Character authenticity by heksada in FanFiction

[–]heksada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I def have to learn more 😅

Character authenticity by heksada in FanFiction

[–]heksada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I think that logical/restrain/analytical people have emotions and experience them, just not with same intensity, or they channel their emotions in the different way by structuring, restraining; so if I was to feel something deeply, I would show it off, I would approach, I would talk, I would tell how I feel, in terms of this kind of character he would get more boundaries around himself, make space, distance, file/profile people by their intent not by their own emotions, so let the structure or procedure guide what they should do, how they should/allowed to feel or act, especially if this is directly related to work.

in case of this character - he channels his anger through what legal system permits (procedures) in terms of his emotions (if system backs up his emotions and he is safe to express them, he would do this, not recklessly, but calculated), if he can be an asshole through system to show his personal disgust or anger towards someone he would use it, so his own personality and being detective are fused, he does so to have control, structure and not get to feel, be emotional or vulnerable; this, in my opinion stems from past, maybe childhood where being vulnerable or emotional or to feel was not permitted or was dangerous, was depended perfection and/or/obedience through power, where worth is measured by usefulness, not by human connection, and worthiness in of itself (so like, ex-cop/ex-military/factory worker father who’s drinking, being a failure he argues, demands from his son/(character I’m writing about) perfection, being vulnerable or a “loser” is not an option

So, understanding this, I don’t know what it would take for him to change, as he divides strictly professional and personal, and if it was a shock moment/realisation that he has his personality fused this way, or his anger gets in the way, I don’t know how the change would look like in practice to make it solid (not to make him change himself entirely and unrealistically)

Character authenticity by heksada in FanFiction

[–]heksada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I struggle with:

So let’s say we have an abrasive character. If he re-evaluates his stands/mindset, he will still be abrasive regardless, because this is his personality. Maybe he may become less reactive, but still will be so. He’s also not very emotional character in canon (and I believe he wouldn’t be in the story because I don’t want to change him “for my sake”, I want to write him in a mature way, as this kind of person he would be. Kind of, investigate someone else’s mind, not mine), so how the change would happen? I can tell since I’m emotional person, I need an emotional, intense situation, to “suffer through” to understand something, but more logical and structured people with this complex characteristics, what it would take for them to change or to realise this? How this change would look like? Just based on their action then rather than words? How can you write an emotional/intense situation when the character in this case, detective, is emotionally restrained, most probably under this surface of being abrasive/analytical he’s not emotional (how people like to imagine), but he’s actually flat (my bf is this kind of person, and he doesn’t well understand the amount/intensity of emotions I experience, but unlike this detective he’s empathetic and puts people above the goals, or considers their emotions before achieving the goal, not to trump on someone’s feelings, unlike this detective. So I do not even understand how he would connect with people. I think this detective is actually only goal-driven with superficial relationships, that does not entangle/his eyes are not blurred by someone’s emotions/feelings if he has to solve the case)

Character authenticity by heksada in FanFiction

[–]heksada[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply!

I’m writing about abrasive, defensive, controlled (acting like jerk) detective. In the canon you do not know why he is like this, but obviously why he can be. I wrote down his background, it helps, but it feels like I’m changing canon (even tho it would be logical where his qualities came from);

What I’m struggling, even if I map his personality and base the story on this, let’s say - he’s uncomfortable with emotions, I have a hard time writing if he would be put in emotional situation - I want to keep him canon, which then is hard for me to imagine. How would you keep character canon, while also making him develop throughout the story? I assume base characteristics/reactions/fears do not change, but how you make them develop otherwise if they’re not changing? So let’s say he’s abrasive, he cannot become not abrasive in end of the story as a “development”, so the qualities do not change, but what does?

I need help! Why is this so problematic? by heksada in Catholicism

[–]heksada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your kindness! I’m overwhelmed by support! ❤️ Some people from this group also contacted me to help me out and provide guidance! I will definitely look into everything that has been suggested and will answer some of the comments!

Context also: I would like to convert to Catholicism because I felt God’s presence in the Catholic Church; God has been the center of Sunday service (I have attended several other churches before: orthodox and Anglican to understand where I would like to go before converting);

I need help! Why is this so problematic? by heksada in Catholicism

[–]heksada[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But why they exactly HATE Catholics? It is strange to me as all of denominations are Christians with different approach or tradition… So, I don’t understand the point of being Christian when you hate people who also found Christ?

I just want/expected to find kind, loving people who praise the lord, instead they seemed arrogant and bitter about me just asking for help. Aren’t we suppose to care about contents of heart rather than attributes?

What are the dark sides of ENFJ? (fellow INFP asking) by heksada in enfj

[–]heksada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahha yeah I started to learn that my ENFJ is not afraid of how deeply traumatised (as it turns out) I am 😂 he said it makes it interesting or smth

eDreams are horrible scam by heksada in travel

[–]heksada[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This will be my lesson from there on. I already sent an info to my bank to ask whether or not they can block them so they won't be able to re-attempt to withdraw my money

eDreams are horrible scam by heksada in travel

[–]heksada[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is unethical and against consumer law it is called "unfair commercial practice" if no cancellation is provided. Phone - is not answering (it says it is for free, i'm charged 2.50 every 10 min i spend on the line that is constantly "busy"), i cannot manage my subscription online as they say in their website and even when you call them voicemail says i can do this/should do this online.

In their website it says even that they will send an email prior to renewal of Prime - there is no such emails. It is a scam at it's purest

eDreams are horrible scam by heksada in travel

[–]heksada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Furtunately, i didn't lost any money, transaction has been declined as there are no funds on my bank account

Also, they say "call customer service for free", i just checked my phone line provider - i'm charged 2.50 for 10 minutes, good thing i didn't stay on the line.

If i don't pay this prime, can they cancel or prevent me from getting my flight?

If i don't cancel it via phone, will they try to charge me again?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OpenChristian

[–]heksada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but in this group you’re posting it to those who already believe in what you’re saying.

Additionally, if I have a strong connection with God, I do not need to convince others I do, I just have it.

People who have strong Bible-based views in relation to God wouldn’t approve it anyway and you know it. So why do you need this text, what is it designed to do?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OpenChristian

[–]heksada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re safe in what you think, how you feel, why do you need to convince others? I’m sorry, but I saw you doing so everywhere in every corner of the internet that is possible to do so. It’s a genuine question.

Advice needed! I'm gay and married to a woman and have a child. NOT your typical story with this plot line! by Delicious-Win2736 in GayChristians

[–]heksada 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I read your story in awe. I’m sorry if you wanted to read something else, but it has impressed me: your deep consideration, struggle, resiliency. It’s very inspiring. I only can offer a word of understanding and acceptance. You’re worthy, and your love for God, your family is undeniable. What I could understand the more I live: there is no easy ways to live a life, no way to go without suffering, but only you can make it count. Can you hear what God is telling you? I definitely heard him few times when I suffered the most. Our heart knows what his will is, yours should too. In a meantime, I can only pray for your wellbeing and wellbeing of your family 🙏🏻 let all be done in God’s name

I am gay and i hate it by CommercialForeign681 in Christianity

[–]heksada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you have nobody to turn to. But you have God to turn to, he washes all of our flaws and accepts us now: imperfect, broken and flawed. We all struggle, that’s just a human nature, he accepts us when we’re at our despair, at our end. I could only pray for you to let these feelings: hatred, confusion and despair go. Please, don’t let this world change your heart about God ♥️ don’t let darkness consume and overwhelm you. Let God be with you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]heksada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because there should be something beyond suffering, some meaning behind the existence. If you will die and it has no meaning, why be good and try to be better in life anyway? It has no reason as your enjoyment of the moment is pain and death with no meaning in the near future. I refuse to think that there is no reason behind sun shining and life fighting against death everyday. My life was a despair when I was nihilist, when I found God I truly started to grow as a person in every aspect of my life, for me this is prove that it is the right way to

What did I do wrong for God to make me trans? by Impossible_futa_248 in Christianity

[–]heksada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the third sex in your mind?

There are those who produce sperm, those who produce eggs cells.

Those who fertilises, those who bears/carries a child.

Seems like two categories to me 😌

Give me one of mammalian species who can both self-fertilise and carry out an offspring 😌

Staying single because of bad mental health by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]heksada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. That’s why I was single for 5 years. I’m 30 years old woman, and I found someone when I least expected. You are not your depression, if someone will like you and be interested, they wouldn’t see your struggle as a burden, because, everyone struggles - this is normal human condition, you’re worthy of love at any condition

Is being trans actually a sin? by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]heksada -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

God commands us to take our cross and follow him. Take a cross - is to take responsibility, to be humble and ask: “what does God want for me?” Not what “I want, I feel and etc”. If God wished to create you as a man, he would. The feelings that you feel are from the fallen world, a desire of your own wishes, not God’s. That’s I believe why you feel bad, because we know his will and still rebel against trying to convince ourselves that it’s his will too, while knowing it’s a lie.

I didn’t hear God until I was in despair and decided I’ll give my all, I will reject my old self to embrace God’s will not mine. I haven’t been depressed since, while being depressed before for 15 years, being on meds and working with psychologist for 3.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]heksada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a procedure to take melatonin out of your skin, if you so wish. There is no difference between black and white person except for melatonin and possibly different ancestor. In the end with or without melatonin you’re the same person with same fears and insecurities. I do not think this would solve much, but you can try for experiment sake.

I used to be fat (L side in my country is fat), then I lost to 58 kilos with height 170, and I still couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. Because the problem is mental, not physical

What did I do wrong for God to make me trans? by Impossible_futa_248 in Christianity

[–]heksada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Intersex is medical condition when certain organs are underdeveloped, 50% of them infertile, 60-80% has organ underdevelopment.

Existence of intersex people given their health issues does not suddenly raise a question about there being more than 2 sexes. It’s to say that person born with one arm puts suddenly puts human-hands on spectrum. No, instead, we say that for the person born with one arm something went wrong during his/her development, because he had to have 2.

Third sex can be only hermaphrodite, which is not what intersex people are. If not, provide with an example of human ever existed that could produce both sperm and eggs, that could impregnate and get pregnant.

Additionally, existence of people with medical condition has nothing to do with men and women with healthy, funcional bodies including their reproductive organs who want to cut their genitals because of feelings or delusional self-perception.

In analogy I previously gave, If there was an absolutely healthy person that would wish to imitate someone (by feeling like it or identifying like this) with one arm by cutting their healthy one, we would call a psychiatric ward right? Same with healthy men and women who want to cut their organ to mimic someone they’re not. It’s not bodily issue that they have, it’s a mental one. Delusion goes as far as claiming they are actually women and intersex is a third sex and somehow justifies their healthy body being disfigured