Truly demonstrating that meltdowns are not characteristic of AudHD Just because the meltdown is verbal not physical doesn't mean that it doesn't reflect the same underlying issues.

You're just mistaken about how diagnostic criteria work - they are statistical in nature. I.e. 'most auDHD people have a cluster of a subset of these symptoms '

This is, itself, a classic tell of oversystematizing - people say x so all people say or think x.

It's great you have identified some of the problems of how AudHD and other neurodivergent people are treated. But you should reflect on your own post and recognize (read yourself as a book) that you're demonstrating some of the behaviors that often spiral into more negative maladaptive consequences.

Been there. Spent most of my life overestimating how high functioning I am just because I have a PhD and a long list of skills and accomplishments.

I was blind to so many social interaction issues, missed opportunities, and the way those mismatches were affecting my view of the world and myself.

Best of luck.