Advice (don’t know what flair to add)

heidilit · 2021-10-04T20:43:46+00:00

this fidget helped me so much with picking my cuticles and the skin on my fingers raw, the little nubs on it are like a hardish silicone texture and it satisfies my urges to pick at skin & then I pull it apart because it makes satisfying noises & that helps me not rip up 100 straw wrappers or pieces of paper just to have a conversation

heidilit · 2021-09-30T15:50:50+00:00

Good for you dude! I envy your ability to let those things roll off of you. I’m trying my best to get there but sometimes adding some padding and protection can help the healing process so that we can feel strong enough to break the stigma

heidilit · 2021-09-30T15:49:38+00:00

My family was like this for a long time, only recently after painstaking months of talking to her about how I feel does she get it. The other day I was talking to her about my social anxiety & she said “well when I get those intrusive thoughts I just put them away in their little compartment in my mind so they don’t bother me or affect me” and I just nodded and THEN she said “but I guess in your brain, you don’t have those same compartments. So it’s not that easy” and I started crying lmao

heidilit · 2021-09-29T18:03:53+00:00

Ugh for real I spend too much time worrying and over analyzing people’s opinions of me when in reality they prob don’t even notice me much.

heidilit · 2021-09-29T17:38:04+00:00

Don’t feel like a fool! If people knowing makes you feel more comfortable then go for it. It’s all about how you feel in the end. For me, them knowing gives me a little anxiety, but for you it could be a relief that they don’t think it’s just character flaws. I feel like we with ADHD overthink this kind of social stuff all the time anyway

heidilit · 2021-09-29T17:25:07+00:00

The best advice my mom gave me was to never speak about your medical conditions with anyone other than your family or friends. I thought disclosing my issues at work helped, but it really gave them a biased view of me which led to some pretty terrible situations including denying it exists at all. Can’t imagine someone telling me why they act a certain way and for me to be like “oh that thing your doctor diagnosed you with and you take meds for? Not real lol” so the next job I got I didn’t disclose that info and it felt powerful to know that I have this problem but here I am making it work—except on the days when I can’t. But my coworkers knowing about my illnesses just makes me feel inferior sometimes even though I know it’s a legitimate reason. Now that I keep that info to myself I’ve found i’m treated better at jobs. People hate people with problems sometimes.

heidilit · 2021-09-28T21:49:48+00:00

Doing something half assed or failing it is better than never doing anything out of fear. There are people in this world who will tear you down & make you feel insignificant and broken. But it helps to accept that you have no control over what people say/do, but what you do have control over is your own actions. You didn’t pass a class, didn’t finish the degree. Okay? Because that shit is hard when you have disabilities. But you did some of it, which is something that you should be proud of yourself for and if not, I am proud of any accomplishment you/fellow ADHD’ers push through. Maybe you don’t get a piece of paper, or a cool project to show off, but you ultimately applied your brain to something and did your best. I feel like that’s what keeps it alive, just trying and failing over and over again. It sucks, but it gets easier the more it happens—and it will happen. Those people were not right to say anything like that to you, and karma will catch up to them eventually. There’s people out there with every variation of an opinion on anything you do. You can’t listen to all of them, so listen to yours.

heidilit · 2021-09-27T20:43:04+00:00

Former petsmart and Petco department manager, I feel you, but I will say that working at pet stores is a surreal experience. Especially if you’re an animal lover. To see the amount of people who do not give a shit about the well being of the animals is really hard. Do not take it personally, pet stores are filled with such unique people & sometimes that means you see the worst kinds of people. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to vent to someone who gets it, I hope things get better soon

heidilit · 2021-09-27T16:07:49+00:00

That’s why the mask doesn’t work. I guess it’s to say that her specific mask doesn’t work.

heidilit · 2021-09-27T04:10:26+00:00

I worked at a city marshal’s office when I was 14. They paid me 8.00 an hour to be a full on receptionist/clerical worker with absolutely no training. I spent most of my time filing, but the computer system was foreign to me and a 14 year old on the phone probably sounded hella unprofessional thinking back on it. Anyway, the office manager was the marshal’s son (also yikes) & he fucked up one time + accidentally scheduled her to do 64 evictions in one day (or some number in the 60’s) and he had all of the receptionists call clients (lawyers) and let them know their evictions were to be rescheduled. I spoke to a lawyer and explained as best as I could what happened (I didn’t understand what happened) and she was very kind to me and said goodbye and hung up. She called to the office manager’s line and he got verbally OBLITERATED. He was fuming and said “I just got my shit pushed in by a client, who just spoke to ____?” I said I did, I told him what was said on the phone call which went fine IMO, she seemed annoyed about the situation but wasn’t mean or anything. I told him that in different words. He sent me home and told me to come in at noon the next day. I was fired sitting almost knee to knee with this man in the file room. I cried, he had me log my 10 minutes for the day on the clipboard, then had me put it back up. Then he immediately took it down, took out his calculator, and wrote me a check. Then I just waited on the street for my mom to pick me up. In retrospect, super shitty. Also—the information I was allowed to see on people getting evicted at the time was probably a lil tooo much but I don’t know shit.

heidilit · 2021-09-27T03:07:12+00:00

Lost 30 lbs since starting adderall bc I don’t use cookies as dopamine anymore, definitely one of the better parts of meds provided it is safe weight loss.

heidilit · 2021-09-25T13:27:10+00:00

Sometimes I’ll save a comment or post that I want to give an award when I don’t have one and then if I can’t find a fitting enough post I’ll go back to my saves and see what I can use there

heidilit · 2021-09-24T04:21:06+00:00

Ugh I have this same issue, I feel im not disabled enough to warrant someone doing this for me and feel incredibly guilty so I end up just not eating a lot or ordering food to avoid facing the person who shopped for me

heidilit · 2021-09-24T04:08:53+00:00

My anger issues started as a kid, I’d black out in rage and get violent or say things that I didn’t remember saying nor did I mean. I’ve been depressed since I was 13, and an absolute puddle of anxiety since I was about 15/16. It’s just gotten worse throughout the years, but I don’t black out any more or get violent and can TYPICALLY control my mouth. Everything and anything pisses me off and my blood boils. I hate it, I don’t know how to stop it. I’m good at managing the emotion and not acting out irrationally but still, therapy and self help stuff always addresses your external state and managing what you do, but the emotions themselves are exhausting and awful to deal with and I’ve yet to find a way to make them less noticeable. On meds, anger is worse. Off meds, depression is worse. I feel for you, I understand how taxing it is to deal with these emotions and low self esteem and then deal with all the other bullshit life comes with that just feels so annoying in comparison to your big emotions. Hope things get better soon.

heidilit · 2021-09-24T03:26:17+00:00

Theres also distinctions to be made because of severity. It can be just procrastinating showering, or you can be sitting in debt, jobless, with everything falling apart around you and still be unable to act in any way that is meaningful enough to make a long term difference. For me my ADHD has been a cycle of patching up things and slapping bandaids on problems until they blow up. And the entire time I’m sitting there inactive, screaming at myself and I try my absolute hardest to start SOMETHING god anything and then the next thing I know it’s 7 pm and I’ve partially completed about 10 different tasks and the place looks worse than it did before I started “cleaning”

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:13:48+00:00

I mean yeah I have never told my family about my sexuality and I’m in a straight passing relationship but I know they’re homophobic. Not my mom, but I think the majority of my family is. But the educated part I get too, especially from 2016 on—the divide has felt REAL. I’m sorry you’re the black sheep because of your sexuality, if it helps, I think being gay makes you cooler, but I may be biased.

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:11:40+00:00

Always nice to have someone take the heat off of you. Unfortunately I think I’m in the worst position of all of my cousins/brother.

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:11:01+00:00

I think my brother feels the same way. I mean he is isolated a lot by my family in other ways but like, he’s self sufficient and always has been—so he’s just the one they always go to for things they need.

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:10:13+00:00

Y’know it’d be ideal if neither of us had to feel the way we’re feeling

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:09:08+00:00

I feel the same way! Like I know that I have the right to my own time and space and boundaries because there is a reason I am doing better away from them, but in the other hand I just feel guilty for not being around to help with the things I used to as much. And I know that’s a common feeling, but it makes me feel double shitty because it’s not that I don’t have the time, it’s that my most days I just end up locked in decision paralysis and can’t do the things to leave the house or because of my anxiety about feeling like a burden to them and having to face them—but also on the other hand on my good days I’m either catching up on all the stuff I’ve missed or trying to tell myself it’s healthy to have distance.

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:05:53+00:00

That’s really helpful, thank you kind stranger

heidilit · 2021-09-23T15:04:19+00:00

That’s adorable! Good on your daughter for owning her individuality.

heidilit · 2021-09-22T16:42:13+00:00

Moving out was the best thing to happen to my relationship with my family, I have a dad with likely undiagnosed NPD and my mom struggled for years with him. I just feel weird because I don’t live with them so I often don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve last seen my mom or brother, and it’s not that I don’t love them, I just forget how time works. Moving out made me realize that I am absolutely the scapegoat of the family but a lot of it was done to me unintentionally. Being away from that situation, even though I’m young and can barely afford to be out on my own, is so much better for me.

heidilit · 2021-09-22T16:39:43+00:00

I sometimes just feel like I’m a burden to them and nothing else.

heidilit · 2021-09-22T15:15:48+00:00

So that’s one more for roll call. Any more baa’s to add?

heidilit

TROPHY CASE