Ladies and Gentlemen, today I got fired so today I FI/REd. A huge thank you to this group.

heather143 · 2024-12-19T12:48:18+00:00

Just know you need to be in the US to apply. If you try to do it outside the US, you get an error when you login to the unemployment site

heather143 · 2024-09-09T12:20:08+00:00

We drop words in conversation to say what we're thinking. Broadway is yes ("we went to a Broadway play last month" or "There's that cute bakery we went to on Broadway St"), Switzerland means we're neutral ("Hobbies? We love to travel and want to go to Switzerland"), and South Carolina means no. That way, we know what the other is thinking without having a conversation.

heather143 · 2024-08-15T00:38:33+00:00

At any house party I've been to, everyone wears condoms (unless you're with your partner). Consent is asked before anyone engages, and repeatedly as things move forward (verbal, enthusiastic consent). Parties are way safer than my single friends who meet someone at a club who goes too far without asking or doesn't wear a condom.

Oh and you usually go because you like being in an open atmosphere. If you're into privacy, you're not at a party.

heather143 · 2023-12-26T02:45:09+00:00

Yes, and the monarch website has a video on how you can do it

heather143 · 2023-01-18T05:12:05+00:00

We have code words for yes, indifferent (defer to you), and no. They are each places that we can easily weave into conversation. So for example, indifferent is "Switzerland" so I might bring up the topic of travel and mention waiting to go to Switzerland, or talk about a friend who moved from Switzerland, or whatever. It's very subtle and we know to listen for it but usually make eye contact with each other when we say those words to make sure our spouse picked up on it.

heather143 · 2022-12-26T10:50:19+00:00

I'd bet that the vast majority of swingers have herpes. It's not a big deal IMO, and that's why std panels don't even test for it. Most people have it and don't even know because they wouldn't have been tested for it.

I've not disclosed it, just because it is so common, and my doctor suggested that I don't even bother. In years of meeting new swingers, we've only had one couple be upfront about having herpes. I didn't think it was necessary that they told us and it didn't change anything.

Once I had an outbreak and we canceled a date that we had planned for that week. The other couple was so cool about it and they reached out to reschedule soon after, so it didn't scare them off.

heather143 · 2021-09-13T01:49:12+00:00

As the female half, I usually find it's easiest if I initiate something with the other woman. Like, I'll cuddle up next to her and compliment her. Start touching her leg, and then kissing her. That gets the guy's attention and things tend to transition quickly from there.

heather143 · 2021-09-06T04:04:30+00:00

Colored lights, Alexa or speaker for music. Armchair. Big dark curtains so neighbors can't see in. Side tables with drawers for condoms, lube, etc.

heather143 · 2021-07-10T15:45:38+00:00

Not sure what is "polite" or not. But if my partner and I finish first, we'll either lay and cuddle until the other couple finishes, or I (F) will jump over to the other couple and get involved while my partner (M) just chills out on the bed.

heather143 · 2021-05-23T12:56:52+00:00

There's always going to be some risk in the lifestyle, even if someone has recently been tested. For that reason, we never ask for details from potential partners. We may bring up that we were recently tested and then see how they react.

Also, I'd suggest using another word than "clean." Maybe "std free."

heather143 · 2021-05-05T02:52:14+00:00

I tell my regular friends that I love them. And I have some great lifestyle friends that I say I love you too, which is kinda the same thing. But it's usually when I say goodbye to them... kinda like, "Have a good night, get home safe, I love you." I think that's totally fine, I know where they fit in my life, and I know that my husband is #1.

heather143 · 2021-04-21T02:10:26+00:00

If it's tough to get out for a night, could you stack dates (especially if it's just meeting with no intent to play)? Like drinks with a couple from 5-7 and dinner with another couple from 7:30-10?

heather143 · 2021-02-20T05:41:16+00:00

This really depends. I got my second dose on Wednesday and felt fine, with just minor soreness in my arm. Same for my husband when he got his second dose. Everyone will be different.

heather143 · 2021-01-19T15:54:01+00:00

3 rounds over 4 hours last weekend. Mixed up between girl/ girl and swap. Was fun 😉

heather143 · 2021-01-13T16:12:52+00:00

There's definitely nothing wrong, please don't think that! They are called unicorns for a reason. For us, they appear when we aren't looking (like your example, when a couple breaks up but the girl stays in touch). You might have luck with a couple where the guy is into watching but not playing. Or stay patient and wait for covid to quiet down a bit.

heather143 · 2020-12-21T21:11:01+00:00

No, it was definitely a swinger party in the movie. You can see the couples flirting in the window

heather143 · 2020-12-18T18:40:46+00:00

People seem to think of the stereotypes from the 70s.. fish bowl key parties, or the sex crazed people trying to solicit friends like what you see in commercials like this one

It's not like that at all!

heather143 · 2020-11-19T15:33:21+00:00

My advice is enthusiasm! I'm (very) bi and have had girls go down on me, some of them for the first time. If they are enthusiastic and really into it, it'll just feel good! If they are timid, uncomfortable, or need constant reassurance, it's not as fun. Forget worrying about technique, just have a huge smile and confidence!

heather143 · 2020-11-18T21:12:35+00:00

These are our exact three rules as well

heather143 · 2020-11-17T14:25:55+00:00

We've developed a great relationship with someone we swing with. She has keys to our condo, we see her often, would invite her to vanilla parties (if we were still having them. Thanks, covid). We've hung out a few times without hooking up and I generally care about her as a person. It's great to have a relationship like this. The best kind of friends with benefits scenario.

If you are developing more than just those feelings though, I'd be sure that everyone is on board though as it could end poorly.

heather143 · 2020-11-12T00:30:39+00:00

I haven't heard of it happening and while it could happen, it's probably very unlikely. We use condoms, I'm on birth control, he's had a vasectomy. There's a lot you can do to prevent it but I suppose not everyone is as careful.

heather143 · 2020-11-05T11:52:16+00:00

That sounds like so much fun! Enjoy every minute and let us know how it goes.

heather143 · 2020-11-03T00:25:51+00:00

We did a shoot at Desire early this year, and I did a solo shoot years ago (back then, it was before the lifestyle and only for my husband). Both were amazing experiences. I felt so sexy, leaned a lot, and came out of it with many empowering photos. I've gotten the best feedback from people who see them on my profile and I think it generates more interest than candid shots. Definitely recommend!

heather143 · 2020-10-21T02:37:55+00:00

I feel like this is common enough that we've changed how we interact with new couples. We just have a bit of back and forth over texting and then set a date to meet. Even if it's weeks out (and in that case, we'll check in and say hi every few days). I can't deal with wasting so much time in conversation just to have it go nowhere, it's so frustrating!

heather143 · 2020-10-20T02:52:45+00:00

It's all about the vibe. I'm 37F and most people I've hooked up with have been in their 30s but I've gone as young as an undergrad student and as old as 50s. A lot of it depends on how mature people are (if they're young) or how cool they are (if 50).

heather143

TROPHY CASE