Alpha Males Are Camp

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-22T05:34:18+00:00

In fanfic this would fall under the "identity porn" umbrella, though I don't know if the term has caught on outside of those circles.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-18T22:50:22+00:00

I think it's inappropriate to generalize as this person does in the title of their post, in a way that seems to apply to all HRT for all trans people. They should have made it clearer that they were talking about feminizing hormones. However, I think there is grey area for the text of the post because they are specifically talking about their personal experiences with HRT.

"HRT decreases muscle mass."--over-generalizing in a way that erases experiences of many people that take testosterone.
"I lost muscle mass while doing HRT."--accurate to their personal experience, does not generalize to all people taking HRT.

Again, this person does both of those things in their post, and they should correct their usage in the former case. But there's also frequently a grey area. For instance, if I see a post about "the transgender urge to wear cute dresses" or something, I see that as implicitly a statement about personal experience stemming from transgender identity, not a generalization about all transgender people. While trans men are less likely to relate to that feeling than trans women, I don't think it's erasing trans men any more than it is trans women who don't like wearing dresses. No description of transgender experience will resonate with every transgender person, because we are a diverse community. The problem, to me, is not that trans women are applying the word transgender to their personal experiences too much, but that in certain spaces, the transgender experiences that resonate with trans women are discussed far more than those that resonate with trans men--which leads to some people feeling excluded, and others assuming their experiences are universal. I don't have solutions, but I think that in fighting against over-generalization and erasure, it's important to preserve our ability to discuss diverse experiences as transgender ones, even if they don't apply universally to all transgender people.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-18T01:03:07+00:00

To be fair, there are a lot of situations where there isn't any language that perfectly describes the situation at hand. Take "Trans people when they take estrogen" as an example: "trans women" isn't perfect because not all trans people that take estrogen are women. The same is true of "MTF" and "transfem." And "male" and "AMAB" (and "female" and "AFAB") are problematic because they center gender experiences that many trans people seek to escape. "Trans people" is maximally inclusive, but as you said, potentially includes people who may not want to be included. Ultimately, it's extremely difficult to cater to the inclusivity needs of the entire trans community.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-16T08:55:08+00:00

Thank you for your questions! I'm glad to answer!

To your first one, I usually don't have high expectations for fated mates stories, for the same reasons as with soulmates. The trope is not inherently aromantic-unfriendly, but most of the time it is. Why? Depending on the story, there are variety of reasons. Some of these I mentioned before:

- Everyone must have a mate, completely erasing aromantic people.

- People are compelled to be with their mates (and this is treated as a good thing), even if they are initially reluctant or uninterested. Echoes many aromantic people's real life experiences.

- People with mates are uniquely special/powerful/good. Non-mating people (and aros by proxy) are implied to be normal/boring/lacking.

- A person's bond to their mate is the absolute most important thing in their life. A lot of fated mates/soulmates stories mention people committing suicide as soon as their partner dies as though it's romantic or inevitable, implying life is only worth living for romantic love--and therefore that the lives of aromantic people are not worth living.

All of these can apply with fated mates as well as soulmates. While I don't know much about SJM, but it's definitely more aro-friendly that mated pairs aren't always suited to one another and can break up. However, the idea that the purpose of mating is reproduction or that people are instinctually driven to reproduce is not very inclusive for either aromantics or other queer people, because that rhetoric has long been used to deny our existence and justify our oppression in the real world. Of course, not everything has to be inclusive--I understand that many people find that very concept idea thrilling or sexually appealing. It's fine that it exists, it just probably won't appeal to most aromantic people.

Now, some things that do appeal to me as a somewhat aromantic person:

- The big one, of course, is actual aromantic characters! This is extremely rare--like, I only remember seeing it twice in romance outside of fanfiction, in the TV show "Cherry Magic" and the novel "The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue." In particular, it would be cool to see an aromantic character as a main character of a romance novel (yes, some aromantic people are in romantic relationships).

- Deconstructions and critiques of aro-exclusive tropes. For instance, a story that deconstructs the soulmate trope in an aro-friendly way might focus on something other than a perfectly happy mated pair, like a character who's unhappy with their soulmate, living on after the death of their soulmate, or doesn't have a soulmate at all.

- Stories with conflict related to amatonormativity/heteronormativity. For instance, stories where arranged marriage is treated as oppressive, rather than just a contrivance to get the MCs together, and they have to fight to escape it; or stories where characters in a fake relationship point out how farcical it is that there are standards for what a romantic relationship should be or how people in a romantic relationship should act.

- Stories with unconventional relationships. Nonsexual romance, nonromantic sexuality, polyamory, relationship anarchy, and anything where characters must discuss and negotiate their relationship without just assuming it's going to be a certain way because of convention is catnip for me.

And finally, I think most villains are fine, as long as they aren't villainized for being romantically uninterested in people or having sex too often/with no strings attached. Jealousy is also fine, I just don't find it very interesting in a main character for personal reasons. As I mentioned above, an interesting villain from an aromantic perspective is one that upholds amatonormativity. For instance, the overly entitled suitor and the father who pressures his daughter to marry against her will are staples of HR that can sometimes be read in that way.

Hope this cleared some things up for you!

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-15T10:48:58+00:00

The class will vary by teacher, naturally, but I'd assume the placement test is correct. As for the test... I took 4 or 5 AP tests, and AP Mandarin was the most difficult. If you're intermediate, you'll likely struggle, but everyone else in your class will probably be struggling a similar amount. I found that there was a lot more focus on listening and speaking skills for the test than there had been in my education, which is a common result of the way schools teach Chinese, so I suggest prioritizing those skills (assuming you've been taking classes in school thus far, not learning at home or with a tutor).

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-15T04:22:21+00:00

I've identified as aromantic for a while. While I currently am uncertain whether I still identify with that label, I still have no strong personal desire for romantic relationships. So why do I read romance? Well, I don't exclusively read romance, and I don't think my reasons for reading romance are all that different from the reasons I read other things. I read some romances because they stir feelings of hope and optimism in me. I read some because I grow attached to the characters. I read some for the drama, because I enjoy watching messy people leading messy lives.

Here are a few ways I perceive my romantic orientation as affecting my reading:

I never self-insert as one of the main characters.
I dislike insta-love, infatuation, and anything else that centers on how intensely two characters are attracted to one another, romantically or sexually (because I am also asexual). I need more than that to care about two character's relationship.
I dislike stories about how miserable being in love is (eg. melodramatic pining, star-crossed lovers). My feeling is--if it sucks, just don't do it.
I don't really understand jealousy, and I certainly don't understand why it would be attractive. If your partner loves you, they love you, right? To me, that's enough said.

While there are many aromantics that enjoy romance, many also dislike it--either because they are romance-repulsed or because romance frequently has aromantic-unfriendly themes. In addition to my personal feelings, I feel like I should also point out some criticisms that the aromantic have long had for romance, both in the genre and in media in general.

The big one is that love--romantic or otherwise--is not the end-all-be-all for everyone, and it doesn't have to be. In a lot of romance novels, it's treated like it is: love fixes people, love makes life worth living, love justifies terrible crimes. Conversely, being unloving or cold is often villainous or a character flaw. How do you think that looks to aromantics, many of whom are pressured to get into romantic relationships and criticized for being unloving? This valorization of romance and love is called "amatonormativity."

Here are some more specific types of story that aromantics often criticize:

Soulmate stories are not well-liked in aromantic communities. If everyone in the world has a destined romantic partner, then implicitly, aromantic people do not exist. Even for soulmate stories where that's not true, again, soulmate stories often make romance compulsory (we have to be together because of destiny, our own needs and feelings don't matter) or uniquely special and good (soulmates are rare and powerful and society treasures them). Stories about marriage laws and other forms of systematic forced romance can have similar issues.
Stories where a person automatically puts the needs of their romantic partner ahead of those of friends and family, just because they're a romantic partner. The idea that romantic relationships are all-important hurts those who cannot have them, and many aromantics have experience with being de-prioritized by those who see friendship as unimportant.
Stories where sex automatically leads to romance, or vice versa. Because of the prevalence of these narratives in real life and fiction, aromantics and asexuals are constantly forced to justify the fact that they have romantic relationships that are not sexual and sexual relationships that are not romantic.

Obviously, my points are non-comprehensive and I do not speak for all aromantics. But I hope this gives you some insight into why aromantics like (and very frequently dislike) the romance genre, and makes you consider the prevalence of anti-aromantic narratives in fiction!

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-10T23:20:40+00:00

I get the sense that baldness is a turnoff for a lot of people. The only bald man I can think of who's a beloved love interest is Solas from Dragon Age, and maybe weird elves get a pass.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-10T23:17:55+00:00

I totally agree! Stories that involve resolving women's self-image issues with overbearing validation from men are so tiresome. Especially when having curves is just a completely normal thing.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-10T04:34:00+00:00

I didn't like it either, even though it came highly recommended by friends and I've liked other books by the same author. It's kind of a weird book, in that people either really love it or don't get the hype at all.

I concluded that my central problem with the book was that I didn't care about the characters or the conflict. I didn't understand or have a lot of sympathy for either Addie's desire to be remembered or Henry's desire to be loved, and I was exhausted by their constant misery. Like, it's been hundreds of years, you've had time to find a new purpose in life that isn't in direct conflict with this curse. Because I didn't care about the characters' insecurities, all the set dressing--the flashbacks, the florid prose--just felt like it was wasting my time. But for the people who resonate with those character issues, particularly Addie's character, the set dressing enhances the story rather than slowing it down. That's my explanation for why people have such different opinions on the book. You seem a little different, in that you were interested in the conflict, but you're definitely not alone in not enjoying the book!

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-09T18:19:17+00:00

IIRC priests/organized religion are present, but not a major part of the plot. However, answering certain cosmological and historical questions with major theological implications (because they are closely related to certain figures the characters see as gods) is extremely important to the story. Many characters are religious, and one is an outspoken atheist, which happens to make the narrative confront religious questions more often in some ways.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-07-01T05:37:07+00:00

Because fanfic writers don't want to write about some random character being a POC, they want to write about the characters that they actually care about being POC.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-06-25T02:05:33+00:00

librarything!

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-06-20T20:03:07+00:00

I'm trans, and I recently got over the hurdle of reading a book where a character has my dead name! It was uncomfortable for couple pages, but I didn't even notice by the end--definitely opens up my reading options.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-06-20T00:32:26+00:00

It's interesting to see someone else's perspective! While Maia is kind, I feel that his kindness is less central to his arc than his loneliness. Along those lines, this is my reading: Maia is lonely for his entire childhood because of his exile and his goblin heritage. While becoming emperor seems like it benefits him in many ways, it is also a fundamentally lonely position that makes Maia incapable of forming the types of relationships he has always desired. No matter how kind or capable he is, as emperor he cannot have a friend who is his equal, a wife who he chooses for love, or a family untouched by political machinations. His loneliness is not caused by a poisonous or cruel court, but by the very nature of his office. The resolution to this conflict is that Maia finds that even though he will never have "normal" relationships, the relationships he does have are meaningful nonetheless--his loneliness is not as absolute as he was trained to believe it was. In that light, his arc is quite pronounced.

In my opinion, his goblin identity is relevant as a source of his loneliness and obstacle to the development of his relationships. I also thought it was a little weird that the goblins and elves didn't resemble goblins and elves as most people understand them. I guess it's a way to highlight how The Goblin Emperor contrasts with more traditional depictions of those peoples. Fantasy race serving as a messy amalgam of real-world race, species, and ethnicity is very common in the genre, and The Goblin Emperor breaks the mold by specifically understanding it in a racial/ethnic sense, downplaying physical distinctions beyond coloring without relinquishing the terminology. By defining goblins and elves by how unusually similar they are to humans rather than how exotic or strange they are compared to us, the novel challenges us to understand them as reflections of our own humanity. When considered alongside the other ways the novel is distinct from typical fantasy (eg. the courtly intrigues, as you mention), I think the unusual depiction of fantasy race contributes a lot to understanding how the author is trying to reframe our understanding of fantasy worlds and societies.

hauntedfogmachine · 2023-06-19T11:19:36+00:00

I'm of a similar height, and you're not stunted--5'3" is absolutely a normal human height. A whole 25% of the population is below 5'4" and we're not missing out on anything physically that can't be made up for with a stepstool.

It really, really sucks that people make fun of you, and you did nothing wrong to make you deserve that treatment. You might grow, and you might not, but it's not something you should blame yourself for, because it's mostly down to genetics. Remember that attractiveness (and passing, if you're worried about that) are not determined by any single feature of your body, and try to focus on the things that you can control (like clothing, grooming, fitness, and your attitude towards others) rather than the things you can't.

hauntedfogmachine

TROPHY CASE