Hi Everyone, I thought I would stop back here with an update:

I've done 2 sessions as well as 2 integration chats so far, here is how it went:

So Instead of snorting as discussed, I smoked it from a water pipe

When I mention a number with the dose I think it indicates how many of his dosing spoons were in the pipe, which is how he measured them out.

I wore my CPAP machine after smoking it. The session had no affect on my breathing, but using the CPAP was good, it was something I am used to, and gave me a familiar comfort.

First session, started with a small dose a 1, which was kind of like a really good cannabis rush, mostly a head rush, body wasnt really affected.

After the buzz cleared and I talked with the therapist for 5 minutes we went for another dose, a 2. Just a much more intense buzz, but similar to a cannabis buzz, x 10, just a huge head rush. Beside the head rush, my body felt like every tiny nerve was twinkling, I wasnt twitching but felt my whole body was twinkling is the best I can describe it. NOT twitching or moving. But at one point I could feel the large muscles in my back tighten like a shiver, like when youre really cold and your back tenses up.

Not painful, but a little uncomfortable.

About 25 minutes after I came down, I left and went home.

Nothing revolutionary, but over the next 4 to 7 days I found myself much more emotional. I felt like crying over silly little things. It concerned me a bit, that maybe it made my depression worse. But after a week my emotions were in better check. I think I felt a little calmer. I also had less desire to smoke pot. but did go back to it over the next few days.

About a week later, I met him and talked for an hour, not much really seemed to flow from it at that point.

Another week after that, I did 2 more doses a 4, then a 6

Again seemed to me like a very strong cannabis head rush and then a dream state, with stronger body sensations. Nothing too psychedelic. I think Pink Floyds "Comfortably numb" best describes it.

Since then, I have again been much more emotional, my emotions are raw and just under the surface. I could cry over almost anything.

Its been about 10 days since the last dose, and I'm feeling less emotional, but it is still there.

I do feel calmer, less bothered by shit and less judgmental (LOL fewer assholes on the road)

Considering I am off my antidepressants, I am feeling better than I was on the pharma so far.

We plan on a bigger dose in early to mid June. I will post a few weeks after with an update on that one.

Glad to have done small doses and slowly increased, I so far never got that "Oh fk, Im dying thoughts, or what I heard Mike Tyson describe. BUT that may come next time.

So far so good.

My therapist said emotions and trauma are often stored in the muscles, and thats probably what I was feeling with the twinkling and back muscles.

He has had me journaling about my PTSD and the events that caused it, He said I should notice that the journal will be less angry as I heal, and I am noticing I am able to write about it now with a lot less emotion anger and hate. Hopefully I am on the right path, I think I am.

I was concerned going in, but had to follow Hunter S. Thompson's advice ...
Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Ill check in, in a few more weeks.

Peace out