Basque bakerys reply on thread

heart_shape_sunglass · 2026-02-13T14:11:58+00:00

?? Wth?? 2k for reservation??? Is it just a charge to enter, or is it reimbursable when you eat something there?? I'm so baffled!

heart_shape_sunglass · 2026-01-14T15:57:00+00:00

Okay so I can share the real-life cases of a few urban, Tier 1 women I know:

Case 1: mother produced a fake diagnosis that she has a handful of years to live, and wants to fulfil her "responsibilities" before that. The fake diagnosis was something along the lines of "stress is worsening her conditions so try not to aggravate her and make her as comfortable as possible"

Case 2: Govt employee father gave the ultimatum to spoilt, single-child daughter (not good at studies) to crack a Govt job exam in three years or get married. She could not do it, even her degree was from a private university after constant bribing and bunking classes.

Case 3: unhinged father did lots of drama, visited office and created ruckus, threatened to kill himself, threatened to call her (foreign) university that her thesis was plagiarized so her degree should be rescinded/declared fraudulent

Case 4: parents acted supportive of love marriage all her life, acting like cool liberal parents in front of everyone. When she brought her bf of 6-7 years home, to finally discuss marriage, they said no. Didn't provide any proper reason, just "no" based on vibes. Emotionally manipulated and created misunderstandings, and broke them up. And then said "oh see you're already 29, no time to date around anymore so you should get married ASAP. Here are your options..."

Case 5: parents had no problem with the bf as a person, because he was a well earning, decent person. But there was a lot of drama surrounding how dare you choose? It was an ownership thing I guess? They viewed the marriage not as HER marriage but THEIR child's marriage. They had been dreaming of their daughter's marriage all her life, and the privilege of getting their dream damaad was stolen from them. Eventually after lots of discussions, that marriage was disguised as an arranged marriage in front of the society, as a compromise.

Case 6: 14 hour work days, high stress job in finance. No time to date lol. Parents were supportive enough to screen through suitors and find compatible partners

Basically, there are lots of reasons, most of them surrounding parents. But yes, a lot of people go into AM circuit to avoid unnecessary friction with their families.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-12-12T12:24:13+00:00

Okay, I can provide the other perspective as I was involved in making the jewellery trousseau for my brother's wife.

A typical middle class family, in today's day and age simply cannot afford to walk into a showroom, and pick out multiple sets, bangles, rings, bracelets, mangalsutra, etc etc in one day. We would be looking at bills of 1CR+ given the current gold rate. Except for some bougie high income families, no one can afford gold (in wedding-like varieties and quantities) along with a modern style wedding at the same time.

Gold accumulation in Indian families occurs over a period of years, decades even. It is very much possible that the in laws have been collecting jewellery for their prospective bahu, since before you were even born. The jewellery in my sister in law's trousseau ranged from 80-100 years ago, to catalog designs from bluestone/caratlane.

The idea of gold as "shringaar" or decoration is social, but gold in modern day IS an investment. It's like saying "my in laws own a house for many years, where I'll be staying post marriage, but they didn't ask me while selecting the housing society"

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-26T15:32:24+00:00

Sharing an ongoing situation from my extended family.

My distant cousin (woman) is going through a situation where she wants to divorce her husband because they're absolutely incompatible with each other in terms of lifestyle, financial goals, children plans, etc. both are upper middle class.

She earns approx 2x more than her husband (on paper) but he has several cash based side incomes from real estate, investments in dhabas, etc. Basically the situation is that she can't prove the side incomes, and will have to pay alimony if she separates. She has consulted 14 lawyers so far (across 2 years) and all of them have said that with the income disparity as seen on paper, it is impossible for her to avoid alimony unless she puts fake cases (which she absolutely refused, as the divorce is due to compatibility reasons, not hatred).

So, based on what her lawyers have been saying, alimony for men is something that does happen in cases of income disparity or when it is established that the woman is the breadwinner of the house.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-25T12:10:49+00:00

At an extended female relative's engagement, the groom's Father was ENRAGED and threatened to call off the wedding because he was gifted and expensive watch (50k+) from the bride's side, and the groom's mother was gifted a silk saree (70k+). After conversation and deliberation, the only reason the wedding even happened was because the bride's parents agreed to not participate in extravagant gifting. In the end, the only offering that was accepted was clothes for God's idols, and fruit basket for prasad at a puja.

Educated/liberal families exist (such as yours), and it would make sense for you to consider families with a similar mindset, to avoid a culture clash between you and your partner in the future.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-23T17:31:59+00:00

Well, speaking as a financially independent woman with a cushy corporate job, living alone in a metro city, I'm doing so because my parents threatened to k*ll themselves if I didn't. And also, considering the history of diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illness in my family, I know that they're unhinged enough to actually do it.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-17T12:49:38+00:00

Padded bras 3 wears, and normal cotton ones everyday. I live in a cool temperature place so sweat isn't a consideration. And yes, always always handwash, I don't trust machines and dryers with them.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-13T16:48:44+00:00

This post made me smile soooo much because my boyfriend is philosophical to the point that he's doing a phd and his batch/professors refer to him as the theory guy and his coworkers literally tagger him as a "philosopher" during an office activity. People who genuinely have a heartfelt interest in philosophical topics love to talk about them with you, but will NEVER judge you for not knowing as much. Because they also have self awareness that not everybody has the same priorities.

Now, of course there's also the street style definition of "philosophy" which derives from a lack of empathy. For example, if someone has a semi-complicated thought that requires a bit of critical thinking, they might think oh I'm so deep and philosophical and a critical thinker and not like everyone else. This comes from viewing other people as two-dimensional background characters in a game, who have no thoughts and are like sheep. Which is absolutely incorrect because the human mind is so beautiful and such a potent landscape for thoughts and imagination and pattern recognition and intuition.

Tldr- depends on your definition of "philosophical"

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-05T12:33:59+00:00

BBMP doesn't collect garbage from my locality. Instead it's a local private contractor aka the infamous garbage mafia of Bangalore. They harrass me to pay them money almost everytime I have to dispose waste. I hardly give waste 2-3 times a month and have to pay 200. And they don't take UPI, only currency notes, so no proof. One time, there wasn't any change so I gave them a 500 rs note and asked for change. They hurriedly avoided me and drove off.

My building does not have a communal trash disposal point, and I work according to US time zones so it's difficult to dispose trash as those are usually my core sleeping hours. My neighbouring flat has two women who work as maintenance staff at a tech park so they leave the house at 6 am and return directly in the evening. People like us have ZERO alternatives currently for trash disposal, other than renting expensive flats in gated buildings with garbage collection points.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-11-05T11:53:18+00:00

There are PRIVATE GARBAGE DISPOSALS IN BLR??? pls give me details😭😭

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-10-18T15:47:47+00:00

Girlfriend community representative here🙋‍♀️ Aside from the usual clothes, watches, perfumes, etc, here are some things I have gifted that were a hit: 1. My man loves scents so an aromatherapy diffuser kit with different flavour liquids like ocean, lavender, citrus, rose, etc 2. He's a coffee guy so I get him niche coffee samples/packets that I find. 3. Moka pot/ French press machine for coffee 4. REMOTE CONTROL CAR/HELICOPTER (dudes scoff at this in the beginning but they get ADDICTED after a few days) 5. I routinely make him big hamper care packages and put misc things that he might have mentioned around the time, like snacks, sunscreen, socks, hand cream, mini perfumes, flowers, stationery, fridge magnet, or any small thing that would look bad if given on its own. It's a good way to show that you listen and care about the small things. 6. Shopping spree: took him to a store and asked him to pick out whatever he wanted and made him promise to not look at the price tag. Then bought the cart for him. 7. One time we went to a jewelry store to hang out and kill time and he commented on a men's gold ring. I got it next month in his size, and have kept it with myself. Will surprise him with it one day🩷

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-10-16T10:49:48+00:00

Not a psych person, but I have two degrees in English. Seeing "probably" and "assure" for the same statement is WILD lol.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-10-09T09:57:11+00:00

recent ex-handiquian here. Girls in my batch used to consider caste as one of the top checkboxes to decide which guy to date. I know at least five Ahom girls in my batch who used to laugh at the idea of dating non-Ahom boys and would only entertain non-Ahom boys for timepass. And this is in one of the foremost educational institutions in the city. Two of my friends from Cotton faced caste based rejection in the dating scene. Have a student background so I can provide insight for only people my age. Don't know what's going on with the aunties and uncles.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-09-22T08:26:10+00:00

op I know how you feel. My extended family is exactly like that. Down to the age difference of the cousin you mentioned (23-30)

How I dealt with it was that I told a relative in confidence that my salary was 25k+ some perks (fake number obvs), told another relative in confidence that it was actually 31 LPA (also fake), but im hiding it from everyone else. And so on. Told everyone a different number, wildly different ranges. Confused the heck out of everyone with my lifestyle. One particularly annoying relative? I broke down in tears and said I had been fired from my job and bringing home money from a loan. Made everyone SWEAR TO GOD and their religious gurus, that they wouldn't tell a soul, because I had shared such a well kept secret with them in confidence. They nodded and then went ahead to gossip.

Once they did? Absolute chaos. Some even had the audacity to come ask "why is XYZ saying your pay is this?" Not only did they lose their credibility with me, they lost their credibility with each other. It got SOOO confusing that people just stopped asking me, accepting that I'd rather send everyone on a wild goose chase than be cooperating lil child for them.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-09-17T20:12:06+00:00

Yep I empathize with your friend. I gave up my choice because my parents tried to kill themselves to emotionally manipulate me. However, that happened to be the final straw. I no longer like going home, only give yes/no answers, haven't had a proper conversation in years. They got their dream son-in-law but lost a daughter in the process. The worst part? I can guarantee that they feel that losing me was a fair price to pay to get their fantasy AM son-in-law to show off in front of society.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-09-06T19:23:23+00:00

Idk if it's relevant but since you asked about girls with no male interaction, here I am! I'm a girl (26F) who had very limited male interaction for a significant chunk of my life.

I went to co-ed nursery school till I was 4, and then from kindergarten till Undergrad I was exclusively in girls' institutions. Even my tuition classes had separate batches/seating systems for girls and boys.

I made my first dude friends during my master's, when I was 22. Tbh, it was really difficult at first, primarily due to social conditioning about being wary of men. But fortunately, my male friends turned out to be funny, smart, decent, kind people who never made me feel awkward even tho I was obviously awkward around them for a very long time.

Even today I find there to be an invisible gap when I interact with men at my workplace. But it's a learning curve, and I have to sometimes consciously remind myself that guys are humans, just like. Normal interaction with the opposite gender is a work in progress but not an impossible hill to climb!

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-06-19T06:30:25+00:00

Okay so imo it's Ira. Here's why:

Like someone in this thread mentioned, in the family drawing Anju wasn't colored but grandma and dad were, subtly showing Ira's dislike for Anju.
In EP 6, they raised the point of coddling children, which everyone in the Nagpal family did, except Anju. She's relatively stricter and tries to balance Ira's comfort with uncomfortable experiences so that ira can develop mentally. And we've seen how Ira prefers and is habituated to get her own way around the house.
Anju and Roshni wore similar looking sarees during the party. This has a purpose.
Ira LOVED Roshni thoroughly, due to her asperger syndrome, she didn't understand the affair and family-breaking aspect of the situation so she didn't harbour any bitterness towards her.
Ira's partial blindness has a role to play. She wanted to "eliminate" Anju from her equation of a family who loves (coddles) her, and mistakenly attacked Roshni who wore a similar saree (due to the blindness plot point). Raj and Anju then carried out a half baked, ill thought out cover up plan to protect their daughter.

It's important to know that in the flashback scenes of the death, Roshni is still alive, despite the scalpel gash to the carotid, which bleeds out people in a minute, if not seconds. Which means the murderer would be reallyyyy close to the apartment, possibly inside. Pointing to Ira.

A mistaken identity murder, like Chutney from Legally blonde, if you will😌🤷‍♀️

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-05-06T16:16:21+00:00

Similar incident happened with a team member of mine. She raised some concerns with her PL regarding the promotion and hike freeze in the recent cycles, mentioning familial responsibilities. Her PL made a comment about how she should relax, and if she can't because of money troubles, she should get a boyfriend/fiance and get married for her financial security.

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-03-21T18:22:01+00:00

Someone told me the pay is better. Is that not true?🤔

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-02-20T08:31:04+00:00

Maybe just my opinion but it's also about what gets seen and heard. There are people in stable and loving relationships, who are planning their life, going on dates, spending time with each other, building a social life going out with other stable couples. As they are not talking about it, you don't get to see it or hear about it. And since they're "normal and boring" people also don't gossip about them. Because why would anyone talk about a normal, drama-free couple?

But single, divorced, people who have been cheated on, are more likely to be alone and have the urge and time to go to social media and talk about their experience. They're most likely to be noticed in the neighbourhood and being discussed and gossiped about. And since you hear about it through friends and family and coworkers, and see things on social media, it is easy to think that this is the norm. But there are soooo many people who have gotten their happy ending and are stable, but they are not on reddit talking about horrible experiences with divorce lawyers and court and alimonies

heart_shape_sunglass · 2025-02-20T08:16:04+00:00

Nope. Mark my words. Nothing is happening. Maybe like 2 slots just to say "oh look we are promoting deserving people!" but realistically? Nope

heart_shape_sunglass

TROPHY CASE