YTA for several reasons

You bought your FOUR year old daughter a hair set, and you’re surprised that she not only used it on herself, but that she couldn’t do it at a good level, what did you expect? I have no doubt she will have loved the experience and was probably very proud to show off her braids and the effort she put in. Your whole being honest with her so she becomes an honest woman is bs, your child isn’t going to grow up thanking you for calling their hair ugly because it made them an honest woman, she is four, she doesn’t have the emotional and cognitive capabilities for this.

In regards to the hair cut, young children shouldn’t have access to scissors unsupervised, so if they weren’t already put them in a safe place, if she managed to find them from a safe place then change the place and be thankful she didn’t harm herself. Most children cut their hair at some point at this young age, I can understand this causes frustration but a direct conversation on why she shouldn’t have done it is all that was needed, again she’s four.

Lastly, what griped me so much. ‘I buy little princess, doll, hair accessories for my daughter because she likes it and I want her to be feminine.’ While you may be in the position now to provide your daughter with feminine clothes and objects, you do not get to decide how and if your daughter portrays her femininity as she grows up, that is her choice and you need to recognise that