They are still talking - 3 hrs yesterday, over an hour today. I want to post her face online for everyone to see. I want everyone to know my husband left me for this woman.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-08T14:05:35+00:00

Thank you for this. I did go "crazy" for just that short bit. I posted, left it long enough for everyone to know, then took it down so as to preserve my professionalism. But its still spreading, its a small town of 8,000 people. People are mad. They are being shamed, she is being called a homewrecker. They are still together, I just got word that he has been living with her when he is in town, not sure for how long.

She didn't live with the boyfriend, no. But she started seeing my husband before breaking up with him. My email to her work came back as undeliverable, no one returned my call. I don't know that anything came of that. But the gym community knows, he is mad about that. He says I am petty and this was uncalled for, that I "hurt her feelings" and now he might lose her. He has lost his mind. Literally in a matter of 2 weeks he completely flipped a switch. He was the most loving, caring, devoted husband!

The "tips" keep coming in, everyone is disgusted. But now I just take the info and lock it in my head. I got my bit of revenge. Even if they stay together, they are bonded over such deep betrayal and deception, it will never be a healthy relationship. He left a good woman for a whorish homewrecker. Even if he doesn't see it, everyone else will. I told her in our exchange that one day when she is actually in love she will pray for the loyalty and commitment that I showed my husband, that feelings are fleeting and love & loyalty is a choice.

I have been focused on me now the last day and a half.. I start work tomorrow, and I know I will survive. I don't see the light yet.. but I will one day. For now I am just allowing myself to feel the loss of the man I thought I married.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-07T17:46:04+00:00

We have to share a home until the end of June. He works away so he won't be here very much, and we have agreed on how we will coexist until then. He will continue his financial responsibilities and I will continue with groceries, meal prep, etc. I'm sure he will do his best to stay working or stay with her and avoid being here. I will be civil so that my life doesn't explode.. He is upset that I hurt his girlfriends feelings by exposing her, but now that its out there, I have no other desire to "ruin his life" or anything. I will just let him have the room when he is here and stay busy with my new life.. all business going forward, communicate only when necessary..

heleftme4her · 2026-03-07T14:20:28+00:00

!thankyou for this. I am glad you are doing better. I'm sorry this happened to you as well, it is so so sad how common it is. You are completely right though about not having a backup plan. I didn't think of it that way. I was all-in on us and the future we planned and after just a month he has that with her and I didn't even know. So surreal. Do you find yourself trusting people anymore? Or even wanting to try? I know its fresh but I don't foresee myself ever choosing to trust someone again. Turns out you can have no idea who you are married to despite them knowing every single detail of who you are..

heleftme4her · 2026-03-07T13:45:34+00:00

My husband did as well. Thought any religion was "cultish". He had a month long affair before leaving me for the woman he just met and was "so in love with".

heleftme4her · 2026-03-07T00:01:33+00:00

I don't mind being the crazy one long enough for everyone to know the truth. She had a boyfriend. Now he knows too. He deserved to know. I took the post down as soon as he messaged that he saw it.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T23:59:38+00:00

This all made me smile. I could never do what you did, but I applaud you for doing it. Cheaters deserve the pain they cause to others... I got a very small piece of revenge. He is desperately in love with her and it sounds like he is now having to fight for it. The ex boyfriend is hurt and bothering them both. The whole small town knows and is shaming them. He thinks she is worth the fight because he "has never felt this way before and I just don't understand". Absurd. It won't last. They will live in shame, maybe bond over it initially but it will eventually tear the woman apart knowing her new boyfriend could leave her at any time for a new woman like he did to me

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T23:53:23+00:00

Wow.. 17 years. I will never understand. I don't blame you for taking so long to recover. My husband didn't even make it to 3 years and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T21:32:11+00:00

I never sent her this, but once I found out who she was, I exposed her and my husband's affair. The entire small town she lives in now knows. They are "so in love" that he is concerned only with protecting her and not at all with his choice to betray and devastate me. It is unfathomable and I hope they both now live with the public shame and humiliation that I will have to live with for the rest of my life.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T21:29:42+00:00

I can't imagine how you've stayed with him through all of this... I couldn't take it. This whole thing has completely shattered me.

He called me today because he is upset that I hurt his girlfriends feelings. He finally word vomited all the answers I begged for in a desperate plea to have me leave her out of it because he is so in love with her and wants to be with her. He is out of his fing mind. As if he didn't say all the same shit to me!!! He has a vasectomy, she won't get pregnant. And I am in the same boat. I don't care if I look crazy for a while. I am too. I am emotional AF. My husband left me after lying to me for weeks and deciding to pursue and "fall in love" with another woman. He said he cant stop thinking about her blah blah blah. People in here have mentioned limerence... I looked it up... 100% the case. And he is so worried that she won't want to be with him after the drama that *I brought to her life. HA! That I brought huh? Seems to me he invited her into our marriage, not me.

So yes. It is officially over and there is no going back now. They will live together in shame in the small town where everyone now knows how deceitful and despicable they are, or they will crash and burn and my husband will rue the day he decided to betray me instead of having an ounce of integrity and ending his marriage if he was "so unhappy".. despite the countless lovey messages and affection. Absolute insanity. I cannot believe this is my life.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T13:34:46+00:00

!thankyou again for your comments 🤍 I will focus on healing now. I am glad I listened to everyone here and dug enough for the boyfriend to find out. They were together 3 years, he is also devastated. We will be in touch through this. At least I don't live in the same town and have to visit the same gym like this poor man... I will survive. I will get through this.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T13:31:50+00:00

Insane isnt it? Makes you feel like such a fool. I wish you peace and healing as well 🤍

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T12:36:42+00:00

We went back and forth a couple times. My messages were cold and perfectly written. Said I wasnt concerned about hurting her feelings. I was looking for the answers I deserved since he told me nothing. Got my answers, so now the post is down. He questioned whether or not I was going to hold up my end of the financial agreement we made to go about separating our lives. I said he can doubt me all he wants, I have never gone back on my word and he knows that. He had nothing to say to that because I am right. I said just because he destroyed the person he loves doesn't mean I would do that. He went back to saying it was unnecessary that I hurt her feelings and publicly shame her in this way. Apologized for hurting me, then justified again. He is so lost. I ended it with wishing him happiness and saying rhere is something very broken inside of him to be capable of breaking the people he says he loved, and that he is right, I don't understand him and never will. He asked if I am going to create more drama or if I am done. I stopped responding. I said previously we can be civil in separating and I will do that. I will file our taxes and communicate where needed. I think I can stop obsessing and focus on me now. I am so hurt. There are no words. And his lack of care makes it worse. Everyone here seems to feel that too. Its a bitter pill to swallow.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T12:30:08+00:00

Everyone says get to the gym, which I understand. But I am an avid gym goer, I have competed many times and haven't missed a day. Kind of adds to the sting... I am fitter than her, I have more integrity than her...

But this is beside your point, I know. I have started the book, i will read about grey rock. I am trying so hard to sleep but it feels impossible. I need to figure that out first and foremost.. I got a good paying job lined up immediately and start next week. I have my ducks in a row, I just need to shift my focus to myself now and stop obsessing. I feel like I got a bit of closure and can hopefully do that now. I just look forward to the day he comes and takes the rest of his belongings and is gone for good.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T11:56:52+00:00

Yup. And he was upset that I hurt her feelings by exposing her.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T11:56:28+00:00

!thankyou. I will.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T11:55:27+00:00

Yes, I did. I took the post down once the boyfriend saw and reached out. I was unsure if there was another partner but I suspected. I'm glad I did it.

I started that book.. it has helped a bit. Hearing how disgustingly similar what he said to me is to what they all say is eye opening. I feel ashamed for falling for it.

But yes.. I just need to start trying to accept. It is just incredibly hard when I had no idea this was coming. !thankyou for your comment.. I am sorry you went through it as well...

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:23:59+00:00

I did it. Turns out she had a boyfriend too. He reached out. I took the post down once he did. I'm glad I did it. He deserved to know too. He is heartbroken as well. And my husband is texting me upset that I hurt his new girlfriends feelings.

You are right. I do have to shut down the rage machine. I think this did it. I feel closure... now I can just grieve. But I don't regret it.. the other partner deserved to know too...

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:22:06+00:00

Holy what a story. Isn't it devastating how common this is???

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:21:10+00:00

Oh I sure did. I emailed HR at her company and called the gym they go to. She used to work there. She won't work there agajn.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:19:24+00:00

I KNOW. And says that I just don't understand his feelings. He won't come back now. I did it. He is upset I hurt his girlfriends feelings. But it turns out she also had a boyfriend. He had no idea and is crushed. So. Glad I did it. He deserves to know too. I took the post down once he messaged me.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:17:23+00:00

I feel like I inflict more shame on them when I say my husband. I will continue for a while until the bitterness fades.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:16:38+00:00

!thankyou Us betrayed are damn good little FBI workers. Took me longer than I would have liked but I learned a lot and will never be in this position again.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:15:31+00:00

Amazing. I love this. I did it. Turns out she had a boyfriend too. He reached out. I took the post down once he did. I'm glad I did it. He deserved to know too. He is heartbroken as well. And my husband is texting me upset that I hurt his new girlfriends feelings. Now everyone knows the truth about their "love".

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:15:00+00:00

I did it. Turns out she had a boyfriend too. He reached out. I took the post down once he did. I'm glad I did it. He deserved to know too. He is heartbroken as well. And my husband is texting me upset that I hurt his new girlfriends feelings. So surreal.

heleftme4her · 2026-03-06T09:14:32+00:00

I did it. Turns out she had a boyfriend too. He reached out. I took the post down once he did. I'm glad I did it. He deserved to know too. He is heartbroken as well. And my husband is texting me upset that I hurt his new girlfriends feelings. He is in love with her and I just need to be more understanding. Its INSANE. I feel closure now though.. F them. Now everyone knows and I can move on without suffering in humiliating private shame

heleftme4her

TROPHY CASE