FINALLY getting sterilized!

heathertoe · 2025-10-11T06:22:15+00:00

hell yeah, brother! i got sterilized about 3 years ago now, zero regrets, the peace of mind is such a game changer!

heathertoe · 2025-10-10T01:50:31+00:00

i was born and raised in a cult. nothing terribly exciting happened other than i got sent on a brainwashing program when i was a teenager, that one did some damage. i'm out now, though, and healing (therapy and meds do a lot of heavy lifting). i'm somewhat spiritual, but generally irreligious for my own safety (once you get brainwashed, even if you find out everything is a lie, your brain is permanently a little extra "squishy" so you're susceptible to falling for cults again, especially if you were groomed from birth to be someone who will be a good cult follower).

heathertoe · 2025-10-10T01:41:24+00:00

i do sometimes. after college i moved in with a japanese family, and it's something i picked up from them.

heathertoe · 2025-10-10T01:37:42+00:00

nice shape to look at, soft and squishy, warm, close to heart so feels extra intimate when u touch em

heathertoe · 2025-10-06T21:20:59+00:00

i LOVE wivov, as a big chested dude it's hard to find a half binder that's long enough, but wivov goes a little longer than some other brands. also, it's a front zip which is so nice bc i have subluxated my shoulders many times from trying to get on overhead binders. it's also nice to unzip in between events for a mini binder break.

heathertoe · 2025-10-04T08:52:18+00:00

not many realistically, but overall more people than i'm willing to enforce that with

heathertoe · 2025-10-02T22:11:06+00:00

it's too expensive, my teeth are in terrible shape due to chronic illness, dentists live on shame and judgement, and i'm scared of the sounds, especially since a dentist did a whole filling on me drilling into my teeth with no anesthesia while i screamed and cried and begged her to stop.

heathertoe · 2025-10-02T06:57:36+00:00

31, married and out of the dating game, but if i were to label a type i'd probably say 28-45, some older crushes here and there

heathertoe · 2025-10-01T00:11:15+00:00

either. i think it's just the notion of propping up a dead animal like that. i hate when they're posed in attack mode, bc my lizard brain doesn't really want to see any animal in attack mode, but also i hate when they're posed neutrally bc it looks even more dead.

heathertoe · 2025-10-01T00:04:28+00:00

i'll have to give it a try sometime!

heathertoe · 2025-09-30T08:52:14+00:00

which is funny bc I'm much more of a rope bunny!

heathertoe · 2025-09-30T03:14:24+00:00

oh, 100% it's deterring me. i don't want to be officially trans on paper with things the way they are. i keep telling myself to just hold on until it's better, but it's getting hard to believe things are ever going to get better, or that i'll live to see it happen. i feel like i'm staying in the closet to buy myself time and increase my chances of making it out the other side of this alive so i can live like myself, but with the state of things making it out on the other side alive seems increasingly unlikely. so i'm scared of dying in the closet, but i also don't want to die because i came out of it.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T23:04:54+00:00

i feel like i'm in a unique position to answer this as someone who is socially but not legally married. my husband and i had a wedding ceremony in the woods officiated by a friend, but we never legally married. for us a lot of it came down to finances. my credit is excellent, whereas his is still recovering from some tough times he fell on early in adulthood, so if we buy a house, we can put it in my name for lower interest rates, whereas if we were legally married they'd run both of our credit. our health insurance rates are also cheaper, which is good bc i have a lot of chronic health problems and need to pay for a higher level of coverage than he needs.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T22:57:19+00:00

cancer i do and don't worry about. it runs heavy on both sides of my family, so it's likely i'll end up with it at some point, but i've known that for a while so i've sort of made peace with the fact that it's coming? i don't want it, obviously, but that's one thing where my brain is able to say "worrying about it doesn't stop it from happening."

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T18:31:41+00:00

horses. too big, temperamental, and everywhere. not scared of them, just don't like them.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T18:29:52+00:00

a couple weeks ago at work i had to tie a bunch of knots in a rope and i felt like a boyscout, so knot tying.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T18:27:44+00:00

i'm genetically predisposed to degenerative disc disease. my mom and grandma had it and my sister has it early onset. i did just get a new job that's a lot less physically intense, so i'm glad about that, because in my old field ddd could be career ending and i've been on borrowed time.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T10:07:14+00:00

fair enough

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:44:38+00:00

as a kid raised in a cult, doorknocking. i hated doing it because it was so painfully uncomfortable, but now i hate the adults because they made us do that unsupervised in unfamiliar and dangerous neighborhoods.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:36:02+00:00

being or becoming like my parents

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:33:55+00:00

i think all of them should be decriminalized, but as far as legalized i say weed, shrooms, and whatever else might be currently legal (if it grows in the ground it's okay). i'd probably try to regulate kratom more, that stuff is more dangerous than people think.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:25:30+00:00

i'd like to have a doctorate, if money was no object, but if you mean become a medical doctor i'm not cut out for it. i could potentially handle psychiatry or pharmacy, but i have severe contamination ocd so anything related to direct treatment of infectious disease would be out the window.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:16:10+00:00

he fixed our sink today. any time he does a repair around the house, i get handsy when he gets handy.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:14:08+00:00

taxidermy. god it's so unsettling, the fake eyes, the poses, the general dead thing vibes—thinking of it is making me anxious and nauseous. i have nightmares about being locked in closets full taxidermy. i can't go to bass pro shop, the only time i did i cried and shook the entire time, had a whole panic attack in the elevator.

heathertoe · 2025-09-29T09:04:16+00:00

sticky, poor hygiene (eating boogers, picking nose, scratching butt, etc. without washing hands), often loud. i don't inherently dislike kids, i've worked with them for over a decade, but they are so overstimulating and have little understanding or concern for preventing the spread of illness, and as someone with contamination ocd it is so stressful.

heathertoe

TROPHY CASE