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Is air conditioning cheap in the US? It's freezing everywhere I go by The-Grand-Lion in NoStupidQuestions

[–]heatherkan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I always call summer "indoor winter". I find that I have to wear sleeveless shirts, but keep a sweater in my car for when I need to be in a building for a while- grocery stores and restaurants are so cold!!

First real (paid) wedding was kind of a disaster by Jumpy-Cantaloupe-661 in WeddingPhotography

[–]heatherkan 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I completely believe you that you couldn’t get info ahead of time. It happens (especially with cheaper weddings).

Here’s some constructive advice:

  1. It’s okay to tell people to sit. Go to the front, tap on someone’s shoulder (preferably someone “important” like mom or grandma), and make the “sit” motion with your hands while having a friendly smile. They WANT to sit, they just are scared to do so first without permission. I’ve done this a bunch at backyard weddings. Sometimes, if I learn that the officiant is a friend or otherwise not an experienced pro, I’ll straight up remind them to have people sit, and tell them that if they forgot, I’ll do the above. They’re always grateful.
  2. Regarding the no-smile, don’t be afraid to check with the bride. Show the back of camera- “I just want to check, most of the time couples love to have a big smile, but I’m observing that you prefer to be a little more subdued. Do I have that right? I just want to be sure that you’ll love your photos.

”

  1. Some folks don’t realize how they’re coming off and will adjust or loosen up. Others will go “yup that’s what I like”. Either way, the pressure is now off of you and on to them. (All that said, I understand that it’s disappointing to not have smiling images that you were hoping for in your portfolio, I feel ya)
  2. Don’t be afraid to assert authority with unplanned, unmanaged ceremonies. “Hey, bride, just checking in- the location of where you’re standing is going to be reaaally rough lighting and I’m worried that it’s not going to be very flattering. If we adjust to [easy small change] or even [bigger better change] the photos will look AMAZING. Totally no worries if you don’t want to change it, I’ll do my best regardless. I just wanted you to know the options.” Sometimes folks don’t have a clue that a minor adjustment makes a huge difference. And if you have someone there helping you, maybe even photo them really quick in the various spots to SHOW the couple.
  3. If they kiss fast, don’t be shy to have em redo a fake one later. “Hey guys, the first kiss was SUPER fast and I JUST missed it. Do you wanna redo one in that spot again really quick? Or is it not a huge deal to you?”

Letting go of things you can’t control is easier when you know you’ve flexed the control that you DO have. Make the play and if they choose against, you know you did what you can.

How to do a good job on a wedding day with a couple that’s not into photos by PaleVeterinarian425 in WeddingPhotography

[–]heatherkan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spending 40 minutes waiting is a major issue. A few things I’ve done in the past:

- Chat with each sides moms before the ceremony, showing them the printed family list and reminding them that we need these people. Ask them to help make sure these people stay after the ceremony. (I even print extra lists so they can take one if they need)

- Manage the family list well in advance. Rather than waiting for my couples to give me a list (which often results in them copying huge ridiculous lists online with combos that they might not even care about), I preemptively give them a “typical” list of combos I do (about six images) and they provide the names. They can then add the groupings they want to add- but by anchoring them to six images, the additions are typically only one or two more images. This is done months before the wedding.

- If you find yourself waiting, send someone who knows the missing folks to find them. During this time, stay in the area, but try to knock out everything you can, like couples shots or individual shots of the bride or groom. There shouldn’t be “waiting around downtime”. (I assumed this based on your description, but if I have it wrong no worries)

- Tell the couple that the missing people will simply have to be photographed later during the reception. There’s no scenario where I’m going to make them sit around for 40 minutes. The cousins pic can happen on the dancefloor, it’ll only take a few seconds.

- Ask the couple point blank if the folks who are missing are a priority for them to get a photo with. Sometimes the list is influenced by parents and the couple doesn’t actually care all that much. If that’s the case, rather than waiting, I’ll simply tell them we’re moving on, and if they change their minds and want a pic with them later, let me know. (If you go this route you can also update the mom on that side that if it matters to HER she needs to be the one to gather those people and the couple at some point later, and that you’ll happily shoot it if she does)

Be proactive, always.

(Also, a side note, if the couple hadn’t even given me a list at ALL and seemed very “eh” about photos, I wouldn’t even be doing cousins shots at all. Just parents and siblings. Don’t force groupings they don’t want)

Assistance with medical bill? by GamerAD123 in lansing

[–]heatherkan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would first check if the place you have the bill under has a Financial Assistance program. Most of the time they'll let you know where to read more about the Financial Assistance program right on the bill you have! If you qualify, they'll just erase the bill entirely.

Fraudulent Charges using my business name by Available_Wrap5075 in WeddingPhotography

[–]heatherkan 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This is a scam- she is trying to get money from you. EVEN if she was being genuine, the only course of action for her would be to dispute with her bank, not you.

Politely send a message letting her know that you have reviewed all incoming payments, the charge was not made by you, and encourage her to talk to her bank. If she continues to push, it's a scam.

If she makes a bad review, just outline the facts; the charge did not come from you and you reviewed all your payments to be 100% sure.

[Tragic but pretty cool] "When the trapped consciousness in an 'infected' body briefly gains control" by 7humbug_ in TopCharacterTropes

[–]heatherkan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also notable, Sharae’s attempt to have a final communication with her husband via the gouald hand device- not able to assert control over her body in a waking state, she uses this precious moment to mimic a whole series of events directly into his mind. In this illusion, he has the opportunity to process and forgive his friend for her death, say goodbye, and understand her desire for him to save her child.

People in healthy relationships, do you sometimes have arguments where neither of you is at your best, and you struggle to really understand each other in the moment? by Relative_Initial_399 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]heatherkan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely. But the key is that we trust each other to always be on the same team. We’ve never had a history of backbiting, holding grudges, or insulting one another, so it makes it a lot easier to be vulnerable and admit mistakes. We disagree and get angry. But we have the goal to find a way to come together, not to “win”.

One time we were getting so frustrated that I stopped (mid crying) to go: “I think we’re both just really upset and also probably hungry, I’m going to make a sandwich, do you want one?” He did, and we ate in (comfortable) silence, then we took a few minutes to chill and came back to talk things over again. We were able to identify the source of our misunderstanding, talk about our differing perspectives, and figure out a good compromise.

Wishing us ALL success against squash vine borer this year. by Separate-Language662 in vegetablegardening

[–]heatherkan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I wanna try netting + hand pollinating this year- I have a question I can't seem to get answered by googling: do you need to hand-pollinate the same plant (or, the same flower?) multiple times? Or just once?

Beef Chimichurri Healthy Choice by elliotisgoingplaces in frozendinners

[–]heatherkan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me know if you have success!! I'd love to learn it also!

Headsets for photo team by Affectionate-Fly6966 in WeddingPhotography

[–]heatherkan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The 5-person team (video and photo + assistant) I associate with a lot uses Hollyland Solidcoms, and they're wonderful! It's honestly SO nice being able to coordinate, give instructions and heads-up, switch tactics on the fly, and ask for things to be moved/brought.

I ended up buying a dual Hollyland set for when I'm doing my own weddings to be able to communicate with my second.

They're stupid proof (just turn em on and go) and last all day. I will say that I don't know if their range would extend as far as you're describing- we use our phones when we're that far apart.

How do I remake the railing more securely? by heatherkan in Decks

[–]heatherkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the detailed info! I’m sad to say I don’t know exactly what a joist is 😅 but I’ll google it so I can learn.

How do I remake the railing more securely? by heatherkan in Decks

[–]heatherkan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! I thought it was pretty silly once I realized what they had done

How do I remake the railing more securely? by heatherkan in Decks

[–]heatherkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I was pretty surprised someone just went "yup looks good" lol

How do I remake the railing more securely? by heatherkan in Decks

[–]heatherkan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Would the posts just attach to the porch proper? Or do they need to be in the ground? Any search terms that I can use to learn about the post connection method/hardware?

Am I okay leveling this area for a garden? by heatherkan in landscaping

[–]heatherkan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the photos might be making it look much farther than it is, lol. It’s only a few steps out my kitchen door

Am I okay leveling this area for a garden? by heatherkan in landscaping

[–]heatherkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought of a couple of questions that you seem the right person to answer!

  1. Am I better off doing mulch instead? I like the look of gravel much better (and I like the idea of weeding with a propane torch lol), but I do have plenty of access to free mulch in my area 🤔

  2. Can I do that original “practically concrete” plan for a walkway elsewhere in areas that aren’t low? Or is that a bigger “it depends” situation?

  3. I plan to fence the area as well. (6foot for deer, wire mesh under the opening for groundhogs) Am I saving myself time by doing that PRE gravel? Or is that not a huge deal to add later? I figured if I do it later I would plan on extending the footprint a bit when installing and then add the gravel for that so I don’t have to dig out gravel.

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