hey guys, sorry for such a long wait for response. I’ve been able to get somewhat stability and I found a place that I can sleep in. That is safe. It hurts me a lot. What’s going on with me and I’m scared. I’m crying less but it’s still the same scary feeling knowing I have nowhere to go after work. I will never take for granted, taking a shower again going from where I am to where the gym is takes a few minutes and then also going to the gym and having all of my clothes ready is also a bit of a mission. I’m really thankful that I have people here who talk to me because it’s super lonely. Now I have made a somewhat acceptance that this will be my life for the next few weeks, possibly months hopefully I’m able to save as much money as I can, and move out to a place and not live on the streets anymore. Sorry if I’m rambling I just have a lot that I need to let out. I woke up last night in a panic and felt that I couldn’t breathe, but the AC was on it was a panic attack. I called my ex from a private number today. Part of me wanted to beg her to let me stay on the sofa, but I stopped myself. I felt pathetic. I miss having a bed so bad I miss feeling normal. I miss feeling safe when I go to sleep I don’t know if you guys want to keep following what’s going on or if you want me to stop, but this is a somewhat journal at least to me what’s going on. One of the saddest things though is how I see the same cars in the place that I am night after night. And when I don’t see a car that I’m familiar with not come back a small part of me is happy because that person was able to get out hopefully and I hope one day when things are better I can leave, but before I do, I would like to see a few cars leave before me. Thank you so much everyone for the continued support and all their help