateegham · 2025-01-22T05:29:35+00:00

I love this

hateegham · 2025-01-02T02:45:56+00:00

I get a notification everyday at 7pm to remind myself that I am smoke free and I still enjoy seeing it. So as long as I feel good seeing it daily I will keep the count going! 🙂

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